OP here. I actually do not know anyone personally who has/had secondary infertility. Primary yes (lots) but secondary no. Everyone I know who struggled with primary infertility got pregnant quickly with a second (sometimes naturally, sometimes from frozen embryos from their younger years). I was denied from joining support groups because I'm secondary and not primary, makes this more of an isolating experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

No one can answer this question for you, pp. Not anyone on this forum. Not an RE. Fertility is really tricky. Unexpected things can happen. Expected things can happen.

Perhaps you are asking the wrong question though. Rather than asking a question no one can answer - e.g., will I get pregnant - perhaps you should be asking yourself what you can live with. Let's assume you continue to resist IVF and just don't want to go that route. That's ok. Nothing wrong with that. Instead, you continue to try and get pregnant naturally. If it never works, would you be ok with that?

OP here. Yes, I would be okay with that. It's Mother Nature telling me that a second pregnancy for me is not meant to be. It sucks but it is what it is. It's just very hard for me to accept that this is happening given my history the first time around.

You seem really hung up on the fact you had a child naturally. Do you have any idea how many women deal with secondary infertility? Also "accepting what is happening?" What's happening is you have access to top notch medical care so you can get pregnant but you're turning down treatment for emotional reasons.

I just feel bad for you spending so much time and energy on success rates, talking to RE after RE, trying to guess as to if it will work, still trying to conceive naturally....when you could just do DE/IVF and probably have a baby!

I spent a lot of time and energy myself and made this huge deal out of it. Got pregnant on my first round of IVF. I had to take the meds for what, 9 days? It was seriously no big deal. I realize I got lucky and achieved success on my first round. Regardless, I'm just so happy I went through with it and I'm now pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

No one can answer this question for you, pp. Not anyone on this forum. Not an RE. Fertility is really tricky. Unexpected things can happen. Expected things can happen.

Perhaps you are asking the wrong question though. Rather than asking a question no one can answer - e.g., will I get pregnant - perhaps you should be asking yourself what you can live with. Let's assume you continue to resist IVF and just don't want to go that route. That's ok. Nothing wrong with that. Instead, you continue to try and get pregnant naturally. If it never works, would you be ok with that?

OP here. Yes, I would be okay with that. It's Mother Nature telling me that a second pregnancy for me is not meant to be. It sucks but it is what it is. It's just very hard for me to accept that this is happening given my history the first time around.

I don't understand why you have the option to try and have a baby using DE or IVF but you're turning it down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

No one can answer this question for you, pp. Not anyone on this forum. Not an RE. Fertility is really tricky. Unexpected things can happen. Expected things can happen.

Perhaps you are asking the wrong question though. Rather than asking a question no one can answer - e.g., will I get pregnant - perhaps you should be asking yourself what you can live with. Let's assume you continue to resist IVF and just don't want to go that route. That's ok. Nothing wrong with that. Instead, you continue to try and get pregnant naturally. If it never works, would you be ok with that?

OP here. Yes, I would be okay with that. It's Mother Nature telling me that a second pregnancy for me is not meant to be. It sucks but it is what it is. It's just very hard for me to accept that this is happening given my history the first time around.

OP- as for your question about DE. It's like a FET. The meds are minimal compared to IVF. BCP or lupron to shut down your cycle. Then estrogen to build up your lining. Then add in progesterone (IM shot or suppository) until 10-12 weeks. Very minimal monitoring visits.

If you can afford it, I recommend using frozen eggs just because it simplifies logistics.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

No one can answer this question for you, pp. Not anyone on this forum. Not an RE. Fertility is really tricky. Unexpected things can happen. Expected things can happen.

Perhaps you are asking the wrong question though. Rather than asking a question no one can answer - e.g., will I get pregnant - perhaps you should be asking yourself what you can live with. Let's assume you continue to resist IVF and just don't want to go that route. That's ok. Nothing wrong with that. Instead, you continue to try and get pregnant naturally. If it never works, would you be ok with that?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

No one knows. However if you want to get pregnant the best way to do this is to move forward with IVF. Stop consulting with REs (you seem to do a lot of that) and simply have some treatments done! Also seriously get off the statistics talk. You're obsessed with talking about success rates and this doctor said X chance and another said X. Look no one knows until you give IVF a try!

We tried for four years. Testing revealed nothing. We pass every test with flying colors. I got pregnant the first try with IVF. It's no big deal and I'm so glad I went through with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am already seeing an RE (I have gone to see 3 for a second opinion) including the DOR expert at Cornell who told me he does not think I have DOR despite my .4 AMH because my AFC is so high and my FSH is normal. Another RE agreed with him and both diagnosed me as "unexplained." Shady Grove believes I am DOR however.

I am not willing to do more than one IVF because I already have a child and I'm not willing to put myself though all the side effects. I've already done IUIs with Follistim and they were very challenging for me due to the side effects (i.e. for example I grew huge uterine polyps after each one and had to have these removed). I also only produced 2 eggs on the max doses of Follistim which is not good. I have made dietary changes and am on supplements. We have now done 26 cycles of timed intercourse that have all resulted in no pregnancy.

It seems that your best chance of getting pregnant, then, is IVF with a donor egg. If you do natural cycle IVF with a donor egg FET you can minimize your exposure to meds. If you aren't comfortable with that idea, then just toss your birth control and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then you have your answer. Have you spoken with any REs about natural cycle IVF?

OP here. I have not used birth control at all since I got pregnant with my son (he's not even 3 years old). We have been TTC #2 for 26 cycles of timed intercourse, never got pregnant even once. The only time I was ever pregnant was with my son. I did speak to Dr. Gordon at Dominion about natural cycle IVF and he said he wouldn't recommend it for me due to my low AMH. I am not keen on the idea of donor egg but what would a donor egg FET with minimal meds be like?

Why do you keep repeating this?!?! Who cares? Sounds like you need IVF.

I am 31 and had sex for four years and never got pregnant! IVF worked on the first try.

Why do you keep harping on the meds? You take the meds for like 10 days! Just deal with it if you want another kid.

OP here. The reason I mention that it's been 26 cycles with zero pregnancy is that all the REs I've seen say my situation is "unusual"--history of being pregnant on the first try with my son, then TTC for 2 years and nothing, not a single pregnancy, and "unexplained infertility," all within a span of less than 3 years. REs have not discouraged me from trying IVF, but they've been frank that my chances of success are very low. I'm just wondering if I will ever be pregnant again.

You most likely won't if you don't do IVF. You've been posting on here for ages about your stats and how it's unlikely it will work and blah blah blah. But what have you actually done? You haven't tried IVF. You haven't tried donor egg. Plenty of women require IVF to get pregnant and for secondary infertility too. You seem unable to accept the fact you can't get pregnant. I'm not sure what to tell you besides that if you want another child you most likely need IVF. It's not that complicated and the meds aren't that big of a deal.

OP here. I'm 38, not 40, but my ovaries appear to be 40+.

Anyhow, I was organizing my file cabinet today and found my notes from one of my consultations with an RE who is an expert in DOR. My notes say that he predicts a 30-40% chance that I will be pregnant in 3 years naturally (I went for a consult a year ago). I had forgotten about that and thought it was interesting. I remember him saying that he thinks I'm sub-fertile and not infertile (actually the other REs I've consulted with also said that). So maybe my situation isn't as hopeless as I thought in terms of getting pregnant naturally?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am already seeing an RE (I have gone to see 3 for a second opinion) including the DOR expert at Cornell who told me he does not think I have DOR despite my .4 AMH because my AFC is so high and my FSH is normal. Another RE agreed with him and both diagnosed me as "unexplained." Shady Grove believes I am DOR however.

I am not willing to do more than one IVF because I already have a child and I'm not willing to put myself though all the side effects. I've already done IUIs with Follistim and they were very challenging for me due to the side effects (i.e. for example I grew huge uterine polyps after each one and had to have these removed). I also only produced 2 eggs on the max doses of Follistim which is not good. I have made dietary changes and am on supplements. We have now done 26 cycles of timed intercourse that have all resulted in no pregnancy.

It seems that your best chance of getting pregnant, then, is IVF with a donor egg. If you do natural cycle IVF with a donor egg FET you can minimize your exposure to meds. If you aren't comfortable with that idea, then just toss your birth control and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then you have your answer. Have you spoken with any REs about natural cycle IVF?

OP here. I have not used birth control at all since I got pregnant with my son (he's not even 3 years old). We have been TTC #2 for 26 cycles of timed intercourse, never got pregnant even once. The only time I was ever pregnant was with my son. I did speak to Dr. Gordon at Dominion about natural cycle IVF and he said he wouldn't recommend it for me due to my low AMH. I am not keen on the idea of donor egg but what would a donor egg FET with minimal meds be like?

Why do you keep repeating this?!?! Who cares? Sounds like you need IVF.

I am 31 and had sex for four years and never got pregnant! IVF worked on the first try.

Why do you keep harping on the meds? You take the meds for like 10 days! Just deal with it if you want another kid.

OP here. The reason I mention that it's been 26 cycles with zero pregnancy is that all the REs I've seen say my situation is "unusual"--history of being pregnant on the first try with my son, then TTC for 2 years and nothing, not a single pregnancy, and "unexplained infertility," all within a span of less than 3 years. REs have not discouraged me from trying IVF, but they've been frank that my chances of success are very low. I'm just wondering if I will ever be pregnant again.

OP, I'm the PP who suggested natural cycle, not the cranky person who jumped down your throat. So, the reason I said what I did about throwing away your birth control was not because I expected that you would get pregnant. I know the chances of that are dismal. (You clearly have secondary infertility.) My point was that with your sensitivity to meds, AMH, age, inability to get pregnant (even if only to miscarry), and all the limiting factors you've mentioned... then it seems to me that you can either hope for the best by continuing to try naturally, and come to peace with the possibility that it likely will not work, or you can do a natural cycle FET with an egg donor. In that case, you would not need to be on meds for egg retrieval since the egg donor would do that part. (Also, the egg donor will be younger and will be more likely to produce more genetically normal embies, which is an added benefit considering your age). If you then have those donor egg embies frozen, and plan on an FET instead of a fresh transfer, you will not need to take meds to align your cycle with the donor for transfer either. (In a fresh transfer with a donor, both the donor and the recipient must take meds so their cycles align. But, if you do FET, you don't need to do that.) Anyway, I think if you asked Dr. Gordon about doing a natural or minimal meds FET with an egg donor, he will be able to tell you if you are a good candidate.

And I agree with the other PP. An RE who thinks there's nothing "unusual" about a 40 year old woman who isn't getting pregnant after two years, even after a previous successful pregnancy, is... surprising. This is secondary infertility, pretty much by definition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't sound that unusual-- sounds like classic secondary infertility.

Came to post the same thing. I posted earlier in the thread -- got pregnant on first try, then tried for 3 years with no success. My diagnosis is unexplained secondary infertility. I did two cycles of IVF and am currently pregnant. We didn't want to do more than 2 cycles. I didn't experience too many side effects from the meds though I understand everyone reacts differently.

+2. Seems perfectly normal, although obviously sad. The meds were never bad for me - 3 kids by IVF, and I'm a giant wuss.

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't sound that unusual-- sounds like classic secondary infertility.

Came to post the same thing. I posted earlier in the thread -- got pregnant on first try, then tried for 3 years with no success. My diagnosis is unexplained secondary infertility. I did two cycles of IVF and am currently pregnant. We didn't want to do more than 2 cycles. I didn't experience too many side effects from the meds though I understand everyone reacts differently.

Doesn't sound that unusual-- sounds like classic secondary infertility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am already seeing an RE (I have gone to see 3 for a second opinion) including the DOR expert at Cornell who told me he does not think I have DOR despite my .4 AMH because my AFC is so high and my FSH is normal. Another RE agreed with him and both diagnosed me as "unexplained." Shady Grove believes I am DOR however.

I am not willing to do more than one IVF because I already have a child and I'm not willing to put myself though all the side effects. I've already done IUIs with Follistim and they were very challenging for me due to the side effects (i.e. for example I grew huge uterine polyps after each one and had to have these removed). I also only produced 2 eggs on the max doses of Follistim which is not good. I have made dietary changes and am on supplements. We have now done 26 cycles of timed intercourse that have all resulted in no pregnancy.

It seems that your best chance of getting pregnant, then, is IVF with a donor egg. If you do natural cycle IVF with a donor egg FET you can minimize your exposure to meds. If you aren't comfortable with that idea, then just toss your birth control and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then you have your answer. Have you spoken with any REs about natural cycle IVF?

OP here. I have not used birth control at all since I got pregnant with my son (he's not even 3 years old). We have been TTC #2 for 26 cycles of timed intercourse, never got pregnant even once. The only time I was ever pregnant was with my son. I did speak to Dr. Gordon at Dominion about natural cycle IVF and he said he wouldn't recommend it for me due to my low AMH. I am not keen on the idea of donor egg but what would a donor egg FET with minimal meds be like?

Why do you keep repeating this?!?! Who cares? Sounds like you need IVF.

I am 31 and had sex for four years and never got pregnant! IVF worked on the first try.

Why do you keep harping on the meds? You take the meds for like 10 days! Just deal with it if you want another kid.

OP here. The reason I mention that it's been 26 cycles with zero pregnancy is that all the REs I've seen say my situation is "unusual"--history of being pregnant on the first try with my son, then TTC for 2 years and nothing, not a single pregnancy, and "unexplained infertility," all within a span of less than 3 years. REs have not discouraged me from trying IVF, but they've been frank that my chances of success are very low. I'm just wondering if I will ever be pregnant again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am already seeing an RE (I have gone to see 3 for a second opinion) including the DOR expert at Cornell who told me he does not think I have DOR despite my .4 AMH because my AFC is so high and my FSH is normal. Another RE agreed with him and both diagnosed me as "unexplained." Shady Grove believes I am DOR however.

I am not willing to do more than one IVF because I already have a child and I'm not willing to put myself though all the side effects. I've already done IUIs with Follistim and they were very challenging for me due to the side effects (i.e. for example I grew huge uterine polyps after each one and had to have these removed). I also only produced 2 eggs on the max doses of Follistim which is not good. I have made dietary changes and am on supplements. We have now done 26 cycles of timed intercourse that have all resulted in no pregnancy.

It seems that your best chance of getting pregnant, then, is IVF with a donor egg. If you do natural cycle IVF with a donor egg FET you can minimize your exposure to meds. If you aren't comfortable with that idea, then just toss your birth control and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then you have your answer. Have you spoken with any REs about natural cycle IVF?

OP here. I have not used birth control at all since I got pregnant with my son (he's not even 3 years old). We have been TTC #2 for 26 cycles of timed intercourse, never got pregnant even once. The only time I was ever pregnant was with my son. I did speak to Dr. Gordon at Dominion about natural cycle IVF and he said he wouldn't recommend it for me due to my low AMH. I am not keen on the idea of donor egg but what would a donor egg FET with minimal meds be like?

Why do you keep repeating this?!?! Who cares? Sounds like you need IVF.

I am 31 and had sex for four years and never got pregnant! IVF worked on the first try.

Why do you keep harping on the meds? You take the meds for like 10 days! Just deal with it if you want another kid.