Anonymous wrote:Are you the same poster whose fiancé bought a BMW that he couldn't afford and refuses to sell the car? I seem to remember a universal recommendation not to marry this guy. If so, why did you move out of your subsidized (affordable) apartment? Out of the frying pan and into the fire!

If that is true (meaning, that is the OP), good catch!!!

Why don't people stop wailing on her and just say, get out and don't marry him? Some of you would break if you were attacked and mocked for posting a sincere issue. You're gross, hateful and need to grow UP. She's scared and miserable - help her for God's sake! And I KNOW you know it's absolutely cruel to hammer her on the fact that they have a kid. Half of the successful people you know are from split homes. Shut UP and stop raining down on her, and adding to her fears. You all are sh*t characters.

OP: do not go through with the marriage. Start with a low-cost counselor, by yourself, and make a plan about where you can stay and continue working hard to save money by yourself. Through your psychologist or LCSW, meet a free financial counselor, have them go through your credit and start building. You're a mom. You can do this. Do you know how many moms have sent a kid to school with a spot on their kid's clothes? It's got to be near 95%. Your disorganization can be cured, and your future can be bright, no matter how old you are. You can build self-esteem, and love yourself, and make it possible to find a better man. Your fiance can be a good dad without you living in one household. But. Your fiance probably cannot stop being cold, critical, controlling and scary mean. Please do not get married. Please.