Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

I'm the OP. Music is different. Theater is different. The arts, in general, are different.

We are a family that values music a lot, and sinks as much money into it as many parents do for sports. And my kids could not be less sporty. And I am going to disagree. We have no belief that our kids will be professional musicians, go to Julliard, etc.. My strings player will almost certainly not be YoYo Ma. But, it still has value. The kids have band and orchestra friends. They learn a lot about patience and perseverance and working with a group. They study hard-- and a lot, and I like that they have one class period where they get balance. Hopefully, they will appreciate music, and play music recreationally for life. And yes, it rounds out college applications. Which are a lot of the same reasons kids play sports. But I don't think my kids' music has more intrinsic value, for them or society, than sports. Or that sports are more valuable than the arts. It depends on the kid, their talents and the family-- but kids can get a lot of value out of either.

My kids don't play travel sports nor are they in any of the competitive, try out orchestras, but I have no issues with kids who pursue those passions! My kids fall in the camp of wanting to play their preferred sports more than rec sports permits, but with much less intensity and skill than the travel level. So what works for them is MSI's classic level soccer and BCC's select level baseball. They also enjoy playing their respective instruments, but are satisfied with their school band. The only part of the high level competitive sports/music/whatever that I don't "get" is the part where the parents/rest of family wrap themselves into planning entire weekends around regular out of town competitions, especially when most likely there are just as good teams to be playing in NoVa if you are in MoCo, or Baltimore, etc - instead of driving the NJ for the weekend . Seems to me that if the kids want that level of involvement/commitment then that is great, but I don't want my whole family's weekend memories to be on the sidelines of child #1's soccer games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bored / delusional parents living through their kids.

Is that a joke? Spoken like someone who won't give their kids eye contact even? Music parents, sports parents, etc sacrifice a lot (time, $$, energy). Sacrificing to let them have opportunities that I didn't have. If you missed that point, I can't help you.

Would love to have the luxury of the boredom. Hardly keeping this up because I'm bored. Bored would be great. But I am prioritizing my kid and their activities over my own comfort and convenience. One could make the argument that parents who don't put their kids first are not mature. Hopefully they figure that out for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A) Some parents really need an "identity"- this is why you get "Baseball Mom," "Girl Scouts Mom," or "Cheerleading Mom." They derive a sense of purpose and identity from the activity that their child participates in and this reinforces that.

B) A lot of parents want to believe that their kids are really, really good at something. Being on an expensive "elite" league will do that for some parents.

C) A few are actually deluded into thinking this will get their kid noticed by colleges/the pros.

LOL. Literally as I read this, a kid who played for my kid's travel organization several years ago was on screen in the college basketball game I was watching on TV. Meanwhile, several of his friends are starting to get letters from college coaches, and one has offers from an Ivy and two D1 powerhouse programs. That likely won't be my kid, but it's not that rare.

True. And same for music. Kids ARE getting scholarships, and getting picked for exclusive schools over nonmusicians/nonathletes/etc. So, go on and defend those video games people if you want to, I don't mind either way. But don't make it out like high achieving kids are getting nowhere. It's the parent who denies that fact who is actually the one with the "identity" issue.

Anonymous wrote:A) Some parents really need an "identity"- this is why you get "Baseball Mom," "Girl Scouts Mom," or "Cheerleading Mom." They derive a sense of purpose and identity from the activity that their child participates in and this reinforces that.

B) A lot of parents want to believe that their kids are really, really good at something. Being on an expensive "elite" league will do that for some parents.

C) A few are actually deluded into thinking this will get their kid noticed by colleges/the pros.

LOL. Literally as I read this, a kid who played for my kid's travel organization several years ago was on screen in the college basketball game I was watching on TV. Meanwhile, several of his friends are starting to get letters from college coaches, and one has offers from an Ivy and two D1 powerhouse programs. That likely won't be my kid, but it's not that rare.

Anonymous wrote:Im glad they do travel. My kids play rec and thr few kids that olay both rec and travel really dominate the game and that means less play time for my kids. For instance, last night, we lost our basketball game 52-26. There was ONE kid on the opposing team who scored 30 of those points. He is also on a travel team. He really shouldn't be playing rec for the sake of the kids with normal athletic skill.

Honestly, your scenario sounds like there is a coaching problem too. The "dominate" player would benefit from playing other positions or working on passing, maybe not just shooting.

Im glad they do travel. My kids play rec and thr few kids that olay both rec and travel really dominate the game and that means less play time for my kids. For instance, last night, we lost our basketball game 52-26. There was ONE kid on the opposing team who scored 30 of those points. He is also on a travel team. He really shouldn't be playing rec for the sake of the kids with normal athletic skill.

Anonymous wrote:Bored / delusional parents living through their kids.

Is that a joke? Spoken like someone who won't give their kids eye contact even? Music parents, sports parents, etc sacrifice a lot (time, $$, energy). Sacrificing to let them have opportunities that I didn't have. If you missed that point, I can't help you.

My kid is on one of those travel teams with the whole Junior Olympics bit and all. It's ok, but I do think it's ridiculously overpriced. Most of the kids are mediocre and a few are great. One of the great ones has a shoulder overuse injury at 11 and the parents were encouraging the child to play injured even as the coach was not.

My kid will probably stick with it another season or tow. She's just not that into it, but does it for the social aspect and we like the physical fitness aspect. I'm over all of the time sucking tournaments.

I see OP's point to an extent, but we're not really sports types anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

A music mom here. I can't agree that it equates perfectly as pp does. The music is more of a life skill/trade or such than soccer. But yes, we are commiting time/effort just the same.

I did music as a kid and what I see is that from my former peers, those who did athletics are more likely to carry it into their adult lives than those who did music. If anything, I'd think that proficiency in athletics has a broader life-long impact. I agree with you as far as commitment, effort, and cost, though.

People who play instruments are generally intelligent, so they're more likely to care about their health and fitness as adults. Further, anyone can pick up swimming or jogging later in life. But washed up athletes can't really pick up an instrument later in life.

Lol ok music mom
The flute is not that life altering

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

A music mom here. I can't agree that it equates perfectly as pp does. The music is more of a life skill/trade or such than soccer. But yes, we are commiting time/effort just the same.

I did music as a kid and what I see is that from my former peers, those who did athletics are more likely to carry it into their adult lives than those who did music. If anything, I'd think that proficiency in athletics has a broader life-long impact. I agree with you as far as commitment, effort, and cost, though.

People who play instruments are generally intelligent, so they're more likely to care about their health and fitness as adults. Further, anyone can pick up swimming or jogging later in life. But washed up athletes can't really pick up an instrument later in life.

You just sound desperate at this point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

A music mom here. I can't agree that it equates perfectly as pp does. The music is more of a life skill/trade or such than soccer. But yes, we are commiting time/effort just the same.

I did music as a kid and what I see is that from my former peers, those who did athletics are more likely to carry it into their adult lives than those who did music. If anything, I'd think that proficiency in athletics has a broader life-long impact. I agree with you as far as commitment, effort, and cost, though.

People who play instruments are generally intelligent, so they're more likely to care about their health and fitness as adults. Further, anyone can pick up swimming or jogging later in life. But washed up athletes can't really pick up an instrument later in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

A music mom here. I can't agree that it equates perfectly as pp does. The music is more of a life skill/trade or such than soccer. But yes, we are commiting time/effort just the same.

I did music as a kid and what I see is that from my former peers, those who did athletics are more likely to carry it into their adult lives than those who did music. If anything, I'd think that proficiency in athletics has a broader life-long impact. I agree with you as far as commitment, effort, and cost, though.

Cross country and piano >

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Perhaps they want something you don't?

We're not sporty but musical, and I took pains to choose a teaching method that would suit us as well as a great teacher. It's VERY expensive, but the difference in quality of teaching is incredible. However, non-musical parents probably wouldn't care.

So the rec tier is perhaps just for the families who want to occupy their children and have fun doing an activity they like. The upper tier is for families who care about becoming as proficient as possible in that particular sport (or in our case, music).

A music mom here. I can't agree that it equates perfectly as pp does. The music is more of a life skill/trade or such than soccer. But yes, we are commiting time/effort just the same.

Why do you see it as different? Being athletic and fit is as much a life skill as music, maybe more so because someone who builds a healthy body in youth and continues to engage in athletics as an adult is likely to be healthier than someone who is more sedentary.

Most of the former high school "studs" are washed up and fat by age 19.

But that's not who we're talking about, we're talking about athletes who are building the same life skills that musicians are. In my own personal experience and that of watching my kids and their friends who are adults now, most of the kids who were athletic in high school have stayed fit and participate in some kind of athletic activity as adults.

High school athletes might not engage in the same sport when they are adults, but most of the ones I have known still do something athletic. Some run, some swim, some go to the gym and take yoga and dance classes. There are lots of ways to be athletic and fit as an adult and adults who were athletic as kids tend to continue to be so.