How long have you been broken up? Do you think he's accomodating your outbursts because he feels guilty? Don't mistake pity for caring. You may get a bit of a charge out of thinking he cares but ultimately it's useless- he's never going to be able to do anything to make you feel well and truly better. Only you can provide that for yourself. Talking to a therapist to get a different perspective is a great idea, good luck!

I recommend reading about co-dependency and get therapy also to break out of it.

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Thank you everyone so much for your posts (most of them) I really do appreciate it and honestly will make an appointment with a therapist sometime this week

OP, I have been where you are in terms of coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship and wanting to get some kind of apology.

The thing is that an abuser is by definition not someone who is thinking rationally or operating in a normal, emotionally healthy way.

What you want -- an apology for bad behavior -- is reasonable. Unfortunately, it is not a reasonable expectation to get an apology from an abuser/emotionally unhealthy person. You are not going to get an explanation from an abusive/emotionally unhealthy person, no matter how mad you get and no matter how many times you try to him that what he did was wrong and you deserve an apology. You are expecting rational/healthy behavior from someone who is not rational/healthy.

I'm glad you are going to see a therapist. You definitely need some help setting boundaries, so you don't get in this situation again. You need to explore why you didn't recognize and walk away from early signs of abuse. You need to explore why it is so important for you to get an apology? Have you somehow bought into the common tactic of the abuser who blames the partner for the abuse. Have you been subject to gas lighting for so long you have lost your frame of reference for what is real and normal? What romantic myths are you buying into that caused you to accept this relationship for so long? (Love is "hard". True love is "dramatic". I have to give someone I love another chance. He says he loves me, even though he does these mean things.) Why would you want to be friends with someone who was abusive to you? Why would you want to stay in contact with someone who is abusive?

Find a therapist that is experienced with domestic abuse, block your Ex, and start to heal yourself.

Commit to not dating for at least a year or two.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

He doesn't owe you anything, you're broken up. It doesn't matter how he broke up with you. You just want an apology...doesn't mean you are owed one.

block him...It doesn't matter if your not ready, you have to do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

Nope. He needs a restraining order against your brand of crazy

x a million

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

Nope. He needs a restraining order against your brand of crazy

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Thank you everyone so much for your posts (most of them) I really do appreciate it and honestly will make an appointment with a therapist sometime this week

Glad to hear it, OP. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Compassion and empathy for batshit crazy behavior?! You won't find that here on DCUM or anywhere else. You're being the epitome of a psychotic ex. Grow up and block him. Soon enough, he'll block you, and you'll go even crazier so please seek therapy ASAP.

Why is it that crazy though? I'm finally telling him everything I held back during our relationship- years of being emotionally and mentally abused. He keeps entertaining it as well, he responds and usually calls.

Why rehash negative situations?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Insane behavior doesn't warrant compassion and empathy. Move on, psycho

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's crazy because it doesn't matter now. He's not your boyfriend, he's your EX. What you held back, he doesn't give a shit about. So you're not doing anything to educate him on what he did wrong and you're not doing anything that will help salvage a relationship BECAUSE YOU ARE NO LONGER IN ONE. He owes you nothing. Not an apology. Not an explanation. NOT. ONE. THING. If he's responding, he's just playing you, and you're playing into it. You're allowing him to drive you even crazier than you already are. Your behavior is pathetic. Your attitude towards it is even more pathetic. And it makes sense now that he's your ex. Who'd want to be with someone like this? Get a grip, OP, and give yourself a reality check before a restraining order gives you one.

He does owe me an apology that's where you're wrong. The things he did to me and the way he ended it, he can't apologize enough

Accept the things you cannot change, OP, and you'll be happier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then what advice do you want? You either block him or continue your insane behavior. Get a therapist.

I want some compassion and empathy. I know what I'm doing isn't good or normal but if anyone can relate I'd like to hear from them.

Compassion and empathy for batshit crazy behavior?! You won't find that here on DCUM or anywhere else. You're being the epitome of a psychotic ex. Grow up and block him. Soon enough, he'll block you, and you'll go even crazier so please seek therapy ASAP.

Why is it that crazy though? I'm finally telling him everything I held back during our relationship- years of being emotionally and mentally abused. He keeps entertaining it as well, he responds and usually calls.

So, it's clear you two have an unhealthy relationship. One of you has to be the grown up and stop feeding it. Seriously, OP, you're acting like Donald Trump. Do you want to be like Donald Trump?

"Can't" is for fools. You have the technology to block your ex but you refuse.

Compassion and empathy start with effort on your end. It's a minor effort.

Best of luck OP. So hard to do but you will find that strength and self control!

OP back. Thank you everyone so much for your posts (most of them) I really do appreciate it and honestly will make an appointment with a therapist sometime this week