Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 17:51     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
OP, the truth is there is no magic answer.
People want to act like there is but there isn't.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:54     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:I bet op is girl B


Ding ding ding!
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:51     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.


uhh is this rocket science? Conventionally attractive people get more marriage offers.


The attractive girls do get snatched up quickly.

Friend B is very pretty. I'd say her face is classically beautiful and she turns heads when she enters a room. I'm surprised she was single until 24. She did get a lot of attention but she held out until she found the perfect package. I am truly amazed. I have seen many friends date a couple of frogs before finding their prince. She seems to have gotten it right at the first try. She is so wholesome but also is so funny. She has no vices that I can think of and does everything in moderation. Wears crop tops to go party, only once or twice a month but has a great time when she does. Usually she has minimal makeup and preppy outfits walking around with her puppy. She doesn't party to much, drink too much, or has any off putting behavior that you can think of. Amazing.



I have friends that never played the field waiting for the perfect prince to come along who are attractive and good women who are now panicking at 33 wondering if they'll ever get married and have kids. Friend B got lucky, good for her, but don't act like sitting alone in a tower waiting for prince charming is a realistic marriage strategy for everyone.

In fact glorifying this weird idea that men go through all the slutty girls and then find a 'good girl' who kept her morals about her to marry is kind of ridiculous and reductive. Obviously it isn't that healthy to let a whole bunch of men use you for sex, but dating a lot does not make a girl 'damaged goods' or anything. And the idea that the only marriage material girls are the ones who are sitting around all proper at 30 waiting for the crazy men folk to settle down is like...i mean its not 1950 you know?


+1. I have two classically beautiful, preppy, modest, sweet, well educated, ladylike, nonpartying friends with great careers who are still single at 50+. Never married or had kids. Your friend B got lucky. Not everyone is.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:49     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.


uhh is this rocket science? Conventionally attractive people get more marriage offers.


The attractive girls do get snatched up quickly.

Friend B is very pretty. I'd say her face is classically beautiful and she turns heads when she enters a room. I'm surprised she was single until 24. She did get a lot of attention but she held out until she found the perfect package. I am truly amazed. I have seen many friends date a couple of frogs before finding their prince. She seems to have gotten it right at the first try. She is so wholesome but also is so funny. She has no vices that I can think of and does everything in moderation. Wears crop tops to go party, only once or twice a month but has a great time when she does. Usually she has minimal makeup and preppy outfits walking around with her puppy. She doesn't party to much, drink too much, or has any off putting behavior that you can think of. Amazing.



I have friends that never played the field waiting for the perfect prince to come along who are attractive and good women who are now panicking at 33 wondering if they'll ever get married and have kids. Friend B got lucky, good for her, but don't act like sitting alone in a tower waiting for prince charming is a realistic marriage strategy for everyone.

In fact glorifying this weird idea that men go through all the slutty girls and then find a 'good girl' who kept her morals about her to marry is kind of ridiculous and reductive. Obviously it isn't that healthy to let a whole bunch of men use you for sex, but dating a lot does not make a girl 'damaged goods' or anything. And the idea that the only marriage material girls are the ones who are sitting around all proper at 30 waiting for the crazy men folk to settle down is like...i mean its not 1950 you know?


I understand pp. I'm fascinated by her story because hers is such an anomaly. Our friends would nudge her to let her hair loose and date around and give these guys who are interested a chance. No one was ever good enough for her. We would tell her that everyone has bad first few dating experiences and over time you meet your right person. Each of us have had our fair share of bad boyfriends, being dumped, boys who didn't pay for dinner, boys who wouldn't take us out on dates, boys who wouldn't cal etc. Its amazing how her guy turned out to be perfect from the start. I'm slightly jealous but mostly amazed at her good luck.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:45     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
I know a friend A. In my friend A's case, it's all an act. She has low self esteem and goes for loser guys because she doesn't think she's worthy of the good ones. They end up disappointing her and she can say she never really liked him that much anyway. Then she can complain about how terrible men are in general. She pushes men away from the first moment. Unless all they want is sex.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:43     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.


uhh is this rocket science? Conventionally attractive people get more marriage offers.


The attractive girls do get snatched up quickly.

Friend B is very pretty. I'd say her face is classically beautiful and she turns heads when she enters a room. I'm surprised she was single until 24. She did get a lot of attention but she held out until she found the perfect package. I am truly amazed. I have seen many friends date a couple of frogs before finding their prince. She seems to have gotten it right at the first try. She is so wholesome but also is so funny. She has no vices that I can think of and does everything in moderation. Wears crop tops to go party, only once or twice a month but has a great time when she does. Usually she has minimal makeup and preppy outfits walking around with her puppy. She doesn't party to much, drink too much, or has any off putting behavior that you can think of. Amazing.



I have friends that never played the field waiting for the perfect prince to come along who are attractive and good women who are now panicking at 33 wondering if they'll ever get married and have kids. Friend B got lucky, good for her, but don't act like sitting alone in a tower waiting for prince charming is a realistic marriage strategy for everyone.

In fact glorifying this weird idea that men go through all the slutty girls and then find a 'good girl' who kept her morals about her to marry is kind of ridiculous and reductive. Obviously it isn't that healthy to let a whole bunch of men use you for sex, but dating a lot does not make a girl 'damaged goods' or anything. And the idea that the only marriage material girls are the ones who are sitting around all proper at 30 waiting for the crazy men folk to settle down is like...i mean its not 1950 you know?
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:35     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.


uhh is this rocket science? Conventionally attractive people get more marriage offers.


The attractive girls do get snatched up quickly.

Friend B is very pretty. I'd say her face is classically beautiful and she turns heads when she enters a room. I'm surprised she was single until 24. She did get a lot of attention but she held out until she found the perfect package. I am truly amazed. I have seen many friends date a couple of frogs before finding their prince. She seems to have gotten it right at the first try. She is so wholesome but also is so funny. She has no vices that I can think of and does everything in moderation. Wears crop tops to go party, only once or twice a month but has a great time when she does. Usually she has minimal makeup and preppy outfits walking around with her puppy. She doesn't party to much, drink too much, or has any off putting behavior that you can think of. Amazing.

Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:13     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Girl b sounds like a low sex drive/sex is gross train wreck. I feel sorry for the guy she is dating and hope she remains single.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:07     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.


uhh is this rocket science? Conventionally attractive people get more marriage offers.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:06     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:I have two friends.

Friend A is moderately attractive UMC girl with a curvy physique, loud and crude sense of humor, loves to party and wear revealing clothes. She gets tons of one night stands but never seems to be able to keep a good guy. She isn't a bad girlfriend; her past boyfriend was a sociopath who lied and emotionally abused her. The good "normal" guys she wants only sleep with her and then dump her. She is so sad being single.

Friend B is a very attractive brunette with a good sense of humor and sweet smile. She is a nanny and works in sales. She parties occasionally, hangs out with her parents a lot and dresses very preppy. She never had a boyfriend through high school and college because she always thought all the guys who hit on her were "gross." She would get a lot of attention but never reciprocate. Last year, she met this really great guy and they've been inseparable since. It's only been a year and they're already talking marriage.

What is going on here. Why is one friend so desirable and the other keeps getting dumped?


Guy here - Friend B is the type of girl i've gone for since junior high.

Friend B sounds awesome. I'd love to meet a Friend B.

Friend A is nasty and not wife or mother material. If I had a daughter with friend a, said daughter would blowing dudes in 8th grade after bball games. no way. plus 'curvy' ages poorly - too much T&A sags. It looks good when you are 19 but not at 39.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 16:01     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?


She isn't conventionally attractive like friend B. She is still not ugly and can be very attractive when dressed up/makeup.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 15:25     Subject: Re:Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.

Interesting responses. Friend A is very attractive and openly suggestive. She also seems to pick the weird guys. Her ex was a jobless loser who lied to her and mooched off her for years. She is drawn to flawed people maybe because she thinks she can't do better? It isn't true. Good guys have also been attracted to her but she always ruins those relationships.




First you said she is moderately attractive. Now you say she's very attractive. Which is it?
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 15:25     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
And just to add to this - you asked why some people have an easy time dating. Well, it doesn't sound like Friend B had such an easy time. She dated no one, then married the first guy she could bother with.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 15:22     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
Anonymous wrote:It's all luck. What you say is her ruining relationships with 'good guys' could be her not loving those guys. No one knows what is going on in a relationship other than the people in it.

As I've gotten older I've become more and more convinced that its mostly luck whether or not you meet 'your person.' As long as friend a is getting out there and giving people a shot then she's living her life and you shouldn't think less or more of her. Sounds like friend b got REALLY lucky, which is great for her. But it doesn't make her better or worse than friend a.


+1 to this, with another possible explanation:

Friend A is more outgoing. She is willing to give more guys a shot, even when the relationship doesn't have much of a chance of being serious. So that means she's likely to get involved with more guys, which means more relationships won't work out. Friend B is reserved, which means she's only going to date a guy if she thinks that there is a good chance of the relationship leading to marriage.

I was more like Friend A (and am married now, to a man who adores me, whom I adore - who also had a similar past). And I sure as hell hope that my friends weren't posting on message boards wondering what was wrong with me. We all have different ways of experiencing the world - stop judging your friend for being curvy and willing to date guys who aren't already ring shopping.
Anonymous
Post 12/06/2016 15:03     Subject: Why do some people have an easy time dating while others do not?
It's all luck. What you say is her ruining relationships with 'good guys' could be her not loving those guys. No one knows what is going on in a relationship other than the people in it.

As I've gotten older I've become more and more convinced that its mostly luck whether or not you meet 'your person.' As long as friend a is getting out there and giving people a shot then she's living her life and you shouldn't think less or more of her. Sounds like friend b got REALLY lucky, which is great for her. But it doesn't make her better or worse than friend a.