Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

OP, what are you bringing to the table? Is your family wealthy? If not, I'd want nothing to do with you since clearly you have no plans to contribute to the family income. I hustled my a** off so I could secure a high paying job and, eventually, raise my children in better circumstances than I had growing up. Trust me, there are plenty of pretty faces and toned bodies who also share similar career ambitions. You'll find someone, but remember that you married a sucker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

This has been a big change over the last 30 years. Doctors want to marry doctors, lawyers want to marry lawyers.

This is def. not necessarily true. I know a few female doctors who had a tough time finding partners since many of the men wanted SAHM types. Although, I have noticed that many of them have ended up with other MDs, it seems like about 50/50.

Statistically speaking, it is true. Your anecdotal observations are not data. The data tell us that men don't "marry down" anymore.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/13/world/europe/13iht-letter13.html?smprod=nytcore-ipad&smid=nytcore-ipad-share

+1

Men don't want someone less educated and less accomplished, OP. Not long term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

+1

Anonymous wrote:When you were 22 and in a slac or 25 and in law school. At 30 id look for the divorced or about to be divorced guys.

But then you get the divorced guy's ex wife, paying her (half plus), and the baggage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

This has been a big change over the last 30 years. Doctors want to marry doctors, lawyers want to marry lawyers.

This is def. not necessarily true. I know a few female doctors who had a tough time finding partners since many of the men wanted SAHM types. Although, I have noticed that many of them have ended up with other MDs, it seems like about 50/50.

Statistically speaking, it is true. Your anecdotal observations are not data. The data tell us that men don't "marry down" anymore.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/13/world/europe/13iht-letter13.html?smprod=nytcore-ipad&smid=nytcore-ipad-share

Anonymous wrote:Be careful what you wish for, since that's your primary focus you'll get the guy but you can't complain years lately that he is a horrible unhelpful father and doesn't help with the kids, any household work other than paying the bills.Even worse when he cheats and you can't leave because you don't have any income and always thought it will never happen to you because you are special.

+1

And when he decides he wants a divorce and OP has a couple of years to go from unemployable to single mom breadwinner.

A man is not a plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

This has been a big change over the last 30 years. Doctors want to marry doctors, lawyers want to marry lawyers.

This is def. not necessarily true. I know a few female doctors who had a tough time finding partners since many of the men wanted SAHM types. Although, I have noticed that many of them have ended up with other MDs, it seems like about 50/50.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

Not me. I'd love a traditional wife with a division of responsibilities.

Ooooo you and OP should meet up and let us know how it goes!!!

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Anonymous wrote:Be careful what you wish for, since that's your primary focus you'll get the guy but you can't complain years lately that he is a horrible unhelpful father and doesn't help with the kids, any household work other than paying the bills.Even worse when he cheats and you can't leave because you don't have any income and always thought it will never happen to you because you are special.

I was just going to say this. I wish at 25 I was looking for a family oriented man.

I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

Not me. I'd love a traditional wife with a division of responsibilities.

Ugh. 80% of your kids' intelligence is inherited from the mom. Pick smart.

Who says smart cannot love division of responsibilities? I am smart and would have loved to stay home until my kids are teens(with my current average income DH who is the love of my life), but I messed up and got a very expensive degree that I have to work to pay for.

If I could go back in time, I would have taken my full ride scholarship from a top public school instead of the Ivy debt. But I did not know that I wanted to stay home with my kids until I had them.

You will be trashed by DCUMers. Don't buy it. Don't settle.