Anonymous wrote:We didn't let our ILs watch the kids unsupervised for similar reasons until they were much older. Now that they are 6 and 9 they can stay with them for a couple hours if we go out to dinner but that's about it. We trust our children's judgment more than theirs and we would not leave them for an overnight or full day.

I have a feeling ILs will never have an overnight. I'm not comfortable at all with the idea.

We didn't let our ILs watch the kids unsupervised for similar reasons until they were much older. Now that they are 6 and 9 they can stay with them for a couple hours if we go out to dinner but that's about it. We trust our children's judgment more than theirs and we would not leave them for an overnight or full day.

Are the MIL and SIL a package deal? Why are they always together in these situations? The SIL acts like she is 13, and MIL seems to be trying to get a rise out of you, OP. Set your boundaries, you are the parent, you get to set the rules.

These stupid, ignorant and aggressive relatives are a danger to OP's baby. They should be allowed to interact with the baby only when supervised, and OP should not hesitate to physically stop anyone doing the potentially dangerous things she described, such as taking the spoonful of ice cream from SIL's hand, or closing the talc if opened and throwing it in the trash. Who cares what they think? A firm hand at the rudder is needed here, in the baby's interest.

"The American Academy of Pediatrics points out that baby powder can cause breathing trouble and serious lung damage for babies if they inhale the particles. (And it's hard to keep powder out of the air when you're using it.) This is especially true of talc-based powders, with their small, easily inhaled particles."

Oh god, I got angry just reading that. It's not okay for them to cross the parenting boundaries with you and your spouse.

I would let them not talk to me ever again.

^Obviously I meant 2mo, not 2yo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely not! Grandparents are there to provide another loving adult that children can bond with and learn from. Grandparents are NOT there to undermine the parents.

I did not say undermine. grandparents are there to be loving adults, which can include the occasional spoiling...

F me....mashed potatoes are now solid foods... for the love of god....

Current pediatrician recommendations are only breastmilk or formula for the first six months. Giving a 5yo a cookie is a cute little grandma spoiler, cramming mashed potatoes into the mouth of a 2yo who doesn't know any different isn't spoiling, it's going against standard medical advice in exchange for some weird thrill of getting one over on the mother.

Anonymous wrote:They should respect your wishes, however, you sound like a psycho.

No she doesn't, you freak.

They should respect your wishes, however, you sound like a psycho.

OP here.. my problem is they specifically told me I had no say. Baby powder is dangerous. My child is lactose intolerant hince the ice cream. She also didn't even want the mashed potatoes. Why do people enjoy cramming food down tiny infants so they can watch them eat? Weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will just get worse the older your kids get. They'll be sneaking them candy bars and whatnot.

Honestly though isn't this what grand parents and aunts are supposed to do. Spoil their grand-kids and nieces/nephews...

WTF is wrong with ice cream(frozen milk) mashed potates(isn't baby food soft)
baby powder (as long as they are putting clouds of powder around the kid)

I am a grandmother and would never go against my son or DIL's wishes. But I would internally roll my eyes. I raised five healthy children without any problem. A little ice cream or mashed potatoes is not going to hurt a four month old. At four months my kids were eating cereal, fruit, eggs, and vegetables. The baby powder might concern me more. I would just ask her to put it on her own hands before putting on the baby.

But again, I do exactly what my son and DIL ask because they are the parents.

PP, you nailed it. You raised your five kids. You had your chance to call the shots. And I bet when you did, you resented people telling you how to parent, and I bet they were internally rolling their eyes. And so it goes.

Honestly, I think that's why I am a pretty good MIL and Grammy and have great relationships with all my adult kids. My mom never interfered. My parents do not offer advice unless we ask. My DH and I follow their example. I'm sure like me, my mother bit her tongue plenty of times. The point is that the parents get to make the decisions. Period. When you have raised five kids and have the benefit of hindsight and experience you realize that there are many, many ways to raise a healthy child. You don't need to make someone else wrong to justify your parenting decisions. But I think all grandmothers roll their eyes occasionally.

Anonymous wrote:

Absolutely not! Grandparents are there to provide another loving adult that children can bond with and learn from. Grandparents are NOT there to undermine the parents.

I did not say undermine. grandparents are there to be loving adults, which can include the occasional spoiling...

F me....mashed potatoes are now solid foods... for the love of god....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will just get worse the older your kids get. They'll be sneaking them candy bars and whatnot.

Honestly though isn't this what grand parents and aunts are supposed to do. Spoil their grand-kids and nieces/nephews...

WTF is wrong with ice cream(frozen milk) mashed potates(isn't baby food soft)
baby powder (as long as they are putting clouds of powder around the kid)

I am a grandmother and would never go against my son or DIL's wishes. But I would internally roll my eyes. I raised five healthy children without any problem. A little ice cream or mashed potatoes is not going to hurt a four month old. At four months my kids were eating cereal, fruit, eggs, and vegetables. The baby powder might concern me more. I would just ask her to put it on her own hands before putting on the baby.

But again, I do exactly what my son and DIL ask because they are the parents.

PP, you nailed it. You raised your five kids. You had your chance to call the shots. And I bet when you did, you resented people telling you how to parent, and I bet they were internally rolling their eyes. And so it goes.