Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 14:15     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
What if Thelma kept her reasons to herself and let her will speak for her? All this second-guessing is disrespectful of Thelma, who did not appear to be mentally-incapacitated or bullied into making her bequests. All the relatives are making this unnecessarily complicated and should butt out.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 14:09     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Okay, so Mary had left the house several times to start her life as an adult, but she always found her way back home. For example, she got a degree but realized she couldn't get a great job in that field. Then she went back to school (stayed with Thelma while in school) and moved away for a time because she was planning to marry a man she met a few states away. Then that fell through, Mary went back to school and got a second degree and soon realized that she didn't really like the working world. So she left the home again in order to pursue the career she wanted but it had a better market in another state. She eventually came back home and has been working as a waitress.

Larla is on her 3rd year of college. She lives with her parents as her mother was sick while she was away at school so she transferred to a local college to finish her degree. Since she returned home, her mom's coworker and child had to come live with them as well. Also a cousin of Larla's dad is staying with them as well until he gets on his feet after immigrating here.

Larla and Mary have talked. The funeral was 5 mos ago. Larla just brought up the possibility of moving to Mary this week. Larla and Mary do not get along very well and they don't really want to live together. Part of it is just difference of opinions and part is due to the age gap (Larla is in her 20s, Mary is 50s).

In the same way that it would be "shitty" for Larla to flat out kick Mary out, wouldn't it be equally as bad for her to instead charge her rent??

Of course the family has gotten wind of the situation and they feel like 1 of 4 things should happen.

1. Both women stay in their current living situations.
2. Same as 1, but Larla moves into the house once Mary decides to leave again (as she potentially may do).
3. Larla either deal with living with Mary, or kick her out/buy her out.
4. Larla sells the house out from under Mary.

No, Thelma was not incapacitated at her death. She drew up the will 5 yrs ago and did not have any medical conditions limiting her capacity. She died at 82 and was able to drive and maintain an active lifestyle (physically and socially) until her death. Thelma has always supported both of her children monetarily when they needed it and she always seems happy to be float Mary for as long as she did. She made sure that Mary got an allowance monthly for living expenses like car, clothing, and social expenses. Mary won't get the allowance anymore but now Thelma has left money to her.

And no this isn't homework, I am purposely being ambiguous with my position in relation to the family members so that I don't get biased advice.


What you haven't answered and is very important (for the story, not for the right/wrong) is - why did Thelma leave Larla the house and is Mary upset about it?

Bottom line is it's Larla's house for whatever reason, and Mary can either pay her rent (whether or not L moves in) or move somewhere else.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 14:01     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
It's Larla's house now. Hit the road, Mary.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:48     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Mary needs to move out and find a new place she can afford on her own income plus what was left to her by her mother. She is not disabled and this is what her mother intended to happen. Larla should move into the house as it is now legally hers as her godmother intended.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:35     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:I agree this is a complicated situation. I am guessing you are Mary's mother. Why the heck are co-workers living with you all (mother and child HAD to come live there? really? Had?)? That is insane. Plus all the other extended family. Too crazy, too intertwined, too up in everyone els'e business (the family's got wind of this?).

Larla should sell house and start fresh in a house of her own choosing. Or a smaller house, plus put there eat of the money aside. Maybe give Mary a few things (or the contents of the house that Mary wants) to start her own independent life.


Mary's mother is DEAD. Covered in the first post. Sounds like Thelma got tired of Mary's shit and took care of things in her own way
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:32     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I don't know the answer, but some formal and clear arrangement needs to be made regardless of who stays in the house or not.

For example, if the hot water heater breaks, who's going to pay to repair it?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:26     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
I agree this is a complicated situation. I am guessing you are Mary's mother. Why the heck are co-workers living with you all (mother and child HAD to come live there? really? Had?)? That is insane. Plus all the other extended family. Too crazy, too intertwined, too up in everyone els'e business (the family's got wind of this?).

Larla should sell house and start fresh in a house of her own choosing. Or a smaller house, plus put there eat of the money aside. Maybe give Mary a few things (or the contents of the house that Mary wants) to start her own independent life.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:20     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did Thelma screw over her own daughter like that?


Very strange story, and very, very sad.


No this isn't sad...it seems like Mary has been flighty her whole life and her mother has been paying to support her lifestyle of frivolity. It also seems like Mary thought that she was going to be supported for the rest of her life and she could do whatever she wanted and she wouldn't have to worry about it because she always be able to fall back on her mother's money. Seems like it's time for her to grow up


Still pretty crappy of the mother to set it up this way. She left it to her niece to kick Mary out of the nest instead of doing it herself? That's harsh.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 13:17     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why did Thelma screw over her own daughter like that?


Very strange story, and very, very sad.


No this isn't sad...it seems like Mary has been flighty her whole life and her mother has been paying to support her lifestyle of frivolity. It also seems like Mary thought that she was going to be supported for the rest of her life and she could do whatever she wanted and she wouldn't have to worry about it because she always be able to fall back on her mother's money. Seems like it's time for her to grow up
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 12:32     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's Larla's house, not Mary's, and Larla should feel free to do what she wants with it. I think it's selfish for Mary to expect to continue staying there, rent free. That's not how life works. Maybe I know too many Mary-types, but I don't have a lot of sympathy.

The update reinforces my feelings.


Completely agree. Also, before doing anything Larla needs to consult an attorney! She should not just
move in or let this woman continue living rent free.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 12:11     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Okay, so Mary had left the house several times to start her life as an adult, but she always found her way back home. For example, she got a degree but realized she couldn't get a great job in that field. Then she went back to school (stayed with Thelma while in school) and moved away for a time because she was planning to marry a man she met a few states away. Then that fell through, Mary went back to school and got a second degree and soon realized that she didn't really like the working world. So she left the home again in order to pursue the career she wanted but it had a better market in another state. She eventually came back home and has been working as a waitress.

Larla is on her 3rd year of college. She lives with her parents as her mother was sick while she was away at school so she transferred to a local college to finish her degree. Since she returned home, her mom's coworker and child had to come live with them as well. Also a cousin of Larla's dad is staying with them as well until he gets on his feet after immigrating here.

Larla and Mary have talked. The funeral was 5 mos ago. Larla just brought up the possibility of moving to Mary this week. Larla and Mary do not get along very well and they don't really want to live together. Part of it is just difference of opinions and part is due to the age gap (Larla is in her 20s, Mary is 50s).

In the same way that it would be "shitty" for Larla to flat out kick Mary out, wouldn't it be equally as bad for her to instead charge her rent??

Of course the family has gotten wind of the situation and they feel like 1 of 4 things should happen.

1. Both women stay in their current living situations.
2. Same as 1, but Larla moves into the house once Mary decides to leave again (as she potentially may do).
3. Larla either deal with living with Mary, or kick her out/buy her out.
4. Larla sells the house out from under Mary.

No, Thelma was not incapacitated at her death. She drew up the will 5 yrs ago and did not have any medical conditions limiting her capacity. She died at 82 and was able to drive and maintain an active lifestyle (physically and socially) until her death. Thelma has always supported both of her children monetarily when they needed it and she always seems happy to be float Mary for as long as she did. She made sure that Mary got an allowance monthly for living expenses like car, clothing, and social expenses. Mary won't get the allowance anymore but now Thelma has left money to her.

And no this isn't homework, I am purposely being ambiguous with my position in relation to the family members so that I don't get biased advice.


Do you know the reason Thelma chose a niece who has her own living parents to leave the house to? Are there other nieces and nephews, or is Larla the only one? How many siblings does Mary have?

It is really unusual to skip over one's own children to leave a family home to a more distant family member (the niece in this instance). Did Thelma owe some kind of debt to Larla's parents so that leaving the house to Larla was a way to repay that debt? (Not necessarily a money debt, but a debt of gratitude of some sort, either real or perceived.)

There has to be more to the backstory here as to why Larla was chosen to inherit the house. If the will was written five years ago, Larla was only in her mid teens at the time, so too young to even sell or buy real estate at the time the will was written.

Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 11:56     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Larla really needs legal advice, and should see a lawyer.

Another consideration is the local zoning laws and/or HOA rules - Larla may not be allowed to rent rooms to multiple non-family members.

Larla should also ask herself is she's ready to be a landlord and take on all the responsibility for a house at this point in her life. It's not just about decorating it and getting new furniture. It also involves things like taking care of broken appliances, a leaky roof or basement, mowing the lawn regularly.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 08:41     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Just sell the house. Maybe Mary received approximately the same amount of money that Larla would get for the house.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 08:40     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Anonymous wrote:Why did Thelma screw over her own daughter like that?


Very strange story, and very, very sad.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2016 08:32     Subject: Inheritance debacle. WWYD?
Umm if Larla is paying the taxes, she should get to live there. Taxes on my 3k sq ft house are $6500 a year. This would really screw Larla over if she can't live there and has to pay taxes.