Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a kid we always had Christmas at our own house and celebrated with family at a more convenient time (unless they chose to visit during Christmas). As an adult ai love that my side of the family are all clear on the fact that it doesn't have to be the official day in order for us to celebrate a holiday together. So much easier than those families I know who kove heaven and earth to be together on ONE SPECIAL DAY. We all have the freedom to celebrate at whatever date schedules and airline prices determines to be best and no one throws a fit. Give your kids the gift of low-maintenance traditions.

+1 The only sane way to do it.

+2

And Santa comes once, to wherever you are on Christmas morning. We are usually at one set of grandparents' house for Christmas, and that's where Santa comes. We exchange gifts with the other side of the family when we see them, but there is no Santa then.

Gosh no. Don't start this, it will never end and you will end up resenting the hell out of the holidays (not to mention your parents).

Alternate years or say, Xmas is at our house. You are welcome to join and don't travel to either parent for Xmas.

Recommend that you do Christmas with your father and brother. Visit your mother for New Year's weekend and she can do presents for the grandkids then. Then next year, reverse and spend Christmas with Mom and New Year's weekend with your dad. Talk to your brother and get him to visit Mom next year together.

When we were younger and my siblings had young kids, we often moved our family gathering to New Year's weekend so that they could do Christmas either at home as a nuclear family or go to their in-laws and we would have the family gathering together at New Years. Now that my nieces are all older but I have young children, we sometimes do big family gathering on Christmas/Christmas weekend but some years we don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are much older now. High school, college, and adults. We always had Christmas in our own home. It was important to me that the kids went to sleep in their own beds and woke up Christmas morning to Santa in their home. Some years we left to visit family Christmas Day after Santa. But we are always home Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

Yes OP.

Santa at home in their own beds.

Then travel to see grandparents between Christmas and new year.

3-6 year old Chriatmas is magical. What your parents are wanting sounds like your kid's holiday will suck (no offense).

Santa comes one time to your house.

Santa does not come to the grandparents houses. Those gifts are from your parents.

Another +1

I'm also a child of divorce. I get your impulses, but this is the right idea from your kids' perspective. Happily, it's also easiest for you (logistically if not emotionally). We bought a house when my oldest was just 3 and set about creating our own traditions from there. We will host anyone on Christmas morning, and drive to Christmas dinner, but Christmas Eve and Christmas morning are at home. Santa has been known to follow little children to different places if they happen to be traveling one year, but he only comes once.

Our kids grew up far away from my family so there were only two Christmases where we schlepped gifts to and from in our luggage. It was a pain. Now we visit at other times.

For our first 7 years of marriage, prior to kids, DH and I would drive all over the place to see his parents, my parents, my aunt, etc on Christmas Day. It sucked and I hated it.

The year our first child was born, I set my foot down that we would be home all day and anyone was welcome to come by. I have not left my house on Christmas Day since. Granted, that means hosting several people but I'm ok with that. You are the parent now, you make the rules, it's up to them from here on out.

Anonymous wrote:Christmas morning happens in your house, after your kids sleep in their own beds. If your parents want to be there to participate, that's great, but Santa only makes one stop per kid. Their choice.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you even consider doing this to yourself?

LOL THIS!

OP, I'm sure you are a bigger person, but I would tell my parents to go f themselves If they wanted to play family, they should have stayed married and not pass their headaches on to me

Agree! My parents are divorced as are my in laws and each side spends holidays together. Absent abusive behavior on the part of one spouse, the divorced parents need to suck it up and spend holidays together or keep their complaints about not getting to see people at holidays to themselves.

The "Santa years" are sooo short!! My Ds is 6.5, and I see hints that there are rumblings from classmates that Santa might not be real. We've probably only got a couple more years of a truly magical Christmas morning. I'm not giving that up.

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth would you even consider doing this to yourself?

LOL THIS!

OP, I'm sure you are a bigger person, but I would tell my parents to go f themselves If they wanted to play family, they should have stayed married and not pass their headaches on to me

"Well unfortunately Dad, as much as you say Christmas is at your house, we have to insist as the parents that little Jimmy has his Christmas here in his own house. We simply can't schlep his gifts to and from and still keep the Santa surprise. We'd love to see you another time if you'd like."

My parents and DH's parents are divorced & some remarried. All live very far away, requiring a plane flight. We decided when we had kids that we would not shuffle around trying to accommodate grandparents. We wanted to give the kids what we wanted to experience ourselves as kids - Christmas at our comfortable home with a stable & loving set of parents. Everyone is always invited to join us.

My Mom hates this arrangement. She had visions of hosting these huge family holiday gatherings with her grandchildren around the tree. Well, it's 6+ hours to get to her house, and we always have to rent a car. Plus, she remarried after I'd flown the nest so I don't really want to share my Christmas with some step-siblings that I barely know. So she's never going to get that packed-house Christmas that sounds wonderful to her, but tortuous to me. I hear about it all the time. Hold the line for your own sanity! You'll be giving your children memories of Christmas mornings with THEIR family.

Anonymous wrote:As a kid we always had Christmas at our own house and celebrated with family at a more convenient time (unless they chose to visit during Christmas). As an adult ai love that my side of the family are all clear on the fact that it doesn't have to be the official day in order for us to celebrate a holiday together. So much easier than those families I know who kove heaven and earth to be together on ONE SPECIAL DAY. We all have the freedom to celebrate at whatever date schedules and airline prices determines to be best and no one throws a fit. Give your kids the gift of low-maintenance traditions.

+1 The only sane way to do it.

I finally cried to my mother over her being more exciting than Santa. I told her she was so hung up on giving magical christmases that she was making Santa obsolete. I am seriously considering giving up the whole Santa thing because of her. She promised to cut back this year- but I doubt if.

As a kid we always had Christmas at our own house and celebrated with family at a more convenient time (unless they chose to visit during Christmas). As an adult ai love that my side of the family are all clear on the fact that it doesn't have to be the official day in order for us to celebrate a holiday together. So much easier than those families I know who kove heaven and earth to be together on ONE SPECIAL DAY. We all have the freedom to celebrate at whatever date schedules and airline prices determines to be best and no one throws a fit. Give your kids the gift of low-maintenance traditions.