Anonymous
Post 11/08/2016 08:14     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:I agree it's both a homophobic and sexist term. But I still say it, as a bad habit. I try to discourage my 10 year old from saying, but it's probably a losing battle so I don't lose sleep over it.


Mine haven't said it yet but I am probably exactly like this- actually with DH I'll even say it all the way "well, this sucks a big dick" Its definitely misogynist / homophobic and rooted in power dynamics but I don't expect any kid to realize that
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2016 08:12     Subject: Re:Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a gross word. My kids know not to say it around adults.


Exactly. Up there with pissed off, which is ugly. We just don't say things like that.


My high school English teacher told us that the only thing that can be pissed off is a condom.


Funny story, I had a teacher in 9th grade that freaked OUT at the use of the words "scum bag"- which was so jarring that we probably all remember it, it wasn't even directed at anyone in the class it was about someone running a Ponzi scheme in the news. We all knew it was considered vulgar but NONE of us knew the origin- which I guess means used condom?!
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2016 05:57     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
How is it homophobic?
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2016 05:26     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
It means to perform fellatio. My kids don't use the word. https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060816092212AAgleLt
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 22:45     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
I prefer my kids not to say it and even if they do when I'm not around, they know they had better not around any adults. It's crass and yes, I think of it's sexual origins when I hear it. So basically I tell my kids that if they are going to say or do something that others may find offensive, they are just going to have to own it and live with the consequences. Sometimes it's not a big deal and it's an uptight person whose opinion may not matter to them (like a random stranger in a store.) However sometimes it's a more consequential person (maybe someone who hired them to babysit and now will not ask them back) so they have to deal with the natural consequences. OP - in this case you DD may lose a friend over her word choice. It's her call whether it's worth it or not.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 22:14     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
I agree it's both a homophobic and sexist term. But I still say it, as a bad habit. I try to discourage my 10 year old from saying, but it's probably a losing battle so I don't lose sleep over it.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:31     Subject: Re:Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FFS, ladies. Lighten up while there's still time.


No, you're the one who needs to tighten up your standards for children and the way they are permitted to speak.


Serious question: why?

When I make rules for my children, the only things I disallow are either 1) things that harm another person or infringe on someone's rights, or 2) things that are against the rules of somewhere my children happen to be or an activity in which they are engaged.

I wouldn't allow my child to swear at someone, because rudeness to another person is rarely if ever needed or acceptable, but I fail to see how my kid saying that the weather, or a movie, or something "sucks" is harmful to anyone. My kid doesn't have the right to harm others, but why impose limits that don't matter? To my way of thinking there's no difference between "is horrible", "stinks", and "sucks", so I wouldn't see a reason to have a standard requiring my child to say one but not the other.


There is a ton of gray area that falls outside of your rules. I hope that works for you and is allowing you to raise courteous, respectful, well mannered children who are enjoyed and admired by their peers and the adults with whom they interact. Personally, I would worry that my kids wouldn't know how to conduct themselves with only those two guidelines for behavior.


What rule in a kid's life doesn't boil down "don't cause unnecessary harm to someone" or "follow the rules of whoever is in charge where you happen to be"? Every necessary guideline for good, ethical behavior is encapsulated under part one, not harming or infringing the rights of someone else. That is in fact the only legitimate rule or law, one which protects someone else's rights. 2 adult kids, one teen, and one elementary schooler... it's working fine so far but maybe I just got lucky.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:26     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 10yo DD just told my husband that her friends mom thinks my DD is a bad influence because she says the word "sucks". (DD's friend reported that's what her mom said). Is friends mom being too sensitive, or am I raising a cretin?


You are raising a trash talking youngster. I wouldn't welcome her friendship with my children. "Sucks," "crap" and 'oh my god' are not allowed in our house among adults or teens, much less 10 year olds.


how do you control/discipline adults?


Different poster but, I wouldn't be surprised if PP simply asks people to refrain from such language in her home, and asks anyone to leave who shows the astounding disrespect to not oblige the host's wishes in this matter. I know people who do not allow any form of even mild swearing in their home, or the phrases such as "oh my god/gosh", and that's what they do. I happen to think that it's ridiculous, but I'd also be the first person to say that it's terribly rude to swear in the home of someone who is made uncomfortable by it, and I don't know many adults who would persist in doing so.


Or she just means the parents. That was my take.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:25     Subject: Re:Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FFS, ladies. Lighten up while there's still time.


No, you're the one who needs to tighten up your standards for children and the way they are permitted to speak.


Serious question: why?

When I make rules for my children, the only things I disallow are either 1) things that harm another person or infringe on someone's rights, or 2) things that are against the rules of somewhere my children happen to be or an activity in which they are engaged.

I wouldn't allow my child to swear at someone, because rudeness to another person is rarely if ever needed or acceptable, but I fail to see how my kid saying that the weather, or a movie, or something "sucks" is harmful to anyone. My kid doesn't have the right to harm others, but why impose limits that don't matter? To my way of thinking there's no difference between "is horrible", "stinks", and "sucks", so I wouldn't see a reason to have a standard requiring my child to say one but not the other.


There is a ton of gray area that falls outside of your rules. I hope that works for you and is allowing you to raise courteous, respectful, well mannered children who are enjoyed and admired by their peers and the adults with whom they interact. Personally, I would worry that my kids wouldn't know how to conduct themselves with only those two guidelines for behavior.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:21     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:We let them say "vacuums" instead of "sucks".


That's funny, I like it. And, I bet the humor of the statement takes some of the sting out of whatever situation "vacuums". Very clever.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:20     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
We let them say "vacuums" instead of "sucks".
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:19     Subject: Re:Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FFS, ladies. Lighten up while there's still time.


No, you're the one who needs to tighten up your standards for children and the way they are permitted to speak.


Serious question: why?

When I make rules for my children, the only things I disallow are either 1) things that harm another person or infringe on someone's rights, or 2) things that are against the rules of somewhere my children happen to be or an activity in which they are engaged.

I wouldn't allow my child to swear at someone, because rudeness to another person is rarely if ever needed or acceptable, but I fail to see how my kid saying that the weather, or a movie, or something "sucks" is harmful to anyone. My kid doesn't have the right to harm others, but why impose limits that don't matter? To my way of thinking there's no difference between "is horrible", "stinks", and "sucks", so I wouldn't see a reason to have a standard requiring my child to say one but not the other.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:15     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 10yo DD just told my husband that her friends mom thinks my DD is a bad influence because she says the word "sucks". (DD's friend reported that's what her mom said). Is friends mom being too sensitive, or am I raising a cretin?


You are raising a trash talking youngster. I wouldn't welcome her friendship with my children. "Sucks," "crap" and 'oh my god' are not allowed in our house among adults or teens, much less 10 year olds.


how do you control/discipline adults?


Different poster but, I wouldn't be surprised if PP simply asks people to refrain from such language in her home, and asks anyone to leave who shows the astounding disrespect to not oblige the host's wishes in this matter. I know people who do not allow any form of even mild swearing in their home, or the phrases such as "oh my god/gosh", and that's what they do. I happen to think that it's ridiculous, but I'd also be the first person to say that it's terribly rude to swear in the home of someone who is made uncomfortable by it, and I don't know many adults who would persist in doing so.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:12     Subject: Re:Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:FFS, ladies. Lighten up while there's still time.


No, you're the one who needs to tighten up your standards for children and the way they are permitted to speak.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 20:12     Subject: Using the word "sucks"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 10yo DD just told my husband that her friends mom thinks my DD is a bad influence because she says the word "sucks". (DD's friend reported that's what her mom said). Is friends mom being too sensitive, or am I raising a cretin?


You are raising a trash talking youngster. I wouldn't welcome her friendship with my children. "Sucks," "crap" and 'oh my god' are not allowed in our house among adults or teens, much less 10 year olds.


how do you control/discipline adults?