Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 13:35     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:SIL is welfare trash. SHe barely made it out of high school and the tax payers paid her to get her AA degree after many years on welfare when she insisted she was going to be a (single) SAHM.

DH and I both have graduate degrees and successful careers. SIL used to ask DH several times a year for significant money.... "I need $XXX for snow tires. You don't want your niece to be driven around in a car with bald tires, do you."

"I need $XXX because the bank screwed up and charged me wrong so my 3 months of back car payments will bounce and they said if I don't pay them by tomorrow, they will reposes my car. "


"ExH/Niece's Dad won't pay anything towards your niece's wedding. Could you pay $35,000?"

and on
and on
and on

So yes, we have distanced ourselves from my SIL. It's always drama-filled guilt and she is always asking for something..... an air conditioner in her section 8 apartment in upstate New York because she weighs 350 lbs and anything above 70 is hot. A new computer, tires, taking her out to Red Lobster, a dog for her "anxiety." A weekend away because she hasn't had a vacation in 5 years. Pay her late cable bill. (even we don't have HBO!)

No thanks.



adding - we gave niece several thousands of dollars in savings bonds to be used for college classes - enough for a year with the promise if she got better than a 3.0 we would pay for the second year at CC. Never took a single class and I'm sure the bonds we used to buy cr@p and she has nothing to show for them. Niece now works two jobs - at Subway and TCBY but HEY, at least she works and at 22 she's not pregnant (yet).
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 13:32     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
SIL is welfare trash. SHe barely made it out of high school and the tax payers paid her to get her AA degree after many years on welfare when she insisted she was going to be a (single) SAHM.

DH and I both have graduate degrees and successful careers. SIL used to ask DH several times a year for significant money.... "I need $XXX for snow tires. You don't want your niece to be driven around in a car with bald tires, do you."

"I need $XXX because the bank screwed up and charged me wrong so my 3 months of back car payments will bounce and they said if I don't pay them by tomorrow, they will reposes my car. "


"ExH/Niece's Dad won't pay anything towards your niece's wedding. Could you pay $35,000?"

and on
and on
and on

So yes, we have distanced ourselves from my SIL. It's always drama-filled guilt and she is always asking for something..... an air conditioner in her section 8 apartment in upstate New York because she weighs 350 lbs and anything above 70 is hot. A new computer, tires, taking her out to Red Lobster, a dog for her "anxiety." A weekend away because she hasn't had a vacation in 5 years. Pay her late cable bill. (even we don't have HBO!)

No thanks.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 10:14     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
You sound like an asshole. If they are criminals, that's one thing. But they just sound like they haven't achieved much professionally, which is no reason to cut family off unless you're an asshole, which you are. They're probably better off without you and your shitty judgment.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 09:22     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
I'm one of those folks on the other end. We live around Washington with modest means and our social and family lives are clearly affected by our financial status. We can't afford to send our kids to the same private schools, join them for nice dinners on the town or go on enjoyable trips that involve airplanes and hotels. We miss you.
Anonymous
Post 11/07/2016 07:31     Subject: Re:Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:I really hope you are a troll.

If not, get help. And, move out of the DMV area. You have officially become an elitist snob.


You'd hope OP is a troll, but this attitude is all too common.
Anonymous
Post 11/06/2016 06:35     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
I was raised to think this way about half of my family. Brought up to believe my father's people were uneducated podunks who we laughed at behind their backs for their silly holiday letters and their state colleges. How could they possibly feel family pride! Now i have a child with severe special needs and it is this side of the family who is kind to her, this side of the family who invites her to family weddings and events, who treats us like we are still "family."

Be careful who you marginalize. You may end up outside the fence one day.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 15:49     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
I come from a long line of assholes and I'm the radical liberal black sheep of the family. I've chosen to do things very differently than the rest of my relatives - where I live, how I discipline my children, my religion, my diet, etc. The only members of my family I've cut out were my sister the pill abusing con artist and my cousin who turned his back on his mother while she was dying of cancer, then caused a huge scene at her funeral, and a later tantrum that he wasn't getting "his money" fast enough.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 12:29     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
OP, I don't think of my relatives as "low," but the only sibling & his wife are living a very different life than DH and I want for our family. We still love them and spend time with them -- and we also did not pick them as our children's guardian should something happen to us.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 12:14     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:My trashy family is in denial about how low they are. Trash to them is trailer park and meth. That's the worst form of trash, but there's also plenty of middle class trash whose kids never leave town, community college dummies, dead-end jobs, tattoos, and out-of-wedlock births.


I guarantee you that my service industry, dead end job (that I love and involves helping others), tattooed home has 10x the amount of books, music and love than yours. We know what actually matters in life.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 11:52     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
I was brought up to think it was "low" to abandon family.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 11:51     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:My trashy family is in denial about how low they are. Trash to them is trailer park and meth. That's the worst form of trash, but there's also plenty of middle class trash whose kids never leave town, community college dummies, dead-end jobs, tattoos, and out-of-wedlock births.


You're right it's so awful that kids decide to live near their parents and help take care of family as they age. It's terrible that people attend community college to save money, instead of spending more than they can afford on an elite education. It's awful that some young women decide to bear their child instead of aborting it. Just awful. I don't know what the world is coming to.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 11:45     Subject: Re:Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:OP, I could have written the same post and no I'm no snob, just a normal happily married guy with 3 well adjusted, normal kids that all finished college. My 5 other siblings had the same exact education (Community College) and chance at life but they failed for the most part, including having kids that ended up to be dirt bags with the same issue's. All have low paying jobs and will never be able to retire.

I was the only one able to find a higher paying job and live the "Good" life. I treat them all fairly and have NEVER brought up my financial situation. Unfortunately it's them that treat me differently simply because of what I have. To be honest, I feel that after my elderly parents pass away I'll never keep in contact with my siblings because of the situation. They in fact will be cutting me out.

I'm guessing others in my situation have had the same result.




Gee I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to spend time with you or treat you coldly! It's puzzling!
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 07:28     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
Anonymous wrote:My trashy family is in denial about how low they are. Trash to them is trailer park and meth. That's the worst form of trash, but there's also plenty of middle class trash whose kids never leave town, community college dummies, dead-end jobs, tattoos, and out-of-wedlock births.


Wow, you're ugly.
Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 01:52     Subject: Re:Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
OP, I could have written the same post and no I'm no snob, just a normal happily married guy with 3 well adjusted, normal kids that all finished college. My 5 other siblings had the same exact education (Community College) and chance at life but they failed for the most part, including having kids that ended up to be dirt bags with the same issue's. All have low paying jobs and will never be able to retire.

I was the only one able to find a higher paying job and live the "Good" life. I treat them all fairly and have NEVER brought up my financial situation. Unfortunately it's them that treat me differently simply because of what I have. To be honest, I feel that after my elderly parents pass away I'll never keep in contact with my siblings because of the situation. They in fact will be cutting me out.

I'm guessing others in my situation have had the same result.


Anonymous
Post 11/05/2016 01:09     Subject: Anyone cut family out of your life just because they're 'low'?
My mother and sister basically cut me out because they felt I married way beneath me (them). They fully expected me to leave my then fiancé and we're super pissed I didn't. We used to be a close loving family before that.