Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion, but along with getting my kid help I'm not sure I would actively try to cover this up. You know, there's consequences to this shit. You wanna play with drugs, maybe you can accept that it's going to cause your peers to gossip about you and possibly ostracize you. That's what happens when you're a druggie, decent people avoid you. I wouldn't be in such a hurry to soften that blow for my kid as it might do a lot towards making them reconsider their drug usage.

Druggies are decent people too, PP. Addiction is a disease. People need help--not stupid judgement. Did you realize that drug overdoses are now the leading cause of accidental death in this country? We need mental health services, needle exchanges, access to OD prevention drugs, and lots of compassion:
http://www.npr.org/2016/02/18/464463631/when-a-loved-one-dies-of-overdose-what-happens-to-the-family

Yeah yeah yeah that's all well and good but many of these people could have been straightened out well before becoming addicts with good parental intervention and maybe some solid natural consequences from peers. A teen who is experimenting with drugs isn't at the addict stage yet. Goal is not to cure an addict here, it's to prevent further use of drugs period because it's still stoppable at this age. Social rejection is a big influence at that age is all I'm saying.

Wow, you no nothing about drug abuse. I would not listen to this advice. Shaming kids does not work. Leave it to the professionals OP.

Im not advocating shaming him if you read. I said get him help and be supportive but don't hide it from the school out of fear of protecting his reputation. Having kids or the school know that about him might embarrass him enough to quit fooling around with drugs before it becomes a serious addiction. Let him feel that stigma from his peers and see how bad it sucks and it might help put him on a better path now before it's too late. As the parent I would never shame. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure he doesn't deal with any social consequences over this. That could save him.

Please explain the difference between shaming a kid and sharing information with the intent that it will embarrass him into changing his behavior. Further, your original point reveals a troubling judgment that addicts are all people that came from bad parents and hanging out with the wrong crowd. There are many paths to becoming an addict, even as a teenager. And to the longer that you believe in a once-size-fits-most solution, the harder it will be for those struggling with this problem. Some are struggling with too many expectations, others are just meeting the low bar set for them. Some are self-meddicating mental health issues. Some are simply lonely outcasts. In many high-schools across the country the most accepting group the school will be drug users. Perhaps least discriminating might be a better way of phrasing that. Much more complex than a bunch of low-lifes that need a haircut, spanking, and job.

I did NOT say to share the information with the intent to shame. I suggested sharing it because the counselor can help with homebound schoolwork and teachers and guidance need to be aware that there was an issue that may require ongoing discretion and monitoring. They can help with that. I said an unintended side effect of his peers knowing, which trust me, they do, even if the school admin doesn't yet, could be some social rejection that MIGHT NOT be a bad thing.

Also, why does everyone assume the kid overdosed? Op didn't say that. He could've taken a hit of something and freaked out and gone to the hospital but it doesn't mean he overdosed. Highly unlikely this is a full blown addict here, more likely a kid experimenting and I would be doing everything I could to nip that now, even if it meant some friends ostracized him as a result. My mom is an addict and I can tell you that hearing platitudes from family meant nothing to her because she has heard it too long. When friends step in and either say something or distance themselves, THAT has impact for her.

Post #6 OP indicated that it was an OD, and mentioned that she was calling out of school/work for him because there would be physical repercussions (assuming withdrawal).

I think you are being extremely naive about the potential for real, full-fledged addiction as a teenager--especially if it involves opioids and/or heroin. I grew up in MOCO, went to one of the highly-rated, affluent "W's" and knew multiple full blown opioid addicts. They started for various reasons--sports injuries, "experimentation" (which you seem so caught up on), partying etc.--and their addictions gained steam rather quickly. Why is it so hard to believe that a teen, who starts popping pills at 15 or 16, can't be a full blown addict (snorting, injecting) by 17 or 18. I saw it happen first hand, and being in an area with lots of money doesn't help.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, but just because you experienced one reaction to family interventions vs. friend interventions, that doesn't mean it's the only possible outcome. Additionally, from my experience, the family and friend intervention "platitudes" aren't all that different (please be safe, everyone loves you, we're here to help you, you're ruining your life, etc). Barring a complete "rookie accident", if this kid is at the OD/withdrawal point, he's likely hyperfocused on the drug and doesn't care about social rejection (I've seen this happen with good friends).

This kid needs real rehabilitation. Good luck OP, thinking of you.

On first page OP said that child OD'ed. But it does make a difference whether it was from ecstasy or heroin or something else. Terrible idea to share with anyone at school. There is a reason AA and NA use the word anonymous in their names.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion, but along with getting my kid help I'm not sure I would actively try to cover this up. You know, there's consequences to this shit. You wanna play with drugs, maybe you can accept that it's going to cause your peers to gossip about you and possibly ostracize you. That's what happens when you're a druggie, decent people avoid you. I wouldn't be in such a hurry to soften that blow for my kid as it might do a lot towards making them reconsider their drug usage.

Druggies are decent people too, PP. Addiction is a disease. People need help--not stupid judgement. Did you realize that drug overdoses are now the leading cause of accidental death in this country? We need mental health services, needle exchanges, access to OD prevention drugs, and lots of compassion:
http://www.npr.org/2016/02/18/464463631/when-a-loved-one-dies-of-overdose-what-happens-to-the-family

Yeah yeah yeah that's all well and good but many of these people could have been straightened out well before becoming addicts with good parental intervention and maybe some solid natural consequences from peers. A teen who is experimenting with drugs isn't at the addict stage yet. Goal is not to cure an addict here, it's to prevent further use of drugs period because it's still stoppable at this age. Social rejection is a big influence at that age is all I'm saying.

Wow, you no nothing about drug abuse. I would not listen to this advice. Shaming kids does not work. Leave it to the professionals OP.

Im not advocating shaming him if you read. I said get him help and be supportive but don't hide it from the school out of fear of protecting his reputation. Having kids or the school know that about him might embarrass him enough to quit fooling around with drugs before it becomes a serious addiction. Let him feel that stigma from his peers and see how bad it sucks and it might help put him on a better path now before it's too late. As the parent I would never shame. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure he doesn't deal with any social consequences over this. That could save him.

Please explain the difference between shaming a kid and sharing information with the intent that it will embarrass him into changing his behavior. Further, your original point reveals a troubling judgment that addicts are all people that came from bad parents and hanging out with the wrong crowd. There are many paths to becoming an addict, even as a teenager. And to the longer that you believe in a once-size-fits-most solution, the harder it will be for those struggling with this problem. Some are struggling with too many expectations, others are just meeting the low bar set for them. Some are self-meddicating mental health issues. Some are simply lonely outcasts. In many high-schools across the country the most accepting group the school will be drug users. Perhaps least discriminating might be a better way of phrasing that. Much more complex than a bunch of low-lifes that need a haircut, spanking, and job.

I did NOT say to share the information with the intent to shame. I suggested sharing it because the counselor can help with homebound schoolwork and teachers and guidance need to be aware that there was an issue that may require ongoing discretion and monitoring. They can help with that. I said an unintended side effect of his peers knowing, which trust me, they do, even if the school admin doesn't yet, could be some social rejection that MIGHT NOT be a bad thing.

Also, why does everyone assume the kid overdosed? Op didn't say that. He could've taken a hit of something and freaked out and gone to the hospital but it doesn't mean he overdosed. Highly unlikely this is a full blown addict here, more likely a kid experimenting and I would be doing everything I could to nip that now, even if it meant some friends ostracized him as a result. My mom is an addict and I can tell you that hearing platitudes from family meant nothing to her because she has heard it too long. When friends step in and either say something or distance themselves, THAT has impact for her.

Also would be helpful to know what drug we are talking about. Some are very addictive like heroin others are not addictive but can easily lead to overdose/death like ecstasy.

BTDT.

Do not tell anyone. Make up some medical excuse. Do NOT listen to the people saying being open etc is the best way to go either for punishment/requiring accountability or for the greater social good of bringing things out in the open. Right now all you should care about is your child and doing the most effective things to keep them alive while protecting their future.

Happy to share more but could be more directed if you could tell us if your child is dependent or if they were a first time experimenter and were just unfortunate enough to OD. This information is crucial to deciding the best next steps.

Anonymous wrote:To protect yourself and your DCs future, first things first is you need to be careful about what you say and to whom.

It is better to stay out of the system. Hopefully the OD was not coincident with an arrest. I would suspect that the hospital called CPS, however if they did not that is good. Do not divulge this to your school.

It sounds terrible, but you need to keep this information as close to your family as possible. The "system" will only compound your problems and make them worse.

You DC needs help, your family needs to heal. You should not need to hire attorneys to battle CPS or fight the school system to keep DC in their home school when they are ready to return.

Remember that the bureaucracy is not your friend right now. Your only friend will be therapists and support networks that will help you get through this. Your insurance should hopefully be there to help somewhat and there should be other services offered through non-profits as well.

This is the best advice. I would only tell school that child had a medical issue that requires possible long term hospitalization.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion, but along with getting my kid help I'm not sure I would actively try to cover this up. You know, there's consequences to this shit. You wanna play with drugs, maybe you can accept that it's going to cause your peers to gossip about you and possibly ostracize you. That's what happens when you're a druggie, decent people avoid you. I wouldn't be in such a hurry to soften that blow for my kid as it might do a lot towards making them reconsider their drug usage.

Druggies are decent people too, PP. Addiction is a disease. People need help--not stupid judgement. Did you realize that drug overdoses are now the leading cause of accidental death in this country? We need mental health services, needle exchanges, access to OD prevention drugs, and lots of compassion:
http://www.npr.org/2016/02/18/464463631/when-a-loved-one-dies-of-overdose-what-happens-to-the-family

Yeah yeah yeah that's all well and good but many of these people could have been straightened out well before becoming addicts with good parental intervention and maybe some solid natural consequences from peers. A teen who is experimenting with drugs isn't at the addict stage yet. Goal is not to cure an addict here, it's to prevent further use of drugs period because it's still stoppable at this age. Social rejection is a big influence at that age is all I'm saying.

Wow, you no nothing about drug abuse. I would not listen to this advice. Shaming kids does not work. Leave it to the professionals OP.

Im not advocating shaming him if you read. I said get him help and be supportive but don't hide it from the school out of fear of protecting his reputation. Having kids or the school know that about him might embarrass him enough to quit fooling around with drugs before it becomes a serious addiction. Let him feel that stigma from his peers and see how bad it sucks and it might help put him on a better path now before it's too late. As the parent I would never shame. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure he doesn't deal with any social consequences over this. That could save him.

Please explain the difference between shaming a kid and sharing information with the intent that it will embarrass him into changing his behavior. Further, your original point reveals a troubling judgment that addicts are all people that came from bad parents and hanging out with the wrong crowd. There are many paths to becoming an addict, even as a teenager. And to the longer that you believe in a once-size-fits-most solution, the harder it will be for those struggling with this problem. Some are struggling with too many expectations, others are just meeting the low bar set for them. Some are self-meddicating mental health issues. Some are simply lonely outcasts. In many high-schools across the country the most accepting group the school will be drug users. Perhaps least discriminating might be a better way of phrasing that. Much more complex than a bunch of low-lifes that need a haircut, spanking, and job.

Hazelden's teen/young adult program was very helpful for my nephew.

http://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/treatment/locations/plymouth

To protect yourself and your DCs future, first things first is you need to be careful about what you say and to whom.

It is better to stay out of the system. Hopefully the OD was not coincident with an arrest. I would suspect that the hospital called CPS, however if they did not that is good. Do not divulge this to your school.

It sounds terrible, but you need to keep this information as close to your family as possible. The "system" will only compound your problems and make them worse.

You DC needs help, your family needs to heal. You should not need to hire attorneys to battle CPS or fight the school system to keep DC in their home school when they are ready to return.

Remember that the bureaucracy is not your friend right now. Your only friend will be therapists and support networks that will help you get through this. Your insurance should hopefully be there to help somewhat and there should be other services offered through non-profits as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion, but along with getting my kid help I'm not sure I would actively try to cover this up. You know, there's consequences to this shit. You wanna play with drugs, maybe you can accept that it's going to cause your peers to gossip about you and possibly ostracize you. That's what happens when you're a druggie, decent people avoid you. I wouldn't be in such a hurry to soften that blow for my kid as it might do a lot towards making them reconsider their drug usage.

Druggies are decent people too, PP. Addiction is a disease. People need help--not stupid judgement. Did you realize that drug overdoses are now the leading cause of accidental death in this country? We need mental health services, needle exchanges, access to OD prevention drugs, and lots of compassion:
http://www.npr.org/2016/02/18/464463631/when-a-loved-one-dies-of-overdose-what-happens-to-the-family

Yeah yeah yeah that's all well and good but many of these people could have been straightened out well before becoming addicts with good parental intervention and maybe some solid natural consequences from peers. A teen who is experimenting with drugs isn't at the addict stage yet. Goal is not to cure an addict here, it's to prevent further use of drugs period because it's still stoppable at this age. Social rejection is a big influence at that age is all I'm saying.

Wow, you no nothing about drug abuse. I would not listen to this advice. Shaming kids does not work. Leave it to the professionals OP.

Im not advocating shaming him if you read. I said get him help and be supportive but don't hide it from the school out of fear of protecting his reputation. Having kids or the school know that about him might embarrass him enough to quit fooling around with drugs before it becomes a serious addiction. Let him feel that stigma from his peers and see how bad it sucks and it might help put him on a better path now before it's too late. As the parent I would never shame. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure he doesn't deal with any social consequences over this. That could save him.

You're assuming, because of his age, that he doesn't have a serious addiction. If he's at the point of overdose, this is likely already a very serious problem. Just because someone is young, doesn't mean they can't be/aren't in the depths of a serious addiction.

New poster here. I think it's important to be open about this. Addiction is a disease - covering it up is toxic. But the pp seemed too excited about shaming the kid. The point is not to shame them - the point is to make sure they get help and keeping secrets is part of the disease, not part of the cure.

OP, do you have a history of addiction in your family? If so, that would suggest that your child does have problems with addiction and this isn't just a one-off misstep. You may want to investigate Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings. My kid has been in recovery for several years and I know how hard it is to watch our child go through this. Good luck. I wish you the best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, I'm sure this won't be a popular opinion, but along with getting my kid help I'm not sure I would actively try to cover this up. You know, there's consequences to this shit. You wanna play with drugs, maybe you can accept that it's going to cause your peers to gossip about you and possibly ostracize you. That's what happens when you're a druggie, decent people avoid you. I wouldn't be in such a hurry to soften that blow for my kid as it might do a lot towards making them reconsider their drug usage.

Druggies are decent people too, PP. Addiction is a disease. People need help--not stupid judgement. Did you realize that drug overdoses are now the leading cause of accidental death in this country? We need mental health services, needle exchanges, access to OD prevention drugs, and lots of compassion:
http://www.npr.org/2016/02/18/464463631/when-a-loved-one-dies-of-overdose-what-happens-to-the-family

Yeah yeah yeah that's all well and good but many of these people could have been straightened out well before becoming addicts with good parental intervention and maybe some solid natural consequences from peers. A teen who is experimenting with drugs isn't at the addict stage yet. Goal is not to cure an addict here, it's to prevent further use of drugs period because it's still stoppable at this age. Social rejection is a big influence at that age is all I'm saying.

Wow, you no nothing about drug abuse. I would not listen to this advice. Shaming kids does not work. Leave it to the professionals OP.

Im not advocating shaming him if you read. I said get him help and be supportive but don't hide it from the school out of fear of protecting his reputation. Having kids or the school know that about him might embarrass him enough to quit fooling around with drugs before it becomes a serious addiction. Let him feel that stigma from his peers and see how bad it sucks and it might help put him on a better path now before it's too late. As the parent I would never shame. But I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to make sure he doesn't deal with any social consequences over this. That could save him.