Find better friends. I don't spend time with people who are crude or who curse. I don't like it and I wouldn't want other people to think I was similar. It is true that you are known by the company you keep. I choose not to hang out with nasty, yucky people. I certainly wouldn't want my children around that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't bring your baby to lunch. Problem solved.

The world is not going to change for you. If you don't want your baby exposed to certain things, shield it from them.

My son has to come. It's not an option to see her without bringing him. She has a young child as well. I am visiting from out of town. I am wondering how to say it nicely not IF I should say it at all.

What? You're visiting from out of town? So your child has no exposure to this friend except for this one lunch. And your primary source is from emails and texts.

Whatever OP. Sounds like you already made up your mind but do you or your husband never curse? Oh next post: How can I politely tell my husband to stop cursing around our child?

why are normal social interactions

The important thing is you have to wait until she actually swears in front of your child before asking her not to.

Preempting with the assumption she would could offend her unnecessarily. It also seems like starting drama for the sake of drama. It's not an issue yet, so leave it alone.

If it becomes an issue, politely ask if she could refrain from swearing in front of your son now that he's old enough to start repeating words.

Why is normal social interaction like this so challenging for so many people?!

OP, just say, "Would you mind not cursing now that my child is able to listen and repeat everything she hears? I'd really appreciate it." I'd ask that and, in fact, have. It's a perfectly reasonable request. Though someone who curses like a sailor as you've described may not be willing or able to refrain entirely.

My dh curses a lot but in 13 years has never slipped once in front of our kids. It's doable for him because it's a value he thinks is important in being a role model. Your friend isn't in that role so he probably won't care as much to modify his habits.

I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me but it sounds like the majority here find it terribly offensive so I guess it's hard to know. On the other hand, you kmow here are a lot of hard ass bitches on DCUM so maybe that'll help you gauge your friend accordingly.

Anonymous wrote:Who are you people who are so self important that you would be offended by a polite request not to swear in front of my kid? I would never presume to tell you not to curse, but if I ask nicely then you should either comply or say no. Then I will know whether to see you when my kid is around. What is there to be offended by?

It's not being over protective to try to let your kid be an innocent little kid as long as possible. I'm no prude, but I try to teach my kids that you need to learn to express yourself with vocabulary rather than cursing. It's sweet when my 4 year old scolds me if I let a 'crap' slip out from time to time. I make sure I never say the hard stuff around them.

Its pretty self important to assume an adult would use vulgarity around a child and feel the need to make a preemptive request.

Who are you people who are so self important that you would be offended by a polite request not to swear in front of my kid? I would never presume to tell you not to curse, but if I ask nicely then you should either comply or say no. Then I will know whether to see you when my kid is around. What is there to be offended by?

It's not being over protective to try to let your kid be an innocent little kid as long as possible. I'm no prude, but I try to teach my kids that you need to learn to express yourself with vocabulary rather than cursing. It's sweet when my 4 year old scolds me if I let a 'crap' slip out from time to time. I make sure I never say the hard stuff around them.

Hey there OP. I'm 43 years old and I have maybe said a half a dozen curse words in all my years. Vulgar language is not for me but I would never presume I had a right to take away a person's choice of words.

I also understand that my children will hear curse words. It is my (and my DHs) job to explain to them that this language is not for them until they are adults.

It is not the rest of the world's job to model behavior for your son, that is your job alone. Do you want to model judgement towards others or personal choice?

Anonymous wrote:I can have a potty mouth at times. It wouldn't bother me a bit if you asked me to try not to curse when your child is around. I'd happily comply.

I don't think you have to worry about asking someone to try not to curse. I think "telling someone not to curse around your child" is a bit harsher and may make someone defensive.

In reality, everyone knows that shouldn't curse around kids -- a gentle reminder should be all it takes.

This. Most well adjusted and mentally healthy adults have no problem cleaning up the language around kids, and most do it without anything being said

If it happens just a gentle kind of joking request should suffice.

You can ASK your friend whatever. You don't TELL her anything.

See the difference?

You sound like a controlling bitch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are so uptight.

Occasional cussing is fine. My friend cusses a lot though. I think I am going to forget this friendship anyway. Cussing all the time in your 30s makes you a loser. This forum made me realize this.

LOL. No it doesn't. You seemed to be easily swayed.

I rarely swell. Between a 4 year old and the nature of my job it's mostly been dropped from my vocab. That said, I'd probably rather be friends with thr swearer than OP. Judgemental and uptight people drive me nuts

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are so uptight.

Occasional cussing is fine. My friend cusses a lot though. I think I am going to forget this friendship anyway. Cussing all the time in your 30s makes you a loser. This forum made me realize this.

Ok.

Don't let the door hit you...

+1

Bye, OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get better friends. Potty mouths simply stink.

Op here: I think this is what I am go to do. I have asked him not to cuss many times. If it happened occasionally it would be one thing. He constantly cusses in person and now in texts and emails. It's too much for me.

Why were you asking the group how to do something that you've apparently already done? If you've expressed your preference and your friend won't comply, that's the issue. Not his cursing; demonizing an adult for cursing makes you sound silly, but I'm happy you finally found someone here to agree with you so you can feel justified.
I'd rather be friends with someone who curses than a passive aggressive woman with no backbone.