ZachF wrote:Out of 20 responses so far, 16 or 80% have chosen #1 while only 9, or 45% chose #4.
Money seems to be more important as a good sex life to nearly twice as many respondents.

Yes, and a similar response rate for men saying theIr wife's contribution didn't matter but sex did.

Out of 20 responses so far, 16 or 80% have chosen #1 while only 9, or 45% chose #4.

Only 5 of the 16 who chose #1 also chose #4.

Money seems to be more important than a good sex life to three times as many respondents.

#6 is a Unicorn. These creatures do not exist. Especially among the 2/3 of guys with a spouse who doesn't value a good sex life with her husband.

I'd be interested in reading anyone other analysis of this data.

3, 4, 1. No question. I want good and plentiful sex...and if you want me to have sex with you, you better be at least as fit as I am. And ya, we need some money too.

4,3,2,5 - couldn't pick just 3 But I did put them in priority order!

I want and expect my husband to be my partner. He expects the same. He's reliable, dependable, a great dad, a great person to share a house with (cleans up, works hard outside etc without being asked), fun, and takes care of himself physically (works out regularly etc). He isn't perfect, but neither am I. I have a large personal net worth so his income doesn't matter to me but the fact that he works at a steady and reliable job is important to me (strength of character).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make these modifications.

Add # 8. Good father

# 6. Change to reliable, honest and trustworthy.
# 1. Change to good provider ( consistent, dependable, not necessary to make a lot of money)

These would be my top 3 (and my husband doesn't make a lot of money, but he has a steady job and works hard there).

Thank you. You sound like an appreciative wife and like your head is on straight.

Anonymous wrote:Please make these modifications.

Add # 8. Good father

# 6. Change to reliable, honest and trustworthy.
# 1. Change to good provider ( consistent, dependable, not necessary to make a lot of money)

These would be my top 3 (and my husband doesn't make a lot of money, but he has a steady job and works hard there).

It's a game, pretend, "what if?" - not real life, not how anyone actually operates.

Lighten up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every answer but one chose number 1 yet you DCUM's always claim to be superior to their husbands. Money grubbing b*#ches.

All things equal nobody wants to be a with a broke dude. Life is much better all around if we aren't scrambling to make ends meet. But keep making those lattes, the supermarket cashier of your dreams will find you.

Keep hurling insults the truth must really bite. FWI, I am a 40 something marries male with a 200k income and a house in Fairfax.

I just find it funny that all the DCUM's claim to be smarter and make more money than their husbands or can't find a good man to love, yet all they are looking for here is money.

Money whores.

Personally, mine better make a lot because his profession should be making a lot + the debt we carry for it can only be paid off quickly if he's making a lot. After the debt is done and we're back on track with savings, go ahead, make a little.

For me:

5. We have common interests and enjoy being together....outside of bed

4. Cares about my sexual needs and is good in bed

1. Makes a lot of money.

Don't really care about the rest...

DH here interested on number 3
last weekend on date night I was sitting next to DW out to dinner touching her back, which is common for me to do with her. She made the comment on how she finds this sexy and didn't care if I was overweight and that women don't care about appearances. I read almost the opposite here or any place online regarding women. I am a very fit 48 year old, always had a 6 pack take care of myself. So is she just used to seeing me after 16 years she doesn't seem to notice?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have high standards, sorry. I'm going with all of them. I wouldn't have married someone who didn't have each of those things.

Yes, everyone marries hoping that their spouse stays attractive and fit and that their sex life stays robust through children and ageing etc. the question is for people already married- what matters now. What's happening or what do you prioritize now?

I'm sure you aren't the only one with high standards. I'm sure you still, like everyone, prioritize those standards.

I prioritize all of those things. I have them all now. I wouldn't put up with a man who let himself get fat, had an affair with my neighbor, or didn't help me with household chores and children. And no I wouldn't have married a man with poor earning potential either or someone I didn't get along with in or out of bed.

The one thing I could let go, I guess, is #6. I wouldn't put up with an actual affair or flirtation, as I said, but I can't control his thoughts. I'm sure he does lust after other women. I certain find other men attractive.

Oh. Well, yeah, if you'd divorce your husband for gaining weight or losing his job I wouldn't really say you have high standards so much as you must have takes really different vows than I did.

I wouldn't divorce immediately but I would tell him to make some changes, and support those efforts, if he was gaining a lot of weight (unhealthy) or unemployed for a long period (depressed). YMMV but I have a fantastic marriage compared to most of the people who miserably post on here about their lack of sex lives or even friendly connection with spouses. Probably because I ask for what I want and then expect to get it.

I'm happy that your marriage is fantastic for you. I feel the same, he's my best friend and I'm so attracted to him 12 years into our marriage. I can't imagine having my marriage tied to a number on a string or his income, however. I can't imagine telling my three kids, "oh Daddy gained some weight and Mommy GETS WHAT SHE ASKS FOR so I left him."

To each their own, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every answer but one chose number 1 yet you DCUM's always claim to be superior to their husbands. Money grubbing b*#ches.

All things equal nobody wants to be a with a broke dude. Life is much better all around if we aren't scrambling to make ends meet. But keep making those lattes, the supermarket cashier of your dreams will find you.

Keep hurling insults the truth must really bite. FWI, I am a 40 something marries male with a 200k income and a house in Fairfax.

I just find it funny that all the DCUM's claim to be smarter and make more money than their husbands or can't find a good man to love, yet all they are looking for here is money.

Money whores.

Bless your heart. Somehow you think "a 200k income and a house in Fairfax" makes you ballerific. In this area, that money and location is real regular. But it's always the regular dudes who think somebody is trying to get in their pockets.

Ooh hard!

Have to have: 1, 4, 5, and 7 (I definitely would not have married a man who didn't fit #7).

Nice to have: 3, 2, and 6.

Really my husband fits all 7 minus #3 (he's probably gained 20 lbs. since I met him at 19).

The thinks I'm choosing are the things I don't have.

So my husband already:

2. Shares in household chores [pretty good there]
4. Cares about my sexual needs and is good in bed [good enough, anyway]
6. Doesn't lust after a near by neighbor or my sister. [gross]
7. OK- #6 is a pushing it but....he cares about my feelings! [yes, he's got this]


So I want him to:
1. Makes a lot of money. [he is dependable and isn't a slacker. We do OK, but definitely need my income]
3. Stay's attractive and fit [fail]
5. We have common interests and enjoy being together....outside of bed [this is on me, too, but kind of a fail]