Anonymous wrote:Blah blah blah, women can dress how they want. How you dress is an expression of how you want the world to see you and how you see yourself.

That said, if you dress like a porn star all the time or most of the time, you send a message that you view yourself primarily as a sex object and have a pathological need for attention, even if it is negative. Dressing in a revealing fashion doesn't make you confident or feminist. You are, in fact, completely caving to a backward, anti-female idea of what is sexy.

Why can't she just wear what she enjoys without it being a damning diagnosis of a character flaw?

Women can be really hard on each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adults don't get to tell other adults how to dress Accept her for who she is or don't hang out with her


And never say slut again. Ever.

politically insensitive language police laying down the rules.

Yeah, I much prefer, "my friend dresses like a whore."

My friend likes to say, "My ex's new wife dresses like a ho." I like that even more because it's very true. Slutty sounds too conservative for this woman's style.

If you like your friend you should do activities that keep her covered. Like skiing.

Hi OP,
i have a friend like that, and I typically hang out with a seriously repressed NW DC, Chevy Chase crowd whose fav clothes are white jeans and preppy tunics that make everyone look pregnant.

I've had to think hard about my need for approval and how that influences how I see my friend sometimes. Why should I care what other people might think about me because I sometimes hang out with someone who dresses in a slutty way?

And finally I really don't care anymore. My friend can dress however she wants - she's 48 and still a fabulous and toned size 2. More power to her. I would never say a word to her. OP, if you can't accept your friend and everything about her, then let her go. It's you that has the problem. And it's being superficial.

As for the word slutty, I work with words all day for a living, and I've done this for 25 years. And I like that word. Everyone is free to interpret it in any way they like, but when OP wrote "slutty" we all knew exactly what she meant, and we all got a picture in our heads. That's just good, descriptive writing. Let's face it, some clothing is slutty.

Anonymous wrote:Wow OP. I hope your friend figures out what a shitty person you are before you say something to her face.

The OP isn't a shitty person. She is uncomfortable around a friend. Lots of people would feel as she does and to this point, she specified, she has not said anything.

Being feminist doesn't mean that every women gets a free pass to act like an ass. Feminism is about choices, but if you make a shitty choice, people will judge you for it. This is life; there is no judgement free zone. All you have to worry about is whose judgment means anything to you and ignore the rest.

OP, you need to decide how much you value the friendship, because it is unlikely there is anyway you can convey this to your friend without hurting your friend's feelings and possibly losing the friendship. If you care about keeping her as a friend, grit your teeth and hope she clues in eventually. Maybe you'll laugh about it together someday.

How do I tell my friend she dresses frumpy aka dumpy? it's so embarrassing going out with her. Everyone looks and feels sad for her and sad for me for being with her. Help!!!

Blah blah blah, women can dress how they want. How you dress is an expression of how you want the world to see you and how you see yourself.

That said, if you dress like a porn star all the time or most of the time, you send a message that you view yourself primarily as a sex object and have a pathological need for attention, even if it is negative. Dressing in a revealing fashion doesn't make you confident or feminist. You are, in fact, completely caving to a backward, anti-female idea of what is sexy.

NP here. I'd like to go back to the intent of OP's question, because I had this situation and was also unsure how to deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 'whore' just as bad? Or are we okay with that one?

different word. Not what the OP said.

Different word but it's a synonym. Are you saying it's different? How so?

A whore makes money.

Wow OP. I hope your friend figures out what a shitty person you are before you say something to her face.

My friend of similar age is dating a 19 year old and has a 12 year old child.

Count your blessings OP, and MYFB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is 'whore' just as bad? Or are we okay with that one?

different word. Not what the OP said.

Different word but it's a synonym. Are you saying it's different? How so?

Anonymous wrote:Is 'whore' just as bad? Or are we okay with that one?

different word. Not what the OP said.

Is 'whore' just as bad? Or are we okay with that one?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go with the age old wisdom, "Mind your own fucking business."

+1. Don't tell someone what language she can use. The word "slut" has been in the English language for more than half a millennia, but now some humorless chippy decides it can't be used?

It isn't one "humorless chippy;" is anyone who is not a fan of misogyny.

Slut isn't the only word whose sole purpose is degradation. How long has the "n word" been around? Does it get a pass from you as well?

The n word is a racial slur solely related to a person's being.

Alut is a descriptive word to discribe a chosen attitude, action, behavior or in this case, fashion choice

How dare you equate the two. They are not even cut from the same fabric.

I thought we were no longer telling people what to say.