Anonymous wrote:My 9-year old daughter is slightly overweight and she is constantly hungry. At every meal she asks for a second full helping. Not just a little extra, more like a second helping of pasta, a second sandwich, etc. People say "she must be going through a growth spurt!" but she's not really spurting, she's just getting chubbier.

We make every effort to prepare healthy meals, we only have dessert on special occasions, we don't have juice. We keep her very active-- we walk everywhere, including to and from school everyday, and she plays three sports plus Girls on the Run.

I don't know how to handle it when she asks for more food. I don't want to give her a complex about food or her weight and I am careful to never comment on her weight, my weight, or anyone else's. I come from a family of overweight/obese people so I am sensitive to this issue but it feels wrong to restrict her eating at this age.

Any advice?

it is wrong. the reasons why she 'overeats ' may not have anything to do with food or hunger, and if you're feeding her the same way you're feeding her non-overweigt/non-overeating siblings, then there's no need for concerns.

Is she naturally sensitive?

For myself as an adult eating as natural of a diet as possible helps. I gain weight quickly if I eat food full of preservatives or other additives. Being able to understand every word on the label helps as well as using as many natural products as possible in the home.

Especially when it comes to meat I would do hormone/antibiotic free. Even pesticides - if her body is sensitive many typical grocery products purchased could lead to storing the overwhelm of toxins in fat cells as opposed to being able to eliminate them. If you aren't already, trying natural and organic and avoiding GMOs might help?

I don't think it's the only factor but as an adult it matters for me. My family is all overweight and I maintain a healthy size.

Anonymous wrote:I subsist on bagels, muffins and breads and am pretty thin (115 lbs, 5'6). However, I eat mostly whole grain bagels, mostly low-sugar (muffins), and almost never white bread. So no, starches and carbs don't NECESSARILY cause weight gain.

OP, if I were you I would advocate portion control, and I *would* cut out all junk, which does make one's glucose spike and cause hunger. Also, if she is using food as entertainment, you may consider talking to her about the role of food, and that it's great to enjoy it, but not to overindulge, etc. It's a really fine line with girls. Good luck!

Or, you are genetically disposed to be thin. You are extremely thin, in fact.

Watch That Sugar Film. You don't need to be eating obvious junk food to have weight creep up on you. I would start reading labels labels labels and emphasis eating as little processed food as possible. Yes this does mean more time cooking and may mean more money spent, but it's incredible what is in processed food vs when we were kids. It's easy to think you have a good, reliable diet because you aren't eating at McDonalds every day, but for many people, certain processed carbs, added sugar and added salt can incredibly change your weight. Is it fair, no, but that's life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she asks for more, give her raw veggies to munch on. The sound will signal to her brain that she's eating, the munching motion will make her mouth feel like she's eating, and she'll get more food in her belly in case her body truly IS hungry.

But don't give more starches.

Stupid is as stupid does. Calories are calories.

Starches or carbs don't cause weight gain. Over consumption of calories does.

This is totally untrue! 100 calories of a Snickers bar is not metabolized the same as 100 calories of an apple! The apple has fiber which metabolizes the sugar in the apple differently than the Snickers bar. Jesus, take a basic nutrition class, please.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pasta turns to sugar immediately. You are turning her into a sugar burner. That stimulates hunger. Unlike protein that turns off hunger. See a dietician asap.

We eat balanced meals, I was just using pasta as a quick example. Every meal we make has protein, vegetables, and some grain. This isn't about what we are feeding her. No matter what it is, she always asks for more.

But it is about what you feed her. If you give her larger portions of refined carbs, she will just get hungrier. I tend to feed my kids more veggies and protein than refined carbs. I would also be sure she drinks more water with dinner and have her wait at least 20 mins before a second portion.

Anonymous wrote:Let her eat.

+1, sounds like she's just hungry. I'm getting tired just reading your list of activities for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a complusive eater. I was one as a child but did;t recognize it until I was an adult. I used to sneak food all the time as a kid and I was never ever hungry. Grew up in an upper middle class house. I was using food to deal with emotions too. In so many ways I still compusivly eat as a 45 year old. Making trip after trip to the pantry,to eat entire bags of food etc. But only after my kid and DH have gone to bed. I have tried hypnosis and therapy with little luck. Intensive exercise has helped some. I am not more than 15lbs overweight but its such an internal nightmare petiole have no idea. You might want to talk to a professional. This may get a lot worse as she hits 12 or 13.

I would guess this is more of the issue then her actually being hungry. It's also possible she is carb sensitive and she is just the kind of person who will have to limit carbs or overeat.

As far as playing 3 sports, I have seen kids sports at age 9 and they are not that intensive. I wouldn't really count them as exercise unless during practice the kids are continually running or moving around and not waiting in a line for a turn or standing on the side lines. Girls on the Run is nice but honestly I saw many girls who complained they were tired to walked most of the practices, complained and sat down for quite a bit of time and needed very long water breaks so again unless you really see her running the whole time, don't count on it being that intensive.

Are you suggesting that she should be making the 9-year old engage in more "intensive" exercise? Should she be making her run laps or something? Use an elliptical machine?

Yes, she might not be engaged in super intensive sports at that age but I'm not sure what a reasonable alternative is.

You clearly have never seen kids sports practices at that age or the games. What I am suggesting is saying that she plays 3 sports a week might really translate to very little physical activity in the end. There is a lot of standing around, sitting around and whining involved in kids sports

Unless it's more of the competitive level like travel, then just going to the practice isn't going to really be enough physical activity for kids like the OPs who are eating more calories then they are expending.

I am not suggesting intensive exercise what I am suggesting is a reality check on just how much physical activity is really going on. It might mean that there needs to be more family walks or bike rides each week in addition to the sports and walking to school.

Agree with this, especially if a child has time to play three sports she probably isn't doing any of them at a high level. I know my 10 yr old DS doesn't get that much exercise playing rec soccer (he usually plays defense so he's not running the whole time like others on the team) while my 11 yr old DD fences 3 times a week and practices include intense physical conditioning so she's drenched in sweat when I pick her up. DD is a big girl -- tall and muscular and was tending toward pudgy before she got into fencing at 9 yrs old. It has really made a difference for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a complusive eater. I was one as a child but did;t recognize it until I was an adult. I used to sneak food all the time as a kid and I was never ever hungry. Grew up in an upper middle class house. I was using food to deal with emotions too. In so many ways I still compusivly eat as a 45 year old. Making trip after trip to the pantry,to eat entire bags of food etc. But only after my kid and DH have gone to bed. I have tried hypnosis and therapy with little luck. Intensive exercise has helped some. I am not more than 15lbs overweight but its such an internal nightmare petiole have no idea. You might want to talk to a professional. This may get a lot worse as she hits 12 or 13.

I would guess this is more of the issue then her actually being hungry. It's also possible she is carb sensitive and she is just the kind of person who will have to limit carbs or overeat.

As far as playing 3 sports, I have seen kids sports at age 9 and they are not that intensive. I wouldn't really count them as exercise unless during practice the kids are continually running or moving around and not waiting in a line for a turn or standing on the side lines. Girls on the Run is nice but honestly I saw many girls who complained they were tired to walked most of the practices, complained and sat down for quite a bit of time and needed very long water breaks so again unless you really see her running the whole time, don't count on it being that intensive.

Are you suggesting that she should be making the 9-year old engage in more "intensive" exercise? Should she be making her run laps or something? Use an elliptical machine?

Yes, she might not be engaged in super intensive sports at that age but I'm not sure what a reasonable alternative is.

You clearly have never seen kids sports practices at that age or the games. What I am suggesting is saying that she plays 3 sports a week might really translate to very little physical activity in the end. There is a lot of standing around, sitting around and whining involved in kids sports

Unless it's more of the competitive level like travel, then just going to the practice isn't going to really be enough physical activity for kids like the OPs who are eating more calories then they are expending.

I am not suggesting intensive exercise what I am suggesting is a reality check on just how much physical activity is really going on. It might mean that there needs to be more family walks or bike rides each week in addition to the sports and walking to school.

I really agree with the sentiment that you want to love her, model choices, but not push her to make the choices you want her to make. You're doing a great job modeling and offering healthy food choices. I suspect without meaning to, you're sending her some disapproving messages if she asks for seconds. If I were you, I'd keep water glasses full, lots of veggies on the table, protein/carbs on the stove, but let anyone know that anyone who wants more can get up and serve themselves more. But no second glances or frown if she does eat seconds or thirds.

At the end of the day, if she did become overweight, would you love her less? Would you be ashamed for her? Would you feel she is less of a person or less of your daughter? If the answers to these are yes, you need therapy. If the answers are no, then leave this topic alone and focus on having a loving relationship with her.

Keep in mind she's coming to an age when power-struggles can easily take shape over food. That will drive worse and more destructive behavior, so the lighter you tread her, the more likely it is that nature and she will work it out by drawing on the foundation you've built.

Pay attention to how she eats. My nephew is overweight and his parents claim to have no idea why. But this kid packs away an unbelievable amount of food in a meal. Huge servings, huge bites, keeps his mouth full of food at all times, chews quickly. BIL eats the same way which might be why it seems normal to them.

I don't think he even has time to feel full until he has already over eaten. Maybe this is not relevant to your daughter, but if it is it seems like you could start limiting the amounts just by focusing on "table manners".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When she asks for more, give her raw veggies to munch on. The sound will signal to her brain that she's eating, the munching motion will make her mouth feel like she's eating, and she'll get more food in her belly in case her body truly IS hungry.

But don't give more starches.

Stupid is as stupid does. Calories are calories.

Starches or carbs don't cause weight gain. Over consumption of calories does.

Is it really necessary to call someone stupid?

Ugly Americans. Starches and carbs cause weight gain.

Calories are calories but if you mostly eat starches you burn through them quickly and you're hungry again soon.
Protein is broken down slower and can help you eat fewer calories as you are not hungry soon after eating (as with carbs).

Anonymous wrote:Pasta turns to sugar immediately. You are turning her into a sugar burner. That stimulates hunger. Unlike protein that turns off hunger. See a dietician asap.

More protein? Cheese, meat, etc? A protein shake between meals and a salad with low fat dressing and cheese and nuts (protein) before the pasta?
If she puts on a lot of weight now, from my experience she will struggle with it the rest of her life. Not a 'little over weight' but sometimes 'obesity' which is not fun.
If take her to the pediatrician and a good dietician.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds like a complusive eater. I was one as a child but did;t recognize it until I was an adult. I used to sneak food all the time as a kid and I was never ever hungry. Grew up in an upper middle class house. I was using food to deal with emotions too. In so many ways I still compusivly eat as a 45 year old. Making trip after trip to the pantry,to eat entire bags of food etc. But only after my kid and DH have gone to bed. I have tried hypnosis and therapy with little luck. Intensive exercise has helped some. I am not more than 15lbs overweight but its such an internal nightmare petiole have no idea. You might want to talk to a professional. This may get a lot worse as she hits 12 or 13.

I would guess this is more of the issue then her actually being hungry. It's also possible she is carb sensitive and she is just the kind of person who will have to limit carbs or overeat.

As far as playing 3 sports, I have seen kids sports at age 9 and they are not that intensive. I wouldn't really count them as exercise unless during practice the kids are continually running or moving around and not waiting in a line for a turn or standing on the side lines. Girls on the Run is nice but honestly I saw many girls who complained they were tired to walked most of the practices, complained and sat down for quite a bit of time and needed very long water breaks so again unless you really see her running the whole time, don't count on it being that intensive.

Are you suggesting that she should be making the 9-year old engage in more "intensive" exercise? Should she be making her run laps or something? Use an elliptical machine?

Yes, she might not be engaged in super intensive sports at that age but I'm not sure what a reasonable alternative is.

I have a 9 year old son who I can tell is going to have a tendency to gain weight while his younger brother is lean. obesity runs in our family so I am trying to stay on top of it. So we start off with smaller first servings then if he wants seconds it is another small serving. If he has pizza we cut the pizza into smaller slices so he is eating more slices but less pizza. And if he has eaten a reasonable amount he doesn't get more of the main course, he can eat unsweetened Apple sauce, a banana, grapes or strawberries - all of which he really likes but won't eat if he really full. And we keep him really active.