Women have touched me on the arm or shoulder many times during a conversation. I guess in some instances it could have meant something more than geniality, but most of the time that's all it is. I can't remember a woman touching my lower back, but then that would require a rather awkward reach during a conversation.

If your colleague does it again and it makes you uncomfortable, just tell him in a nice way that you'd prefer he didn't do so again, maybe something about being very into your personal space.

If he is otherwise a decent person as far as you know, making this out to be part of rape culture is bonkers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.

Women touch men all the time. The difference is men aren't on a hair trigger to get offended.

The difference is that women don't rape men all the time. Do you feel visceral fear when a woman touches you? Women feel it ALL THE TIME when men do it.

Wow! You need some therapy to get over this. You think men rape women all the time? You've really bought into some extreme propaganda. I sincerely hope you don't speak for all women when you say they have fear every time a man makes contact with them.

Not that poster, but a rape occurs every two minutes in the U.S. It's frequent. The vast majority of men are not rapists, but nobody knows who is a rapist until it happens.

And there's that extreme propaganda.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.

Women touch men all the time. The difference is men aren't on a hair trigger to get offended.

The difference is that women don't rape men all the time. Do you feel visceral fear when a woman touches you? Women feel it ALL THE TIME when men do it.

Wow! You need some therapy to get over this. You think men rape women all the time? You've really bought into some extreme propaganda. I sincerely hope you don't speak for all women when you say they have fear every time a man makes contact with them.

Not that poster, but a rape occurs every two minutes in the U.S. It's frequent. The vast majority of men are not rapists, but nobody knows who is a rapist until it happens.

Creepy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed men do this to women's bodies. It's happened many times to me. I don't think it's appropriate, and I think men do it without thinking about it. I'd just drop it this one time, but if it happens again I'd say something.

Women touch men all the time. The difference is men aren't on a hair trigger to get offended.

The difference is that women don't rape men all the time. Do you feel visceral fear when a woman touches you? Women feel it ALL THE TIME when men do it.

Wow! You need some therapy to get over this. You think men rape women all the time? You've really bought into some extreme propaganda. I sincerely hope you don't speak for all women when you say they have fear every time a man makes contact with them.

For the people saying that this is just a gentlemanly thing to do, I disagree. I'm generally a gentlemanly guy, raised in the south in a formal way. I open doors for women (and men), let women get into/out of elevators first, etc. I would never touch another woman's lower back. That's not gentlemanly. I've never even seen that. Now I don't necessarily think it's nefarious or wildly inappropriate. Some people are just more prone to touching others, both men and women.

I would be uncomfortable too, but I'm a weirdo with a very large personal bubble. I am absolutely not huggy or touchy feely. Unless you're my husband.

My husband is a touchy guy but he's not doing it to be pervy. I could see him guiding a woman like that.

The other day he told me a story about how he went to apologize to a female coworker who was super ticked about something and he put his hands on her shoulders to attempt a sincere apology. She thought he was trying to hug her and apparently it turned into a very uncomfortable moment. The next day everyone was making fun of him about it.

I told him to stop touching women! Not because I think he's hitting on them but because it's unprofessional. He thinks he's being a warm and friendly Southern gentleman, but he doesn't get that other people are not just like him.

Normal but if normal makes you uncomfortable, then take note for next time.