Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's silly. Invite whoever you want (but don't exclude just a few kids or anything). If it's such a huge problem, mail invites or do e-vites, don't hand them out at school.

This.

+1

the rule in our kid's school is the teacher can only help distributing the invitation to the whole class. You can invite less if you don't need the teacher's help.

We always get this issue every year. To invite/or not invite everyone in the class. And if they will ALL show up or not. It would be bad if just a handful show up but then again, we don't want all 28 kids!

In our school, they do not want us to send bday card invites through the school. Meaning, don't send your kids with the invites and have them or the teacher put them in the kids backpack.

They want us to send emails/evite by getting the info using their PTA school directory (because that's why we pay for the PTA, so we can get a directory of the kids that want to be listed). And for those who do not have their number or email listed, that's just too bad on them. Nothing you can really do about that. We tried that. We wrote a note to the 1 kid we didn't have a # or email to and that note was rejected by the teacher (she intervened).
In a few cases, your child can sneak and put the invite into the kids bag but that will most likely be intervened.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, so you have to buy 27 birthday presents for kids you presumably don't know well! In the real world, I generally know the mom inviting DD to her birthday party and can shoot her a note asking what Larla's into these days.

That sucks! That's also 27 weekends that you're booked up!

OP, just tell the teacher you'll gladly comply with school guidelines when they have 15-20 kids per class.

Until then...

Anonymous wrote:This is absurd. Obviously you shouldn't exclude just a few kids, but how can the teacher regulate birthday parties like this? At our school, there are guidelines, but not rules.

+1.

It's your party, not that teacher's (unless s/he wants to organize and fund it, of course)

Anonymous wrote:Teacher has no say over this, and I would tell them so.

Yup.

She may mean if you bring in the invitations to invite everyone.

That is why Evite was created. and you can even hide the guest list for nosy moms.

If you have it during the soccer season on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, you'll have some kids who can't come due to rec or travel soccer commitments. (probably more rec at this age.) We had to schedule our daughter's birthday party on a Saturday evening because all of our Saturday and Sunday afternoons are full of soccer games or other commitments, and we've had to move some scout meetings around due to soccer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's silly. Invite whoever you want (but don't exclude just a few kids or anything). If it's such a huge problem, mail invites or do e-vites, don't hand them out at school.

This.

+1. Teacher can GET OVER IT.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to defend the school here -- because it could well be the type of school that has a lot of queen bee / bullying issues. It may have put this more extreme policy in place because it has had some extreme issues.

So what? Deal with that sort of bad behavior if it occurs at school or school events. What happens outside of school, on families' own time, at private social gatherings is neither the school's business nor the school's problem/responsibility to regulate.

It's an absurd "rule" that is most likely unenforceable other than not allowing invitations to be handed out at school. Which isn't really much of a problem.

I'm going to defend the school here -- because it could well be the type of school that has a lot of queen bee / bullying issues. It may have put this more extreme policy in place because it has had some extreme issues.

That said, I do agree 28 kids is a lot for most venues. You could look for a venue that could handle 28 kids -- like a community center attached to a park where the kids can go out and play.

You could plan a party with a theme that some the opposite sex won't be into -- and reduce attendance that way. Like some kind of an art or princess party for a girl -- or a soccer or karate party for a boy. You could also try the long weekend approach.

Or maybe you could half comply -- by inviting either all of the same sex or none. Then don't invite ANY of the other sex from the class.

Wow, so you have to buy 27 birthday presents for kids you presumably don't know well! In the real world, I generally know the mom inviting DD to her birthday party and can shoot her a note asking what Larla's into these days.

That sucks! That's also 27 weekends that you're booked up!

I agree with everyone saying the school can shove it. They are basically saying you can't have a party, since most homes can't accommodate 28 kids and doing a party for that many kids at a location is prohibitively expensive.

Also, I have a second grader and that's well old enough to know who your actual friends are. I can't imagine my 7 year-old would be hurt if someone (particularly opposite sex) that she wasn't close to had a party without inviting her.