Anonymous wrote:

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Some studies show men cheat when they feel emotionally disconnected, but if you read on these boards what happens when the sex dries up - men say they feel emotionally disconnected. A lack of sex is among the root causes of the emotional disconnect. Which is also why men don't leave their wives for APs. They aren't unhappy in the marriage, they are unhappy with the lack of sex. (other studies show the prime reason men cheat is for sex).

If you want to think there is no difference between the likelihood of a man cheating in a sexually fulfilling marriage or a man in a sexless marriage, go for it, it must provide you some comfort.

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. Dude, everything you wrote could have been summarized in 1-3 (incorrect) sentences. Their sex life is great and I know because her DH used to turn my stomach by making references to how naughty his good wife could be[b]. Ugh, that reminds me of another reason I don't like him. Imagining that super average bore of a man having sex always irritated DH and I. Has it really not occurred to you that good sex isn't enough?

Okay, back to reading the thread.

That is really inappropriate. Was he hitting on you?

Anonymous wrote:To ask about a type that gets cheated on implies there's something about the spouse that causes the cheating. Cheating is all about the cheater, and not their spouse. Anyone can get cheated on.

No two people can meet the others' needs perfectly all the time over a lifetime. The spouse is in the same marriage, with the same problems and doesn't choose to cheat. It's about the cheater's lack of character.

What holds a marriage together is being serious about the commitment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

OP here. Dude, everything you wrote could have been summarized in 1-3 (incorrect) sentences. Their sex life is great and I know because her DH used to turn my stomach by making references to how naughty his good wife could be[b]. Ugh, that reminds me of another reason I don't like him. Imagining that super average bore of a man having sex always irritated DH and I. Has it really not occurred to you that good sex isn't enough?

Okay, back to reading the thread.

Anonymous wrote:I cheated on my DH of 17 years. He is a really good guy, a good husband and a great father.

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.

This has been proven to not be true. Sexually happy and sexually neglected men cheat at the same rate.

Anonymous wrote:Man here - interesting to see the theories being spun about. The pushover gets cheated on. No wait, its the smotherer, the clinger. Nope, its the bitch, the cold one.

All wrong.

Anyone read the thread about how often men think about sex? It's a lot. It's dominant thought process. Multiple times a day. It's about your wife, and other women. That part, no one can control. It's biology.

What you can control is where your husband's sexual energy is directed. If your sex life is stale, or non-existent, it will fixate elsewhere. This is where most (not all) men and women are different. There is no "off" switch for male sex drive. Which is why your DH is pawing at you even though you are exhausted, touched out, the house is a mess, you are sweaty and bloated. If you become his asexual wife, he will stop seeing you as sexual.

Of course, some women are great, giving lovers and they get cheated on. Monogamy is hard under the best of circumstances, people mess up. There are also a small percentage of men that are dirtbags. Men know who these men are more than women do. We see them out at conferences, business travel. They are prowling just as if they were single. Vows meant nothing to them, literally.

The rest of us, we made a commitment. We know cheating is wrong, but more than the moral aspect, we know how much we have to lose by cheating. We don't want to lose our families, which is why, as these threads say, men never leave their wives for their APs. Its sexually driven.

I promise you, if you sexually neglect your man, the risk of him cheating goes up exponentially. Which isn't to say you can ever affair-proof your marriage any more than you can accident proof your commute. But you are deluding yourself if you don't think the number 1 predictor of faithfulness is sexual satisfaction.