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Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

We plan on disclosing all including a current neuropsych eval. And we want him to get accommodations for his ADHD which private schools can and are use to providing. Our feelings are that if the school does not take him for who he is, why bother?

+1 Agree with PP that this is best strategy for long term. Goal shouldn't just be getting into a school but finding one that suits the child. If you feel need to 'hide' things about your child, you probably shouldn't be applying there in the first place.

There's such a thing as disability discrimination, that's why. There's a reason why employers can't ask you about things like this. If you think the information is not relevant to your child's success at the school, then there is no reason to disclose it. But, this PP thinks that it is relevant, so I agree that it should be disclosed. But there's no need to disclose anything more than what's required. Why send in the full neuropsych report?

Why not? They will have his grades, standardized test scores, recommendations, IEP, a record of his accomplishments and talents, etc. The neuropsych eval will give a fully rounded picture of who he is and how he learns.

If the school "discriminates" just because he has a disability, I would not want him at the school.

Also for the SSAT, PSAT, SAT, GREs, MCAT, etc if you want accommodations for a disability
, you have to submit a full neuropsych eval to the college board or whoever runs the testing so submitting a full neuropsych eval to a school where DS will be spending middle school and high school is reasonable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

We plan on disclosing all including a current neuropsych eval. And we want him to get accommodations for his ADHD which private schools can and are use to providing. Our feelings are that if the school does not take him for who he is, why bother?

+1 Agree with PP that this is best strategy for long term. Goal shouldn't just be getting into a school but finding one that suits the child. If you feel need to 'hide' things about your child, you probably shouldn't be applying there in the first place.

When you are filling out private school applications, they ask if your child has an IEP or a 504 Plan. If you check yes - they ask for a copy of it.

You have to sign the form saying that everything you've submitted is true to the est of our knowledge.

If you lie and say you don't have one when your child does - you're lying. I suppose you can check the yes box, and decline to submit. But I'm pretty sure you won't get admitted and the school isn't discriminating, they're just saying that they weren't given enough data to determine whether they can meet the student's needs.

You can get a shorter neuropsych from the person who did their testing, and exclude things like the exhaustive family medical history section. But you should disclose.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

We plan on disclosing all including a current neuropsych eval. And we want him to get accommodations for his ADHD which private schools can and are use to providing. Our feelings are that if the school does not take him for who he is, why bother?

+1 Agree with PP that this is best strategy for long term. Goal shouldn't just be getting into a school but finding one that suits the child. If you feel need to 'hide' things about your child, you probably shouldn't be applying there in the first place.

There's such a thing as disability discrimination, that's why. There's a reason why employers can't ask you about things like this. If you think the information is not relevant to your child's success at the school, then there is no reason to disclose it. But, this PP thinks that it is relevant, so I agree that it should be disclosed. But there's no need to disclose anything more than what's required. Why send in the full neuropsych report?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

We plan on disclosing all including a current neuropsych eval. And we want him to get accommodations for his ADHD which private schools can and are use to providing. Our feelings are that if the school does not take him for who he is, why bother?

+1 Agree with PP that this is best strategy for long term. Goal shouldn't just be getting into a school but finding one that suits the child. If you feel need to 'hide' things about your child, you probably shouldn't be applying there in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

We plan on disclosing all including a current neuropsych eval. And we want him to get accommodations for his ADHD which private schools can and are use to providing. Our feelings are that if the school does not take him for who he is, why bother?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

If you don't think he needs any accommodations at these schools, then I'd consider not even disclosing the IEP and diagnosis. Arguably it's an ADA violation for them to even ask that question.

OP, I think you're looking at this from the wrong end. Your mission is not to get your child into a private school in 6th grade; your mission is to give your child the best education possible to enable him to develop all his strengths and remediate his weaknesses to the greatest extent possible. That may include admission to a mainstream private school in 6th grade and it may not, but it definitely should include specific interventions now that can only be had in the public schools via a 504 or IEP.

Give him what he needs now to develop the best he can. Decide his future schooling in the future. If there is a school that would not admit him based on your giving him what he needed at a young age, then it will not give him what he needs at 6th grade or 8th or 10th. It's not like college where you do whatever you can to get into the highest-ranked school possible; you need to find the best fit possible to help your child develop optimally.

I know this because I had exactly the same worries you did when my DCs were in kindergarten. They both went to SN private schools and it was the best thing I could have done for both of them. They are older now and flourishing in more mainstream environments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

Anonymous wrote:Wrong law, PP. The ADA is different and they could be liable if they get any public money or tax breaks or anything like that. This could include support from the police for traffic control.

ADA only comes into play if the school, say, doesn't have an elevator. It has nothing to do with IDEA implementation. The case law on educational accommodations in non-profit schools is well settled. Even if they hire off-duty MPD for traffic control

I agree with the others that it's the needs themselves that would make a mainstream private a poor fit and not the existence of an IEP itself.

If an IEP helps your child to be more successful now, take it. Success builds on itself and doing well now can only help in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This discussion really emphasizes for me why I would not want my SN or NT children to attend one of these schools. They basically blatantly discriminate and you are left with a student body that is very homogeneous at least in terms of disability. It is not good for kids to never be exposed to people with SN or to think they are a special class that should be kept somewhere else.

I thinks some private school parents feel like they are buying a homogenous Truman show-like school and classmates. All unpleasantness and undesirables belong with the unwashed masses in public school.

Yeah, and it won't be just SN kids who are part of the "unwashed masses."

Anonymous wrote:This discussion really emphasizes for me why I would not want my SN or NT children to attend one of these schools. They basically blatantly discriminate and you are left with a student body that is very homogeneous at least in terms of disability. It is not good for kids to never be exposed to people with SN or to think they are a special class that should be kept somewhere else.

I thinks some private school parents feel like they are buying a homogenous Truman show-like school and classmates. All unpleasantness and undesirables belong with the unwashed masses in public school.

OP didn't say whether her child had any behaviors that are often found in kids with even mild ASDs. Any behaviors would really push the needle to a "no" from privates.

OP just got a diagnosis. She sees her future plans changing to some degree. The road ahead is not clear. We have all been there. Please do not think that what worked for child #1 will be what child #2 needs.

There is a lot of road between now and middle school! Your child is going to change significantly. His needs now may not be the same in 4 years. Some things may be better. Some may be worse.

My advice: take the IEP. See if that is helping your child. Look into private SN schools but don't discount that public may be the better fit for this child.

OP,

I think it really depends on the school. I know lots of kids with ADHD, kids that do outside tutoring for reading or OT, and kids on the spectrum who do great at their private schools that are not for special need kids. There are public school programs that focus on twice exceptional or MAP--gifted and having a LD or autism, etc.

Tour schools that are within your budget, commute, and have the focus that you think your kid needs academically. You'll get a sense from the administration, teaching approach, and other parents if this a school would be the right fit. Speak frankly with admissions people. It's best to be upfront if your kid has an IEP or 504. Not disclosing, could result in expulsion, but truly, you don't want to put your kid in an untenable situation.

Good admissions staff can tell you upfront and politely if the school would be a good fit. If they are incredibly vague or they lay it on really thick about they just are the school for everyone, either they don't want to be frank that it's not the right school or they need to build class size.

Some admissions people just tip toe around everything b/c they're trying to cover their butts legally, but you're just wasting your time and money applying b/c they have no intention of accepting your kid. I agree with the PP who said to put some SN schools into the mix. It's good to have a fall back plan.

Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

OP here - this is very much in line with what the neuropsychologist and DC's therapist have both said. We believe the IEP or 504 will deal mostly with social/communication issues though we'll only ultimately know for sure once we eventually have that meeting in a few weeks. DC has friends in the class and is widely recognized by students and teachers alike as being thoughtful, respectful, caring and inclusive. We know DC has had some difficulties in maintaining friendships but we've seen some positive changes in that over the summer and even in the early part of this new school year (invited to parties, play dates, etc.)

I really do appreciate the thoughts and view by the many who have posted here.