I can most definitely tell this is the case with my SIL. Preferential treatment goes towards her sister's kids. She talks about how her kids will be best friends with her sister's kids. She never says that about my kids or my siblings' kids.

Depends on the individual. Some of my spouse's nieces are pretty obnoxious and small minded adults, so I don't feel a connection there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, my spouse's nieces and nephews are my nieces and nephews.

Me too. I think drawing the distinction is weird--my spouse's sister's kids also refer to me as their aunt.

This.
Honestly, I'd never heard of making a distinction (i.e., "my husband's niece" vs "our niece") until moving to this area.
My perspective may be different, because I'm an only child, but I consider DH's brother's daughter my niece, blood relation or not. I love her to bits.

I definitely love my nieces and nephews more than his. No question. We see them more. And they are cuter and smarter and share my genes.

There aren't any on my side so only DHs side. The youngest was about 5 when I came along 30 years ago and I like her the most. I think because I saw her grow up. My kids are 15-20 years younger than their cousins so it's a bit unusual.

Lol my DH loves my brothers kids more than I do. DH is an only so they're the only nephews.

Yeah. I think a lot of it goes to the fact that I don't like my wife's brothers or their wives. My wife doesn't like her sister in laws, either. So, we made a decision to not engage with them beyond a very, very light superficial level. I don't really know those kids, so obviously I like them less than the nieces and nephews on my side who my wife and I are incredibly close to (because my wife likes my sisters and my side of the family more than her own).

I have a feeling of blood bond with many of my blood relatives that is distinct from other kinds of family love. It has something to do with family resemblances. I get to see my late grandmother's twinkly blue eyes in one of my nephews, and my favorite uncle's mannerisms in another nephew. We have certain memories in common. Those create special bonds.

But overall, I like family members, whether related to me or to my husband, based on their own personalities. I adore spending time with one of my husband's nieces, just because of her personality. My own blood niece, I love but find dull.

Anonymous wrote:No, I like my spouse's nieces and nephews better than my siblings children!

^ This.

My in-laws' kids are awesome and driven. My brothers' and sisters' kids are lazy white trash.

I don't have any nieces or nephews as my sister doesn't have children. I don't feel love for my husband's nieces and nephews to be honest- in the 14 years of our relationship, I have only met them twice. DH and his brother never talk. So yeah, no feelings for them. I know it's cold but they're strangers to me.

I love my sibling's kids but I am indifferent to dh's sib's offspring.

We have a bunch on my side and just one sib on husband's side. I like mine better, but they are much better behaved. As these kids grow up they will probably get better though (I hope). I really wish there was an additional sib on DH's side with kids so I could have another "test case". I'm sure it's more the actual behavior than the relationship!

Anonymous wrote:I do not love my nieces or nephews on either side. That sounds cold. I feel some degree of kinship, but love is way too strong a word, especially since I have my own children.

Why why on earth would having your own kids prevent you from loving any other kids? It's not like you would be committing parental infidelity by loving your nieces & nephews!

We only have kids on my side of the family. I adore them. My husband does not.

Anonymous wrote:For me, my spouse's nieces and nephews are my nieces and nephews.

Me too. I think drawing the distinction is weird--my spouse's sister's kids also refer to me as their aunt.