Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have to say anything, please decide to be polite, kind, respectful of your elders, sensitive, etc. Maybe he did not have permission to take the granddaughter to the park. Maybe he was staying close to watch a sick wife or waiting for his child to call. Maybe it is no BFD.

OP here. He is not elderly, he still works full time. I believe at FT Belvoir. And his kids were right there watching, just from their own yard. I introduced myself to them, they walked over to the fence to say hi and they seem nice.

He was weird to do this. Don't let anyone put you on the defensive about this - YOU are in the right Op. You are correct in thinking this behavior is abnormal.

It's SO odd. My yard is an extension of my home, therefore I would not want anyone coming into my (fenced!!) yard to play. To me it feels like trespassing- even with no ill will. Maybe you don't even have to say something but just put a lock on the gate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. How old are his kids? How old is his granddaughter? Just ask him to ask first.

Kids in their 30s. Granddaughter 3.5.

Since the granddaughter is 3.5, I would be willing to bet that she was the instigator. Like, she was playing in grandpa's backyard, saw the swingset in your yard, decided to help herself. And then probably grandpa followed and then decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world for her to play on it for a bit.

OP here. If we didn't have a fenced in yard, I'd agree with you (I have my own 3 year old). She could easily have seen our swing set and wanted to come and play. Even made it as far as our gate. But you have to reach over our fence to open the gate. It's kind of a rusty mechanism and you have to jiggle it a bit to get in. No way a 3 year old got in on her own. Someone had to let her in. And while opening the gate, if you look to the right you will see a neighborhood playground just one more house distance down, with no fence around it. Very easy to distract a 3 year old with "no, let's just go across the street--see that playground there? It's so much more fun!"

Anonymous wrote:"Hey, it was nice seeing your granddaughter the other day. DH and I talked, though, and we're just not comfortable with others using our yard, especially when we're not home."

Then get a lock for the gate. Perfectly reasonable request, OP.

Yep.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. How old are his kids? How old is his granddaughter? Just ask him to ask first.

Kids in their 30s. Granddaughter 3.5.

Since the granddaughter is 3.5, I would be willing to bet that she was the instigator. Like, she was playing in grandpa's backyard, saw the swingset in your yard, decided to help herself. And then probably grandpa followed and then decided that it wouldn't be the end of the world for her to play on it for a bit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

"feel free to come anytime ...

And, "once the shock wore off ... "
Op, you are The Queen of mixed messages.

I never said I was perfect, nor that my reactions are always the best.

+1

ITA, OP. It is shocking behavior on the part of your neighbor - but they probably know this, and are using it to their advantage. They might want you to seem like the bad guy for pointing out that they don't belong there. Crazy, but true. I tend to believe other PP who says it might be a power play/bullying/aggressive behavior on their part. Akin to "make me" that children might say. Just nip it in the bud.

I would tell him that after thinking about it more, you realize that it's not a good idea. Especially with the dog. Then tell him nicely that they need to come and ask first. If you aren't home, they aren't to stay and play.

Anonymous wrote:

"feel free to come anytime ...

And, "once the shock wore off ... "
Op, you are The Queen of mixed messages.

I never said I was perfect, nor that my reactions are always the best.

Anonymous wrote:We had someone do this I had never seen before. Not sure where she lived. I asked her if she had the owners permission and she said the neighbor said it was ok. I asked her that wouldn't it be best to check with the owner vs a neighbor who never speaks to them. They kept playing. I asked them to leave. She kept insisting she had permission. I finally told her I was the owner and she nor the neighbors have permission to be here and the playground was a block away. She finally left. We got rid of the swing set as it happened a few more times.

With the same person? Wow, that's bad.

OP, no one has a "right" to be on your property but you and your family. Make this clear, one way or the other.

I have heard of people thinking they could use their neighbors' yard whenever they wanted. Guess what? They had a rude awakening!

We had someone do this I had never seen before. Not sure where she lived. I asked her if she had the owners permission and she said the neighbor said it was ok. I asked her that wouldn't it be best to check with the owner vs a neighbor who never speaks to them. They kept playing. I asked them to leave. She kept insisting she had permission. I finally told her I was the owner and she nor the neighbors have permission to be here and the playground was a block away. She finally left. We got rid of the swing set as it happened a few more times.

Anonymous wrote:You guys are really uptight. I would have no problem with the neighbors using my yard without asking. However, having a dog is a legitimate reason not to do that and I would talk to the parents

Who cares if we're uptight? You say that like it's a bad thing. People get to decide how their property is used. That's not uptight, that's homeownership.

"feel free to come anytime ...

And, "once the shock wore off ... "
Op, you are The Queen of mixed messages.

Anonymous wrote:This is really weird- especially if you have a fenced yard - which it sounds like you do.

Do you have their email? Of so, I would send a friendly follow up reiterating how nice it was to meet the granddaughter and that you'd like them to knock or text before coming over. You can word this firmly using the dog as the excuse while keeping the tone light and friendly. (Do not apologize!)

Hopefully, this is as far as this goes, but if it continues to be an issue, it'll be helpful to have the documentation.

This. Documentation to protect yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a fence? F not, then get one. ASAP. Very weird behavior.

Not 'Very weird' for an old who might have grown up when neighbors didn't spend their days in Bike retaliation, but were sociable instead, and beyond that HELPFUL.

I think they still would have asked first.

Dog equals lock on the fence gate. We were left with no choice when the neighbors kids kept coming into the yard uninvited and left our gates open. Dogs got out and were found safe, but we could not take that chance again. Get a lock.

Hi,

I am so sorry but my insurance told me that I am liable if anyone injures themselves on my property. Please don't use my yard without my permission or in my absence. My dog also is liable to attack if intruders come in our yard.