Anonymous wrote:i don't understand why we are all staying with husbands and wives who don't have the best sexual connection with us. Myself included. My AP included. Why? why? why?

Because sex isn't everything?

i don't understand why we are all staying with husbands and wives who don't have the best sexual connection with us. Myself included. My AP included. Why? why? why?

Sex . Cuddling. Kissing. Laughing and good conversation. Husband isn't into cuddling and our kissing connection isn't great. We got married young and we were virgins. Dh is an amazing father and provider. I don't want to divorce him over this. Also , ap gives amazing massages. Dh refuses every time I ask.

I kind of do. I'm definitely emotionally attached to him. But I'd like another for more of that ... chemical high. Probably won't, though.

Anonymous wrote:I obviously won't get explicit but we are into the same kink that neither of our spouses are.

Can you give hints with out being explicit?

Other kinksters would like to know.

Anonymous wrote:I obviously won't get explicit but we are into the same kink that neither of our spouses are.

Wow!

I don't have one but my friend does. She was miserable in her marriage. Her Dh shot up the corporate ladder. She does well too but he speaks to her like an employee. He has been rude to her in front of all of us, including her family. Sometimes rude to them to. Everyone walks on eggshells around him, even his teenage sons from his first marriage. When she told me about her AP I was surprised because I didn't think she would have the nerve. She said "he's nice to her." I get it.

I obviously won't get explicit but we are into the same kink that neither of our spouses are.

Because he makes me feel wanted.

Anonymous wrote:The thing is you'll hardly ever find someone who has an AP who will also say their marriage is great and wonderful. They always say there's something missing, whether it's sexual or emotional or both. However, there definitely are people who are fine with their marriages and who also cheat. It's just getting them to admit it and talk about it that's the difficulty.

Everyone's marriage is imperfect at one time or another, especially if you've been married for a while.. Stress, kids, in laws, money, jobs, managing house work, needing to be appreciated, validated, libido changes. Not everyone has an AP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Agree. I'm a woman in her early 50s and I realized within two years of being married that monogamy was not realistic for the long haul for people with normal sex drives. I do have an AP.

As did my wife, but I allow her to play as she pleases and it doesn't bother me.

Do you love her? Not being snarky, genuinely curious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have more respect for the person willing to live and admit that monogogamy just doesn't work. It never has, that's why porn, hookers, erotic romance novels and APs exist on fringe.

Monogamy was born out of maintaining generational family wealth and had nothing to do with base sexual desires. It was making sure the baby mamma had your baby.

Agree. I'm a woman in her early 50s and I realized within two years of being married that monogamy was not realistic for the long haul for people with normal sex drives. I do have an AP.

Hot

Dreamt last night I was having an affair with Jimmy Kimmel. Very hot. Made me understand why people seek variety.

My wife should send my AP a thank you note. She is off the hook for duty sex. Now I give my wife the unsolicited back rubs with no expectations of sex from her.

Total win win.

Bump