Agree on the #1 problem being care for our three children, one still in diapers. Don't have in-laws who are young/able enough or nearby either. We have done one night getaways with nanny staying overnight but she can't do more than that. Thus, "alone as a couple" is just not an option, in general.

Anonymous wrote:Paris or Rome or somewhere where there is a lot stuff to do that wouldn't be interesting or suitable for kids.

NP. I've never been to Paris so I don't know about that but I have been to Rome and taken our kids and there was a lot of things for them. They liked wandering around the city looking at the ruins and the fountains. We only spent a few days there then went on to see Pompeii which they also liked.

We have very few chances to travel alone as a couple - in seven years of parenting, we've gone away three times with a fourth coming up in November. Twice has been to go to weddings. We love our kids but overnight babysitting is tough to come by - I hope you and your husband can agree on a place to go together!

And there is a window. Places that are great for tweens/older may not work because of their schedules. And yes, you could miss stuff, but the kids don't want to. Go now, adults only, to places you want.

We do both and my kids love to travel and they are good at it. But at least once a year we work out a trip without them - we prefer beach vacation in exotic locale - they love the beach but not the part where we sleep in, drink a lot and read books all day.

Paris or Rome or somewhere where there is a lot stuff to do that wouldn't be interesting or suitable for kids.

Anonymous wrote:I would suggest someplace like New Orleans, where you can stay out really late eating great food and listing to jazz. In other words, you want to choose a place where highlights are inconvenient for kids (e.g., late nights, wine country tours, etc.). Also, you can also visit New Orleans when the kids are older (like in HS).

Also, perhaps a hike or trek that is too physically demanding for young kids.

+1

We live far from family but we managed a 2 night get away when my parents were visiting. We went to Chicago and stayed out late at jazz bars and comedy clubs and enjoyed leisurely brunches. We also did an architecture tour and art gallery. I didn't feel the kids missed out as we purposely did stuff that was more suited to adults and they had a great time with grandparents.

I wouldn't do it at the expense of travelling with them, but it's so worth it if you can do it as well.

I would question whether my DH actually wanted to spend quality time with me if I were you. This would not be cute to me, AT ALL!

My DH had little time off when our kids were small. When he did, he wanted us to spend it as a family. You can have plenty of romance when the kids are asleep and on an evening out.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is an either/or. I think it is really important and actually one of the best things you can do for your kids is to get away from them for a while. Hopefully, you will hang out, have fun and sex and reconnect as a couple which reminds you of why you fell in love and are together for the long term. We try to get away a few times a year for a long weekend. We haven't done a week long trip away from them but that will happen eventually. We always come back refreshed and happier as a couple which makes for a happier family life.

This times a million. I learned this the hard way, through divorce. It really is very important. And as PP above said, it's not cute that your DH keeps throwing up roadblocks over the two of you going away together. It sounds like he just doesn't want to spend one-on-one time with you.

I prefer with kids in almost all circumstances. One weekend trip per year or a slightly longer one every couple of years as a couple is the most I want. Now, we both travel a bunch for work and do take trips/weekends alone with a sibling or friend too, so I don't crave that much time away from my kids.

With the kids. We have limited time off & money and really enjoy showing them cool stuff and exposing them to other places, while enjoying it ourselves. Kids are 7 & 2.5. My parents always brought us along, too (married almost 45 years now). It's a personal choice, OP, but it's not crazy to prefer bringing the kids.

Anonymous wrote:I just texted him the idea of a couples only hotel in Mexico and his response was to remind me that we want to take the kids to Tulum soon, which is true I can't win with him.

I would question whether my DH actually wanted to spend quality time with me if I were you. This would not be cute to me, AT ALL!