My 12 year old only wears jog bras, which I purchase online. The sizing is similar to normal shirts. I buy her underwear online as well. Usually around the same size as pants and shorts.

This is so strange--I have teen boys and I buy their underwear based on their pants size. I don't have to see them in their underwear to know if it fits. When it's time to size up in pants, I know it's time to size up in underwear. Or, they will tell me occasionally, "I need new underwear, this size doesn't fit me anymore." Then I buy the next size up.

If she's too embarrassed to work with a store clerk to buy a properly fitting bra, give her the instructions for how to measure herself. There WILL be trial and error, as there is for any female purchasing bras. So don't go ballistic if she buys one and decides she doesn't like it.

Time to ease up on the helicopter, OP. You cannot inspect her underwear and bras for proper fit. This has become her responsibility.

The American Eagle store also sells bras and underwear in the back, and that is a teen store.

Go to victorias secret pink store, and ask a female clerk to help her find her size, especially bra size. For bottoms, I prefer their cotton bikini underwear. Less itchy.

I agree with bralettes or sports bras as a start if she is really, really resistant. I was very self conscious, even with my mom. I was really sporty in junior high and high school so sports bras were an easy way to start.

OP,
I have a practical suggestion for you. Look up "bralettes" so you know what they are, and have a mom friend take her to get a few at Target.
They are basically sports bras with some light insert for shape and coverage, and come in S, M, L with elastic chest band.
Benefits: it is nearly impossible to buy the "wrong" size since it's a stretch chest band and adjustable straps, there is coverage so no "see through" because of the inserts, and you don't have to be fit for a cup size. It's a good beginner bra but can have some cute patterns, lace etc.
Maybe a mom friend can take her and guess if she's a S M or L?

You really don't trust her to pick out underwear that fits her? What size is her other underwear? Buy more in that size. Like, there are basically 5 sizes at VS: XS, S, M, L and XL; I can fit S or M comfortably; XS will go on but isn't super comfortable, L I could shrink in really hot water if I needed to. It's hard to screw up underwear THAT much.

If she is a basically average sized 13 year old by your estimation, I'd just go with M... it will be OK; if she's slim, go with S; if she's heavy/big boned, go with L.

Victoria's Secret also does a great job of fitting teens and a good portion of their bras and panties are fine for teens (not too risque).

She's 13, hasn't she been wearing bras Or wanting/needing one already?. You said her mother is not getting her these things, is she getting her pads/tampons?.

OP, my daughter is 12. She doesn't actually need a bra but I know all her friends are wearing them. I also know she would not want to go bra shoppingn due to embarrassment. I just went to Target and bought some little bralettes (3 pack) of Hanes or whatever in cute colors and said if she didn't like them or they didn't fit I would take them back. She huffed and puffed and took them to her room but she was wearing one the next day and every day since

My point is, it might be too embarrassing for her to do with you, with mom, or even a friend's mom. Take a stab at it based on her clothing size.

I'm assuming when you are talking about fit, you mean you want her to get something that is the right size and not inappropriate. I don't read anything weird into your query and think you are kind to work on this issue.

Anonymous wrote:Guys almost certain this poster is a creepy troll.

+1 Enough has been said here for any normal parent.

Guys almost certain this poster is a creepy troll.

I agree with PP, ask the mom of your DD's best friend.


Or
Have her measure herself
Measure loosely around the fullest part of your bust, with the tape straight across and around your back, bringing it to the front. 2. Subtract your band measurement (from step 1) from this bust measurement. The difference calculates your bra size- each inch represents a cup size.

Order a bunch of bras in various styles from aerie, she can try on at home, select what she wants and send the rest back. Once she finds a brand/style that works for her, it will get easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's almost comical you think you know how a bra is supposed to fit.

Go to Nordstrom or victoria's secret and let the professionals deal with it.

I'm a straight guy. I've taken off many bras, and gone shopping with women for bras. I know what looks right or wrong.

great, you have had sex with a woman, now you are qualified to give your daughter her first pelvic exam.

Why is her mother not dealing with this?

Omg lady, give it a frickin rest.

Ignore the bitches op. Yes, just tell her she needs a bra and give her two choices. She can go to vs and ask salesperson or go shopping with the lady friend.
You're a great dad btw. My dad did the same thing because my mother never did. All is and will be fine but i do agree she will need help from a lady to find her the correct style.

Good luck!

Single dad of three (now college-aged kids) who was in this situation because their mother was dead, PP. The posters are spot on, take her to Nordstrom and have them handle it.

Sometimes if you go to big store, the choices can be overwhelming. Start with Target or Walmart and get one packet first and ask her if she likes it.

I did that with my girls. Get 1 packet based on her top/dress size, and try it in fitting room. It only cost me about $12 for 3 Hanes training bras. There are sizing help at the back of the package.