Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he's still cheating. He probably had a plan all along: quietly cheat until your son heads off to college, and then blindside you with a divorce so he can shack up with his soulmate, the young divorcee. He's probably pissed that you caught him. Does your son know? Any chance your husband convinced you to not tell the son? I bet he still plans to bail once your kid goes to college. If kiddo is 18 when he bails, no child support! It's in his best financial interest to stick it out until the kid turns 18. Then, you sell the house and split the proceeds. No child support. Split college tuition 50-50. He'll suggest that he keeps his retirement and you keep yours. He will move in with his girlfriend, and his finances will be fine.

This is what I would worry about.

I can see this. The sick thing is H. took son to do things with H. and AP., like they went skiing, had movie nights, pizza nights, son watched her kids so they could go out. I thought husband and son were doing these things together just the two of them. I had no idea AP and her kids were involved. Son had AP's phone number in his phone and when the shit hit the fan, son starting texting my husband's AP. I felt really betrayed on every front. Son was asked not to text husbands AP after that week, and it hasn't happened again.

Omg, OP!

I hope you've spoken to a lawyer. Your husband is merely sticking it out until your kid turns 18 for financial reasons.

Here's what I would do:

1. Speak with a lawyer this week. Do not tell your husband or son (neither can be trusted).

2. Get your ducks in a row.

3. If you aren't already working FT with a salary that can support you, then get your resume in order.

Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I would be equally furious with my husband and teenager.

This is OP. Yes it was crappy. I work full time. Splitting everything would be fine, divorce is not the worst thing that could happen. It's not what I want. But I recognize the possibility. I hate throwing away our history as a family. I'll never have that again , and I value that.

This is OP - this is exactly what I'd like. I don't care that he gets coffee. I want him to care that it triggers anxiety once in a while. I want him to reassure me that the affair is over and that I'm important to him. That's all. I've told him that, the exact words. He can't say them without condemning me in some backhanded way. He'll open with (paraphrasing) since you're so (defective or insert other criticism) I'll try again to tell you I was wrong for having an affair. But what I really want to hear is that he cares about how hurt I am. I tell him exactly that, but it gets turned around all the time. I don't understand what is going on. It seems to me like I'm clear

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he's still cheating. He probably had a plan all along: quietly cheat until your son heads off to college, and then blindside you with a divorce so he can shack up with his soulmate, the young divorcee. He's probably pissed that you caught him. Does your son know? Any chance your husband convinced you to not tell the son? I bet he still plans to bail once your kid goes to college. If kiddo is 18 when he bails, no child support! It's in his best financial interest to stick it out until the kid turns 18. Then, you sell the house and split the proceeds. No child support. Split college tuition 50-50. He'll suggest that he keeps his retirement and you keep yours. He will move in with his girlfriend, and his finances will be fine.

This is what I would worry about.

I can see this. The sick thing is H. took son to do things with H. and AP., like they went skiing, had movie nights, pizza nights, son watched her kids so they could go out. I thought husband and son were doing these things together just the two of them. I had no idea AP and her kids were involved. Son had AP's phone number in his phone and when the shit hit the fan, son starting texting my husband's AP. I felt really betrayed on every front. Son was asked not to text husbands AP after that week, and it hasn't happened again.

Omg, OP!

I hope you've spoken to a lawyer. Your husband is merely sticking it out until your kid turns 18 for financial reasons.

Here's what I would do:

1. Speak with a lawyer this week. Do not tell your husband or son (neither can be trusted).

2. Get your ducks in a row.

3. If you aren't already working FT with a salary that can support you, then get your resume in order.

Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry. If it were me, I would be equally furious with my husband and teenager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and I don't understand what you want from him! Do you want him to stay home, or call you while he's out? You need to be more specific.

She doesn't want either.

She is sharing her feelings... He doesn't need to do anything, maybe hug her.

It's no different than... My mom has cancer, I am sad today. He can't fix, he doesn't need to do anything, but she should be able to share how she feels.

I simple... I'm sorry you are sad today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he's still cheating. He probably had a plan all along: quietly cheat until your son heads off to college, and then blindside you with a divorce so he can shack up with his soulmate, the young divorcee. He's probably pissed that you caught him. Does your son know? Any chance your husband convinced you to not tell the son? I bet he still plans to bail once your kid goes to college. If kiddo is 18 when he bails, no child support! It's in his best financial interest to stick it out until the kid turns 18. Then, you sell the house and split the proceeds. No child support. Split college tuition 50-50. He'll suggest that he keeps his retirement and you keep yours. He will move in with his girlfriend, and his finances will be fine.

This is what I would worry about.

I can see this. The sick thing is H. took son to do things with H. and AP., like they went skiing, had movie nights, pizza nights, son watched her kids so they could go out. I thought husband and son were doing these things together just the two of them. I had no idea AP and her kids were involved. Son had AP's phone number in his phone and when the shit hit the fan, son starting texting my husband's AP. I felt really betrayed on every front. Son was asked not to text husbands AP after that week, and it hasn't happened again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he's still cheating. He probably had a plan all along: quietly cheat until your son heads off to college, and then blindside you with a divorce so he can shack up with his soulmate, the young divorcee. He's probably pissed that you caught him. Does your son know? Any chance your husband convinced you to not tell the son? I bet he still plans to bail once your kid goes to college. If kiddo is 18 when he bails, no child support! It's in his best financial interest to stick it out until the kid turns 18. Then, you sell the house and split the proceeds. No child support. Split college tuition 50-50. He'll suggest that he keeps his retirement and you keep yours. He will move in with his girlfriend, and his finances will be fine.

This is what I would worry about.

I can see this. The sick thing is H. took son to do things with H. and AP., like they went skiing, had movie nights, pizza nights, son watched her kids so they could go out. I thought husband and son were doing these things together just the two of them. I had no idea AP and her kids were involved. Son had AP's phone number in his phone and when the shit hit the fan, son starting texting my husband's AP. I felt really betrayed on every front. Son was asked not to text husbands AP after that week, and it hasn't happened again.

Jesus Christ, that is seriously fucked up! When's the last time you checked the phone bill? Why are you with him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet he's still cheating. He probably had a plan all along: quietly cheat until your son heads off to college, and then blindside you with a divorce so he can shack up with his soulmate, the young divorcee. He's probably pissed that you caught him. Does your son know? Any chance your husband convinced you to not tell the son? I bet he still plans to bail once your kid goes to college. If kiddo is 18 when he bails, no child support! It's in his best financial interest to stick it out until the kid turns 18. Then, you sell the house and split the proceeds. No child support. Split college tuition 50-50. He'll suggest that he keeps his retirement and you keep yours. He will move in with his girlfriend, and his finances will be fine.

This is what I would worry about.

I can see this. The sick thing is H. took son to do things with H. and AP., like they went skiing, had movie nights, pizza nights, son watched her kids so they could go out. I thought husband and son were doing these things together just the two of them. I had no idea AP and her kids were involved. Son had AP's phone number in his phone and when the shit hit the fan, son starting texting my husband's AP. I felt really betrayed on every front. Son was asked not to text husbands AP after that week, and it hasn't happened again.