Op here. Evidently DS at some point promised her he won't do it (or she thought he did, b/c he does not remember making any promises of this kind). Anyway, it's certainly not dementia nor craziness. It's somehow bound up with her father (something that was important to him and hence to her; she expected my kid to honor something that was so important to er).

To the PP who asked why I allowed DS to get an earring if I knew it would bring out this sort of reaction-- honestly, I had no idea it would; it never occurred to check with my mother about this sort of what I think inconsequential fashion choice. I don't think I would have done anything differently but perhaps I would have had a conversation with her ahead of time (not because I need to ask her "permission" obviously but because I care about her feelings too and it wold have been good to clear this up ahead of time). But who knew? I really had no idea.

My parents are pretty liberal tolerant people. This just seems totally of character. In any case, nothing justifies her behavior. Anyway, enough of the vent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your mom possibly showing signs of early dementia? This is such an extreme reaction to a benign fashion choice...maybe something else is going on.

I agree. Her suddenly wanting nothing to do with her beloved grandson doesn't sound right. There is more to this.

Is it possible that your son and his grandma had words that you don't know about? Or like PP suggested, maybe this is a symptom of dementia?

Believe it or not, there are actually people who behave this way. My mom does the same thing. All love is conditional to them. They think it's okay to bully someone into doing what they want. It's a good lesson for OP's ds on how not to treat people he cares about.

Yep, we've got one of these punishers in our family, too. Fun times.