Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 14:49     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like a loser. What is YOUR income? My DH doesn't care if I work or not.


Wow. I think you're the loser, PP. Whose DH "doesn't care" if you work or not?
Mine.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 14:41     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find it mind boggling that someone would divorce over that.


I don't really get it either. There must be more going on for divorce.

I can see divorcing if someone is just lazy and dead weight in the marriage, or resentful about something else. But who is like, "I hate having someone cook for me, take care of my children, and spending most of their time and energy being attentive to my happiness and the happiness of our household. I want a divorce!"







As a single parent, I think that the provider who would divorce under this circumstance is under a ton of stress. I would love to have another working adult to help out. I would never marry a person who doesn't work or want to continue working. I also wouldn't marry someone who would could relieve some of my financial stress by working and chooses not to.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 14:34     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:I find it mind boggling that someone would divorce over that.


I don't really get it either. There must be more going on for divorce.

I can see divorcing if someone is just lazy and dead weight in the marriage, or resentful about something else. But who is like, "I hate having someone cook for me, take care of my children, and spending most of their time and energy being attentive to my happiness and the happiness of our household. I want a divorce!"





Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 14:09     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
I find it mind boggling that someone would divorce over that.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:57     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like a loser. What is YOUR income? My DH doesn't care if I work or not.


What difference does his income make? Assuming he isn't an uber high, typical DCUM'er wouldn't you want a spouse who engages in the workplace and has experiences of her own?


I bet he doesn't make much. Maybe he needs to fix himself first.

My DH doesn't care if I work or not or have experiences of my own, LOL. He wants me happy. I can have experiences at work or AT HOME.
Threads like this make me so appreciative of DH.

Wow you are very defensive. You must know deep down you are a losers and can not hold a job in today's market place. Did you go to college? I hope not...it would be a shame to waste a slot on someone who stays at home.


I still choose to work prn as an RN. I have a BSN.
An education is never wasted.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:55     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like a loser. What is YOUR income? My DH doesn't care if I work or not.


Wow. I think you're the loser, PP. Whose DH "doesn't care" if you work or not?

Why are you surprised that my DH wants me happy and isn't money hungry?


So why shouldn't DW want DH to be happy and go back to work and perhaps alleviate financial stress he feels as the sole provider, especially if that's the plan that was agreed upon?

Thank god that my DH doesn't stress about that stuff.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:31     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like a loser. What is YOUR income? My DH doesn't care if I work or not.


What difference does his income make? Assuming he isn't an uber high, typical DCUM'er wouldn't you want a spouse who engages in the workplace and has experiences of her own?


Is the workplace the only way to have experiences of your own? I like my job and it is intellectually stimulating, but I have far richer experiences outside of my career. My partner is in the same field and he has essentially the same day as I do, barring things we legally can't discuss due to privacy laws. He might like hearing about a day I spent volunteering at DD's school.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:28     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All of the posters on this thread who mention that a husband should let their wife stay home if that makes them happy must have a pretty good financial cushion. Just because something makes you happy doesn't mean that is what is best for your family. Most families, even in this delusional area, need dual income to live a comfortable life. I don't think there is anything wrong with a husband wanting his wife to work.


I agree with this. It's not just providing for a family and your own retirement as a couple, but it's also about modelling for your kids financial responsibility. I'm not a believer everyone needs to work 80 hours a week, but I am a believer everyone should contribute financially to a household.

BTW: I divorced my DH because he would not--and I mean literally--would not go back to work. He was working full-time when we met and dated and married. Then he lost his job while I was pregnant and pretty much fell in love with staying home with baby. When baby started pre-school, he would not go back to working--even part time. We had a lot of fights and I divorced him.


My experience is similar except my DH quit his very stressful job when the kid were in ES. It was tight, but we agreed that he'd stay home for 6 mo to decompress and get re-oriented. A year and half and many arguments later, DH had made no effort to get a job. We were on the brink of losing our house because the savings we'd set aside for him to stay home were long used up and we couldn't afford it and our other HH expenses. Had we not needed his income, I would have loved for him to stay home. We just couldn't afford it and his refusal to see that killed our relationship. We divorced and he finally had to get a job.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:25     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
No, but I know about 7 couples where the wife went back to work, the husband didn't help with the hour or childcare, and she realized she was basically a single parent so she left. A couple eventually reconciled with intensive counseling, but most were a permanent split.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:17     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:All of the posters on this thread who mention that a husband should let their wife stay home if that makes them happy must have a pretty good financial cushion. Just because something makes you happy doesn't mean that is what is best for your family. Most families, even in this delusional area, need dual income to live a comfortable life. I don't think there is anything wrong with a husband wanting his wife to work.


I agree with this. It's not just providing for a family and your own retirement as a couple, but it's also about modelling for your kids financial responsibility. I'm not a believer everyone needs to work 80 hours a week, but I am a believer everyone should contribute financially to a household.

BTW: I divorced my DH because he would not--and I mean literally--would not go back to work. He was working full-time when we met and dated and married. Then he lost his job while I was pregnant and pretty much fell in love with staying home with baby. When baby started pre-school, he would not go back to working--even part time. We had a lot of fights and I divorced him.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:08     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband would divorce me if I did go back to work lol


Agree. Lol.
My DH loves all that I do at home. Makes his life easier.


I third this. If I went back full time he would have to shorten his day to do dropoff or pickup, use his vacation days to care for sick kids, and not have dinner until 8 after we both get home and deal with hungry, needy kids and homework and chores. We did it for years and it was exhausting and I really didn't make enough to make it worth it. When dad makes $250k and has to take the day off so mom can go to work and make $60k, he is not appreciative of a working wife.


This mom makes 320k. My DH would be pissed if I decided to stay home and throw away this income. Over the long term having both parents work makes for a combined stronger income and better life.


Ok, then let's all admit this is a financial rather than a moral decision. There is nothing in the world (that is legal) that I am qualified to do for $320k. That makes this a very different decision for me. Many important decisions are made not out of different life philosophies but just different finances.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:00     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband would divorce me if I did go back to work lol


Agree. Lol.
My DH loves all that I do at home. Makes his life easier.


I third this. If I went back full time he would have to shorten his day to do dropoff or pickup, use his vacation days to care for sick kids, and not have dinner until 8 after we both get home and deal with hungry, needy kids and homework and chores. We did it for years and it was exhausting and I really didn't make enough to make it worth it. When dad makes $250k and has to take the day off so mom can go to work and make $60k, he is not appreciative of a working wife.


This mom makes 320k. My DH would be pissed if I decided to stay home and throw away this income. Over the long term having both parents work makes for a combined stronger income and better life.


Oh gosh, this old canard. Everyone is entitled to their own version of better. If your is to won, great. If someone else wants to sah and it works for their damily, great. Thief choices aren't one size fits all.


Life choices are not one size fits all, thanks autocorrect.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 13:00     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband would divorce me if I did go back to work lol


Agree. Lol.
My DH loves all that I do at home. Makes his life easier.


I third this. If I went back full time he would have to shorten his day to do dropoff or pickup, use his vacation days to care for sick kids, and not have dinner until 8 after we both get home and deal with hungry, needy kids and homework and chores. We did it for years and it was exhausting and I really didn't make enough to make it worth it. When dad makes $250k and has to take the day off so mom can go to work and make $60k, he is not appreciative of a working wife.


This mom makes 320k. My DH would be pissed if I decided to stay home and throw away this income. Over the long term having both parents work makes for a combined stronger income and better life.


Oh gosh, this old canard. Everyone is entitled to their own version of better. If your is to won, great. If someone else wants to sah and it works for their damily, great. Thief choices aren't one size fits all.
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 12:53     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, You sound like a loser. What is YOUR income? My DH doesn't care if I work or not.


Wow. I think you're the loser, PP. Whose DH "doesn't care" if you work or not?


Someone who makes a lot of money and doesn't need more?
Anonymous
Post 08/14/2016 12:50     Subject: Ever know a couple where the DH filed for divorce because the wife would not go back to work?
All of the posters on this thread who mention that a husband should let their wife stay home if that makes them happy must have a pretty good financial cushion. Just because something makes you happy doesn't mean that is what is best for your family. Most families, even in this delusional area, need dual income to live a comfortable life. I don't think there is anything wrong with a husband wanting his wife to work.