Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of this exact situation is what keeps me in my crappy marriage.

Yup.

Yeah. I get it. We weren't married, and my ex was abusive. So, we live several hundred miles from each other now (which is heaven 90% of the time), but the week kiddo comes home from summer is hell.

You weren't even married but you chose to have a child with him?

Poor kid. I can see years of this kind of problem ahead for him.

Hey, judgemental jerk. If you don't have anything nice or helpful to say, don't say it. I am a new poster who is married to a great guy but I know so many women who deal with abusive exes and their manipulative BS every day. My sister has a narcissistic ex. He gives his kids frozen pancakes all the time, doesn't pay his child support, texts photos of himself (despite a PFA), and acts like an overgrown attention seeking toddler. Women (or in some cases men) who deal with abusive, controlling, personality disordered exes need support, not criticism. To all of you dealing with this, I take my hat off to you and wish you peace among the chaos.

What is wrong with frozen pancakes? My kid loves pancakes and eats them every day. Very little difference from the box and frozen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of this exact situation is what keeps me in my crappy marriage.

Yup.

Yeah. I get it. We weren't married, and my ex was abusive. So, we live several hundred miles from each other now (which is heaven 90% of the time), but the week kiddo comes home from summer is hell.

You weren't even married but you chose to have a child with him?

Poor kid. I can see years of this kind of problem ahead for him.

Hey, judgemental jerk. If you don't have anything nice or helpful to say, don't say it. I am a new poster who is married to a great guy but I know so many women who deal with abusive exes and their manipulative BS every day. My sister has a narcissistic ex. He gives his kids frozen pancakes all the time, doesn't pay his child support, texts photos of himself (despite a PFA), and acts like an overgrown attention seeking toddler. Women (or in some cases men) who deal with abusive, controlling, personality disordered exes need support, not criticism. To all of you dealing with this, I take my hat off to you and wish you peace among the chaos.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fear of this exact situation is what keeps me in my crappy marriage.

Yup.

Yeah. I get it. We weren't married, and my ex was abusive. So, we live several hundred miles from each other now (which is heaven 90% of the time), but the week kiddo comes home from summer is hell.

You weren't even married but you chose to have a child with him?

Poor kid. I can see years of this kind of problem ahead for him.

Also PP, keep those photos in case he takes you back to court. Or he accuses you of neglect.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully things have evened out for you, OP. I just found this thread and wanted to chime in to say that I'm in a similar boat, except the custody is split, so there's constant transitioning from one set of food rules to another. But to make matters worse, ex actually texts me posed pictures of DS smiling and eating crap. I never react, but he keeps doing it. Nice, huh?

Wow, that's really childish. I'm the OP, and it's gotten to the point that I don't discuss food with my ex at all, because he just doubles down. So, kid eats crap at dads, and decent food at moms.

Hopefully things have evened out for you, OP. I just found this thread and wanted to chime in to say that I'm in a similar boat, except the custody is split, so there's constant transitioning from one set of food rules to another. But to make matters worse, ex actually texts me posed pictures of DS smiling and eating crap. I never react, but he keeps doing it. Nice, huh?

Anonymous wrote:You're doing a good job, OP. Really.

OP here. Thank you! Little by little things are going back to normal. It's also nice to get reassurance that we're doing ok.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your son needs to ease into things. Give him fried chicken but make him take the fried skin off. Today fries, tomorrow half fries and half baked potato.

Today yogurt with 10 m&ms, tomorrow yogurt with 5, etc.

Ease him back. It's hard.

NOPE.
Do not ease him in. Stick to your rules. He won't starve.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. You two need to grow up and become better coparents for your child's sake.

Oh my god. Jeff would remove my post if I said what I thought.

- not OP

You're doing a good job, OP. Really.

Yikes, I think 5 guys is worse than McDonald's actually.

I'm the OP, and my son is getting better about the food. He discovered last week that asparagus is delicious, and that he likes cod. He will finally eat fish!! It's a small miracle.

We're still working through some other issues, but mostly things are better.

Wait, your XH feeds his child? That's so weird because my XH doesn't care for the expense of feeding our children on visitation days---certainly not more than ONE.

He used to bring them home famished and exhausted. They're old enough to make demands. Five Guys is the best he's ever managed. That's maybe 1 out of every 15 visits. Otherwise, it's McDonald's. Each and every time.

We've shortened the days, so that I can provide them with breakfast and dinner. He'll swing by McDonald's before dropping them off, only if I text to ask if they've been fed.

An entire summer of this would be INSANE, OP. I'm sorry you have to manage the transition back to nutrition.

It's not fair that you look to be the Bad Guy in this situation either.

{{hugs}}

Step mom and wife of a Disneyland Dad here. We have the opposite problem. Bio mom feeds them horrendous food and I can't get them to touch a fruit or a veggie. Because she's basically raising them on her own and she works full time and something has to give. I totally understand that. So, just wanted to say nice work serving healthy food-hope your kid eats soon!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids spend the entire summer with their dad in another state, and they started when my youngest was going into second grade. We have never had this problem. From the beginning, we told them that dad's rules were at his house and my rules at my house. No arguments. They have always transitioned with no problems.

OP here. This isn't helpful, because it sounds like your ex is a normal human.

Currently my child is "in trouble" at dads because he forgot to tell the pediatrician something small, and my ex said that he (ex) got in trouble because of it.

Basically, he's a man child. And he's determined to make my house the "bad house" so that my child will be willing to tell a judge that DC wants to live with dad when he's old enough.

Op is spot on! It's difficult to relate if you are actually able to co-parent with someone who is well balanced mentally. If you don't have an ex who has a high conflict personality, then it's impossible to understand this life. It tough navigating these murky waters and transitions are tough (I have a high conflict, Disney Dad on the other side, too).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going into 2nd grade. Aside from food, it's been our easiest transition yet. I just can't wait for ds to get back into eating our normal food and stop throwing fits over it. He ate so well last year, and I hate having to start over.

At that age? He will eat if he is hungry (unless he has an underlying health concern that you didn't mention here).
Put your foot down. You are not dad (and I am one of those children of divorced parents who constantly threatened her mom with "if x, I will move in with daddy" - of course daddy didn't want me full time but...). Your house, your rules, your dinner. He eats his school lunch and dinner you prepare for him or he does not. His choice. If you know that he used to eat what you are serving before he stayed with dad, he will turn around again.
Good luck and hang in there!

OP here again. Thanks. The food is getting easier. Other things are not (see above).