6 months to a year isn't a HUGE deal. Just keep in mind there are factors other than egg age in one'sability to carry a pregnancy, so your frozen embryos are no guarantee. Not trying to project or freak you out but it took us 3 years to finally carry a pregnancy to term (started at 30) and eggs were not a problem. At the least it's worth considering with a Dr whether the health issues you mentioned could be problematic in terms of carrying a pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:DH wants kids ASAP. I want to wait 6 months to a year before I get pregnant. I am really loving my independence and job and being a fabulous 35 year old. Is that a huge mistake? Will I look back one day and wish I had done it sooner? I'm not a huge kid person and while I do want them, I'm just can't get that excited about it.

OP, I was you exactly, although I'd been married for a little longer.

I knew I wanted to have a baby, but I wasn't "that excited" either. I was scared about all the typical things -- will I be a good mom? What will happen to my marriage? Let's not even get into the whole "what ifs" -- what if I have twins? What if my child has a health problem? How will I juggle a job and a family? Will I ever have time to myself again?

Since you know you want a kid, just do it. Time is going to go by whether you do it now or not. It sounds like you and DH have your stuff together.

We were together for 18 yrs before we had our kid. Had ALOT of fun while child free and I got pregnant within 6 months without help except with an ovulation monitor at 41. Kid is now 9 and we are retired.

It worked out great for us. Do what will work for you!

Anonymous wrote:
In my book, the only time to have a baby is when you can't NOT have a baby. You need to be fully onboard. Take the year.

I disagree. I was fine never having kids when I got pregnant. It's not black and white for everyone, and it really shouldn't be because there's a lot to consider.

You're too old to wait any longer unless you just don't want kids, which is also a totally valid choice.

I LOVED the four years of marriage me and my DH had together kid-free. In total, we were together and/or married for 10 years before kids, and it was AWESOME. We traveled the world, moved three times (different states) and had a blast. I always recommend people at least hold off one year prior to kids, since the word changes once you bring a kid. You are never again that foot-loose (ie last minute three week trip to Thailand, alas, can't happen until kiddos leave the nest).

BUT, we got married at 27--- so my calculus is difference since I was done having kids at 35 (first at 31 second at 34). I love our pre-kid freedom, don't regret it one second. But look forward to having them get older so we can have more of our freedoms back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want more than one -- then time to get started. You are already considered "advanced maternal age" by doctors and will require all sorts of extra tests during your pregnancy. It could take 6 months to get pregnant (if all goes well, no miscarriage, etc.), then 9 months before you deliver, and it will take at least 6 months before you could start trying for a 2nd. Your odds of a successful pregnancy drop 15% every year from 35 onwards. Get to it!

Source? This would mean that every child born to a 42-year-old is a miracle of science ...

Not the PP, but here's a graph.

So, if she waits a year, she goes from an 18% chance per month to a 17% chance at age 36. At age 20 she only had a 20% chance, per this chart. And OP has frozen embryos. She has this time, but if after whatever agreed-upon 6-months-to-a-year period she's still hemming and hawing, then she and her husband need to make some big decisions.

Don't let people freak you out. I had first at 38 and 2nd at 41. Bit conceived naturally with no assisted fertility.

OP, here's my story. I always wanted kids in a hypothetical sense - I liked them when I babysat or held my cousin's kids. But when it became time to "try" or pick a date to try, I was a bit ambivalent. (I was around your age, 34). And definitely a little worried and scared about what it mean.

It took me 5 months to get pregnant, and then I had a miscarriage, and even then I still felt a bit ambivalent. Then I got pregnant again and became a mother. A dozen years in, it is the single best thing I've ever done in my life. And I say this as someone who is an adventurous traveler and who has a somewhat impressive career, so it's not as if I don't have any other accomplishments.

For me, I think it takes me awhile to adjust to change, and that's why I felt the way I did in my mid-30s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want more than one -- then time to get started. You are already considered "advanced maternal age" by doctors and will require all sorts of extra tests during your pregnancy. It could take 6 months to get pregnant (if all goes well, no miscarriage, etc.), then 9 months before you deliver, and it will take at least 6 months before you could start trying for a 2nd. Your odds of a successful pregnancy drop 15% every year from 35 onwards. Get to it!

Source? This would mean that every child born to a 42-year-old is a miracle of science ...

Not the PP, but here's a graph.

So, if she waits a year, she goes from an 18% chance per month to a 17% chance at age 36. At age 20 she only had a 20% chance, per this chart. And OP has frozen embryos. She has this time, but if after whatever agreed-upon 6-months-to-a-year period she's still hemming and hawing, then she and her husband need to make some big decisions.

You may never feel ready, OP. I never did. I kept waiting, thinking that I would feel ready at some point and that I would somehow know with 100% certainty when I was ready. But it never happened. If I hadn't gotten pregnant by surprise at age 35 (we were not trying), I don't know if I ever would have felt ready enough to pull the trigger. Once I got over the initial shock of finding out I was pregnant, I haven't looked back. It's been awesome. Expecting our second in about a month. And not surprisingly, I hemmed and hawed about whether to have a second, too, I wasn't sure if I was ready!

OP, this is how I felt. I was younger, though, so age wasn't a concern. DH wanted kids - LOTS of kids - and I was ambivalent about having any. We agreed, tentatively, on 2 - I wanted 1, but he did not want to have an only child.

When we decided to start TTC and I stopped taking birth control, I did so thinking that I would have some time to ease into the idea of pregnancy and motherhood. I got pregnant on the first cycle. DH took a picture of me after I took the test and the look on my face is pretty priceless.

I got used to it. Fortunately, it was an easy pregnancy and DD was an easy baby. Being a mom came a lot more naturally to me than being an aunt or a babysitter (things that always felt fairly awkward). I'm not super mom - not great with playing make believe games, getting down on the floor with babies, doing crafts, etc., but pretty great anyway.