Anonymous wrote:There are some weird assumptions in this post. We don't live in DC yet we still save 100k for retirement, 45k for college, 1000 a month on kids activities, 4K on kids summer camp, 30-40k on travel. I'm not sure why you think this lifestyle is particular to DC or NY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from southern NJ (no where near NYC). It's the type of town where people go to HS, go to Rutgers or Rowan/TCNJ or Drew or wherever for college, and then settle down in their hometown or within 20 miles of it. Going to Philly for the work is going to the "big city" -- no one wants that unless they can't find a job in south jersey. If you're well to do, it's bc you're a local business owner of a business that does well or you're a dr -- then you're flashy in your home/car/buying your kids new luxury cars at age 16 etc. to reward them for being such "good kids." Sending your kids to an ivy or OOS other than Penn State or Delaware is looked down upon as if you think the local schools aren't good enough for your child -- including amongst the wealthy business owners/drs; the mantra is -- I went to Rutgers, and I'm doing just fine, why should I waste money on UPenn even if my kid could get in.

So no - they don't have to live conservatively. If you are only sending your kid in-state and will NOT consider any other option and ESP if your kid is good -- highly ranked in his class etc. bc there is significant merit money/almost a free ride to be had in state. Take education savings out of the mix; housing isn't super expensive and some of my HS friends "bought" their childhood homes from their parents -- so I doubt it was market rates; I'm sure they save some for retirement but no one obsesses about saving $1 or $2 million or 18k/yr bc their parents and grandparents didn't do that and did just fine.

People in this area and esp on this site are climbers -- they know what options are out there and they want to try for the best -- be it schools or housing or retirement -- that means saving. When your options are more limited and you don't WANT to seek out better ones, it isn't as necessary to save.

My best friend is from S NJ. I disagree with you. Parents absolutely want to send their kids to Upenn or Harvard. Whether kid gets in or not is another story. I have lots of friends from all over NJ, PA and NY. Lots do attend state schools due to money, just like kids in VA go to the good public schools here. Not many kids are turning down Harvard to go to Rutgers. They will pick Rutgers over BU or NYU though.

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I grew up in PA, moved to NY when I was in high school, went to college and grad school in Boston and now live in DC (Virginia suburbs). When I was younger, I used to kind of look down at the townies who basically hung out with their same friends from high school in college and beyond. Now I sort of envy them. Their kids are friends. They live close to their families. They may not make a ton of money but they have wonderful lives.

We have a seven figure HHI, live in a beautiful home, drive fancy cars, go on expensive vacations but I am often homesick. We have lots of social outings that we go on but I don't really feel super close to anyone we have met here. I think it is just different when making friends later in life.

Anonymous wrote:I'm from southern NJ (no where near NYC). It's the type of town where people go to HS, go to Rutgers or Rowan/TCNJ or Drew or wherever for college, and then settle down in their hometown or within 20 miles of it. Going to Philly for the work is going to the "big city" -- no one wants that unless they can't find a job in south jersey. If you're well to do, it's bc you're a local business owner of a business that does well or you're a dr -- then you're flashy in your home/car/buying your kids new luxury cars at age 16 etc. to reward them for being such "good kids." Sending your kids to an ivy or OOS other than Penn State or Delaware is looked down upon as if you think the local schools aren't good enough for your child -- including amongst the wealthy business owners/drs; the mantra is -- I went to Rutgers, and I'm doing just fine, why should I waste money on UPenn even if my kid could get in.

So no - they don't have to live conservatively. If you are only sending your kid in-state and will NOT consider any other option and ESP if your kid is good -- highly ranked in his class etc. bc there is significant merit money/almost a free ride to be had in state. Take education savings out of the mix; housing isn't super expensive and some of my HS friends "bought" their childhood homes from their parents -- so I doubt it was market rates; I'm sure they save some for retirement but no one obsesses about saving $1 or $2 million or 18k/yr bc their parents and grandparents didn't do that and did just fine.

People in this area and esp on this site are climbers -- they know what options are out there and they want to try for the best -- be it schools or housing or retirement -- that means saving. When your options are more limited and you don't WANT to seek out better ones, it isn't as necessary to save.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in a really expensive city compared to them. I think that's a huge part of it. They probably have high HHI's compared to their neighbors, where you are middle of the pack. I think that's a huge part of it.

Interesting that people always assume their cost of living is the highest.

http://www.bestplaces.net/cost-of-living/washington-dc/bellevue-wa/250000

Wow. Seattle is actually cheaper than this suburb of Seattle. I suspect it's the Microsoft millionaire effect, but that is surprising. What if you compare Bellevue to a tony suburb like Chevy Chase? Though since Seattle is a younger city, you have was density and subsidized housing so suspect Bellevue is full of SFH for the wealthy (something like Ashburn but close to the city).

Seattle is also having an echo tech boom as companies open offices b/c cheaper than SV, so is this higher COL a recent phenomenon?

Yep, Chevy chase is far far more expensive than Bellevue

http://www.bestplaces.net/cost-of-living/chevy-chase-md/bellevue-wa/150000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in a really expensive city compared to them. I think that's a huge part of it. They probably have high HHI's compared to their neighbors, where you are middle of the pack. I think that's a huge part of it.

Interesting that people always assume their cost of living is the highest.

http://www.bestplaces.net/cost-of-living/washington-dc/bellevue-wa/250000

Wow. Seattle is actually cheaper than this suburb of Seattle. I suspect it's the Microsoft millionaire effect, but that is surprising. What if you compare Bellevue to a tony suburb like Chevy Chase? Though since Seattle is a younger city, you have was density and subsidized housing so suspect Bellevue is full of SFH for the wealthy (something like Ashburn but close to the city).

Seattle is also having an echo tech boom as companies open offices b/c cheaper than SV, so is this higher COL a recent phenomenon?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You live in a really expensive city compared to them. I think that's a huge part of it. They probably have high HHI's compared to their neighbors, where you are middle of the pack. I think that's a huge part of it.

Interesting that people always assume their cost of living is the highest.

http://www.bestplaces.net/cost-of-living/washington-dc/bellevue-wa/250000

Anonymous wrote:not everyone cares if their kid goes to a fancy college. If you don't care about paying for college and live in an area where you can comfortably retire on social security, what else is there to save for?! (Just kidding, but it may explain the non-saving mentality)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from NYC. DC is so cheap compared to NYC living. Some of our friends can't afford to buy so they continue renting $5000 2 bedroom apts in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

+1. The vast majority of our friends living in NYC spend all of their money on rent, dining out and vacations. Some of them don't even max out retirement. We would probably be made fun of if we still lived in NY because we aren't interested in spending everything we make. We max out retirement, save a good 50-75k a year and will have our house paid off in our 40s.

OK well if with all of that you never eat out or take a fun vacation .... then you are cheap!

Anonymous wrote:You live in a really expensive city compared to them. I think that's a huge part of it. They probably have high HHI's compared to their neighbors, where you are middle of the pack. I think that's a huge part of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from NYC. DC is so cheap compared to NYC living. Some of our friends can't afford to buy so they continue renting $5000 2 bedroom apts in Manhattan or Brooklyn.

+1. The vast majority of our friends living in NYC spend all of their money on rent, dining out and vacations. Some of them don't even max out retirement. We would probably be made fun of if we still lived in NY because we aren't interested in spending everything we make. We max out retirement, save a good 50-75k a year and will have our house paid off in our 40s.