Anonymous
07/25/2016 21:39
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Little three all the way!
Anonymous
07/25/2016 21:08
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of all the happy marriages I have seen, it seems that the key is to not have any preconceived notions about what a "perfect" spouse would be.
In my marriage, for example, my dh is an absolute gem. He is kind, very resourceful, very sweet, very smart, funny, mischievous, sexy and just such an overall good guy. Its important to understand that even though I am very thankful for him, he does not meet all the requirements of my "dream man list" haha. These are as follows:
- He is not in greatshape. He has a dadbod. No ripling muscles or athletlic frame here.
- He does not have a fancy high powered hot shot career.
- He is introverted and kind of dorky. Many girls would pass him up if they saw him on the street.
When I met hm, I didn't even realize I needed the qualities he had versus the qualities I thought I wanted.
This is my husband too! As time passes I keep finding more things I love about him.
+2
Anonymous
07/25/2016 20:55
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Not true. I'm a lawyer (BigLaw refugee) who makes more than enough and went to a Little 3. I'm not bald (and, given my genetics, unlikely to be).
I love my DW and my kids, and I get to spend lots of time with both. They are my priority.
Sometimes the job means I have to travel, but the amount of time I get to spend with them when I'm not on the road means that the travel isn't so bad.
It can be done.
A man who says "little 3?" Wtf?
Anonymous
07/25/2016 20:53
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Not true. I'm a lawyer (BigLaw refugee) who makes more than enough and went to a Little 3. I'm not bald (and, given my genetics, unlikely to be).
I love my DW and my kids, and I get to spend lots of time with both. They are my priority.
Sometimes the job means I have to travel, but the amount of time I get to spend with them when I'm not on the road means that the travel isn't so bad.
It can be done.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 20:40
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Not to be a cynic but.....I know ugly fat nerd men who have cheated, and the spouses who thinks everything is all roses and gravy are the main ones who get blindsided when they find out their spouse is a cheater. The marriage can be great and happy, and your spouse could still cheat.
If things are good, enjoy it for what it is, for however long it lasts.
If things are good, enjoy it for what it is, for however long it lasts.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 17:53
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
I'm another who married a nerd with a muffin top rather than a six pack. I think the obviously hot guys tend to be cheating ass holes. My husband is loyal, a great dad, and appreciates me among other things...
Anonymous
07/25/2016 17:30
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would love to date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Zero out of four. Nice guy but, really, what was I thinking? #couldhavedonesomuchbetter
What did you want in a guy that you do not have?
Anonymous
07/25/2016 17:18
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would love to date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Zero out of four. Nice guy but, really, what was I thinking? #couldhavedonesomuchbetter
Anonymous
07/25/2016 16:50
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Mine is bald, not a crazy job but makes enough, didn't go to an icy but is the smartest person I know. I love him. He's awesome and fun and up for adventures and choking on the couch and coming home early and playing with the baby and was a rock during my pregnancy and took a long paternity leave to be with her after I went to work. Oh and he can cook a mean steak and irons better than me.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 16:36
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100000
And the maturity to REALIZE this!
Anonymous
07/25/2016 16:28
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
This is so true. I have what I would consider a great relationship and a great family life. My husband is hot, helps around the house, is a great dad.
Just to keep it real though, I have to reset my expectations daily, when he helps he does it his way, I learned a while back nagging him to do it my way doesn't work. I have to live with a house that isn't just how I like it. When he cooks I get one of the same 4 dishes everytime, he dresses a little strange and is not really motivated at work. You just have to let go of a lot of things and love your spouse for who they are.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 16:19
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 15:55
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My husband is amazing and we are very happy. We have been together for over ten years, married for eight, with two kids. He does at least half the childcare and housework, we both WOTH. He is caring, sensitive, confident, and hilarious. We are really each other's best friend, although we each have friends outside of each other. He is really supportive of my ideas and goals, and I support his.
Honestly our story is kind of boring, but we are really happy and fulfilled. I think that it's such a cliche to say this, but it's true, that I believe we each make each other a better person. He softens me and makes me less harsh with others and myself, and I challenge him to be more adventurous.
I'm the guy in this same marriage. We've been together 15 years/married 13. We were just commenting today about how we're each other's best friend. I'll add that we both stay as fit/attractive as possible for ourselves and the other. We have a fulfilling sex life. Sorry if that sounds braggy or whatever but I see a lot of posts on DCUM about non-existant sex lives, etc. Anyway, if you believe everything you read on DCUM you could end up with the impression that a great marriage isn't possible. Not true.
NP- we are going on 15 years. We truely are each other's best friend and partner. There are many good marriages out there- chin up!
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” --Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 15:52
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
I used to date what my friends and I called "men of the people" - big personality, big job, big friends, etc.
I married a laid back, somewhat introverted, quiet guy. He's hilarious, but not everyone sees it. He's handsome, but not in a showy way. He's got a good job, not a great one. The most important thing to me is that for us (me and my kids), he is home. He more than pulls his weight around the house and with the kids. We are true partners. He's loyal, and kind, a great father and from a great family. Like others, he's what I didn't know I needed and wanted.
I married a laid back, somewhat introverted, quiet guy. He's hilarious, but not everyone sees it. He's handsome, but not in a showy way. He's got a good job, not a great one. The most important thing to me is that for us (me and my kids), he is home. He more than pulls his weight around the house and with the kids. We are true partners. He's loyal, and kind, a great father and from a great family. Like others, he's what I didn't know I needed and wanted.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 15:44
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Just to reiterate what others have said: it helps to be flexible to options you hadn't considered.
My husband is a big guy who farts a lot and belongs to the wrong political party. I thought I liked skinny liberals who expel no gas (among other things).
Eight years later we really have a good time together. He's a mensch, this guy. The life we have together isn't what I imagined for myself in every way, but I adore him.
He still farts too much but he's come around to my side more politically. So you can perform a public service by marrying outside your expected circle as well.
Lol. I like you!