Op here.
MIL worked before her retirement and was a breadwinner actually. However she never buys herself anything, another weird thing. She wears same stuff every single day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No not normal. She sounds like a mom to a mommas boy. Either jewish or italian.

Stop with the bigoted stereotypes.

I'm Jewish and I thought I'd heard everything...is there a stereotype about Jewish women going through purses?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not super unusual, but completely inappropriate. MIL is probably of the generation where husband made all the money, it was his money, she got an allowance, and never got to get new clothes or accessories. Her big excitement came every other year when hubby got her a new coat for Christmas and it was supposed to move her to tears with gratitude. Set some boundaries, but pity her.

How old do you suppose the MIL is that she spent her adult years in the pre-womens'-lib era? Even if MIL is 90, it's still not normal to search someone's stuff and then cry when they ask you not to. It's mental illness/personality disorder, especially as OP says her MIL is not from one of the cultures where that kind of crazy, no-boundary behavior is often "acceptable."

If you can't be a grown-up and tell someone not to search you, and you quake at the thought of them gossiping about what they find, then you deserve the life you and your man-baby have together with his dysfunctional family.

THANK you! This.

Handbag/ personal stuff is off limit to anybody. Make sure the rules apply to everyone, including your kids. Say it aloud to them, that they are not allowed to open other people personal stuffs. That way your MIL couldn't say that you're discriminating her.

I lock my bedroom door when other people/ guests are home. Make the rules that nobody in the house including kids can come to your room without permission. My personal laundry is off limit to anybody.

You just have to say no and repeat repeat repeat. My MIL always wants to wash and put away my laundry (including underwear) and I have to fight her back. Every single little aspect of our lives is something for her to discuss and opine/disagree about. I can't change her, the best I can do is periodically freak out when she goes too far. that is the only thing that works with ppl who do not have normal boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is not super unusual, but completely inappropriate. MIL is probably of the generation where husband made all the money, it was his money, she got an allowance, and never got to get new clothes or accessories. Her big excitement came every other year when hubby got her a new coat for Christmas and it was supposed to move her to tears with gratitude. Set some boundaries, but pity her.

How old do you suppose the MIL is that she spent her adult years in the pre-womens'-lib era? Even if MIL is 90, it's still not normal to search someone's stuff and then cry when they ask you not to. It's mental illness/personality disorder, especially as OP says her MIL is not from one of the cultures where that kind of crazy, no-boundary behavior is often "acceptable."

If you can't be a grown-up and tell someone not to search you, and you quake at the thought of them gossiping about what they find, then you deserve the life you and your man-baby have together with his dysfunctional family.

I was born in 1981 and my own mother had this relationship with my father, as did the vast majority of my friends' mothers. Both my grandmothers (born in the 1930s) had the same. I know women now who live in similar roles.

Anonymous wrote:This is not super unusual, but completely inappropriate. MIL is probably of the generation where husband made all the money, it was his money, she got an allowance, and never got to get new clothes or accessories. Her big excitement came every other year when hubby got her a new coat for Christmas and it was supposed to move her to tears with gratitude. Set some boundaries, but pity her.

How old do you suppose the MIL is that she spent her adult years in the pre-womens'-lib era? Even if MIL is 90, it's still not normal to search someone's stuff and then cry when they ask you not to. It's mental illness/personality disorder, especially as OP says her MIL is not from one of the cultures where that kind of crazy, no-boundary behavior is often "acceptable."

If you can't be a grown-up and tell someone not to search you, and you quake at the thought of them gossiping about what they find, then you deserve the life you and your man-baby have together with his dysfunctional family.

People that nosy and invasive are lacking quite a lot of social skills.
Now to figure out if it's cluelessness or deliberate.

This is not super unusual, but completely inappropriate. MIL is probably of the generation where husband made all the money, it was his money, she got an allowance, and never got to get new clothes or accessories. Her big excitement came every other year when hubby got her a new coat for Christmas and it was supposed to move her to tears with gratitude. Set some boundaries, but pity her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call BS on this story.

+ 1

Isn't it amazing that the idiot and weird MIL raised the perfect man who are married to ever complaining DIL?

Maybe these DCUM DILs should go to an orphanage alumni website for husbands. They want men who have everything, but parents.

Hello, weird MIL!

Anonymous wrote:Troll

+ million.

Anonymous wrote:I call BS on this story.

+ 1

Isn't it amazing that the idiot and weird MIL raised the perfect man who are married to ever complaining DIL?

Maybe these DCUM DILs should go to an orphanage alumni website for husbands. They want men who have everything, but parents.

Anonymous wrote:No not normal. She sounds like a mom to a mommas boy. Either jewish or italian.

Stop with the bigoted stereotypes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She checking out how much you spending her son's money.

I actually work my ass off as well...

NP, but I agree with the poster above. My DH does make 50% more than me, but we are both in the 6 digits and our family could survive on either of our salaries. However, my MIL always assumes when we buy something new/go on vacation/etc that it is on DH's dime/due to his hard work and success. I'm sure you do work your ass off, but either a) she doesn't think about how you are financially supporting the family- maybe due generational differences, or b) she is just so proud of her son for being able to support your lifestyle (which I'm assuming she feels is a luxurious one).

I agree you should find a way to either shut it down or deflect, but I bet this is why she wants to know.

Troll