Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on the off chance that this isn't a troll (which makes me shudder to think), OP you should save all that money adoption would cost you and invest it in a good therapist for you, a divorce lawyer for your wife and a vasectomy for the sake of humankind.

Your lack of introspection is astounding. There are dozens upon dozens of threads on this forum of people whose relationships suffer because they stop being attracted to each other, and those threads are full of sympathetic replies. I see a way to avoid that future, at essentially zero cost since we'd still get to raise and love a kid together, and you think I need therapy and divorce and I'm terrible. Try thinking things through a bit more.

PP here. I hope you're kidding. Because if you truly think that preganancy is the only reason your wife's body will change, you are majorly delusional. People age, gravity takes effect, as do medications and lifestyle choices. Would you discourage your wife from getting life saving medical treatment because she'll be less attractive afterwards?

It's a fact of life that attraction will decrease. If you're really going to make your happiness depend solely on having a wife with a hot body, then you will definitely benefit from therapy to help you make your peace with said fact of life, before you die an unhappy, bitter, lonely man.

Maybe some perspective would help you. The people who post about superficial issues like that are in the vast minority. How do you think so many other people make it work and keep happy marriages, despite pregnancies? Focus on that. Focus on the fact that you have a wife who loves you enough to want to give you children. And get over yourself.

Second vote for a surrogate.

OP, are we talking 50-100lbs, or more like 10 to 20lbs? If the latter, would you really not find her hot because of an extra 10lbs? If so, then yes, you are a douche.

OTH, I would feel the same about my DH gaining too much weight, and men can't even use the excuse of pregnancy for the weight gain. A huge belly on anyone doesn't look good, and I don't mean a pregnancy belly. Some men look like they are pregnant. I love my DH but the physical attractiveness can be off putting if a man or woman has a huge belly (again, not pregnancy belly). Also, understand that a post pregnancy body takes some time to lose the weight. It varies by person.

Have you broached the subject with your DW? What does she think? How would you even start to convince her to adopt rather than have a biological child? Keep in mind, that most women who want kids want to have a biological child if they can, and a lot even want to have the experience of caring their own baby.

I agree with other PPs, make sure you make a lot of money in order to afford nannies, sitters, gym membership, night nurse, trips to dermatologist, possibly plastic surgery, etc.. It's not cheap to look good as you age, even without the pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad you love her. But what if your adopted child were ugly or fat - or just didn't hit the gym regularly - what would you do then? Maybe no kids? But at least adopting would give the world the chance of ending your gene pool.

OP here. Why would I love my child any less if they weren't conventionally attractive?

The same reason you want a pretty house, nice car, hot wife etc. it's all superficial. Sure you don't need to be attracted to your kids but if you're this concerned with your wife's appearance then you'll probably also find how your children look to be extremely important to you.

Fwiw you also don't get the bond that having a child via pregnancy forms or what the experience is like to a married couple. There's nothing wrong with adoption but choosing adoption so your wife doesn't damage her hot bod is so fucking messed up. It's really really sick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just on the off chance that this isn't a troll (which makes me shudder to think), OP you should save all that money adoption would cost you and invest it in a good therapist for you, a divorce lawyer for your wife and a vasectomy for the sake of humankind.

Your lack of introspection is astounding. There are dozens upon dozens of threads on this forum of people whose relationships suffer because they stop being attracted to each other, and those threads are full of sympathetic replies. I see a way to avoid that future, at essentially zero cost since we'd still get to raise and love a kid together, and you think I need therapy and divorce and I'm terrible. Try thinking things through a bit more.

Are you the same poster who posted about sex post marriage? You sound disturbed.

Anonymous wrote:Just on the off chance that this isn't a troll (which makes me shudder to think), OP you should save all that money adoption would cost you and invest it in a good therapist for you, a divorce lawyer for your wife and a vasectomy for the sake of humankind.

Your lack of introspection is astounding. There are dozens upon dozens of threads on this forum of people whose relationships suffer because they stop being attracted to each other, and those threads are full of sympathetic replies. I see a way to avoid that future, at essentially zero cost since we'd still get to raise and love a kid together, and you think I need therapy and divorce and I'm terrible. Try thinking things through a bit more.

Just on the off chance that this isn't a troll (which makes me shudder to think), OP you should save all that money adoption would cost you and invest it in a good therapist for you, a divorce lawyer for your wife and a vasectomy for the sake of humankind.

Your concern is justified. My own wife gained 50 pounds after kids. NOT attracted.
Why not get a vasectomy?

Anonymous wrote:Because how hot a person is is a good measure of their worthiness as a human being. Who wants to be married to someone who isn't hot anymore? Wow, how do all those eighty-somethings out there stay married to each other?

Where on earth did you take away from my post that I would divorce my wife? I'll love her no matter what, obviously. But I'd prefer to love her and have her keep being hot, too. Do you even read this forum? It's full of posts by people whose lives are miserable because they're not attracted to their partners anymore even though they love them.

If you have the financial means, why don't you use a surrogate? If my husband had offered that, I probably would have taken him up on it!

Anonymous wrote:So glad you love her. But what if your adopted child were ugly or fat - or just didn't hit the gym regularly - what would you do then? Maybe no kids? But at least adopting would give the world the chance of ending your gene pool.

OP here. Why would I love my child any less if they weren't conventionally attractive?

Impressed this has gotten to three pages when you don't even need to click on it to know its a fake.

Anonymous wrote:Not today satan. Not today.

LMAO!!!!!! Indeed.

Do as my ex BF did - buy her $$$ dresses and clothes one size too small and tell her that you'll keep her in gorgeous clothes if she starves herself to fit into a 00.

Also, do you require her to keep a certain look? Ex wanted long, blond hair and a tan. Great. I have dirty blond to brunette hair and am very fair.

Happy to say I left that relationship.

Treat her with respect, give her the time to work out by taking care of the kid(s)--whether adopted or by blood.