Anonymous
Post 07/17/2016 05:57     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:p.s. Just to be clear, we both work fulltime, have two young children, and are hosting for three weeks. I do not have time to go grocery shopping 3-4 times a week for particular eaters. It is my husband, taking grandpa to the grocery store , letting grandpa pick whatever (not meals, just the whole Produce department), and then my husbands puts down the credit card.

Weekly, I buy the proteins for the week and all the kid foods - milk, yogurt, baby food, pure stuff, etc.


Try changing your perspective. Honor them, give them what they want, enjoy the fact that you can give them what they want. THese are people you want to pamper. They will not be around forever.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2016 05:38     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes it's rude, yes it's inconsiderate, yes your hubby is mishandling it, yes I can sympathize, yes it's ok to vent on DCUM. Btw, I hope they don't drink too, like our crazy houseguest moochers!

Just mentally write-off $500 a week more for groceries and focus on something else. And continue to be a better houseguest than them. You can't save them all!


It's not rude. A grown son takes his father to Whole Foods and treats him to fruit b/c the son is generous b/c he loves his parents.

OP, you need to talk to your husband b/c it's his actions that are irritating you . Stop blaming your in-laws for your DH taking them to the grocery store and buying them food.


This. You have a husband issue, not an in-law issue. If you want these expenses to stop, tell your husband to make them stop, i.e. he has a conversation with his parents about responsibility. If he refuses, tell him 1) he's shopping/ cooking for them and 2) you have plans, so he/ grandparents (hopefully them) will have to cover.
Anonymous
Post 07/17/2016 05:14     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How much money did these grandparents spend on either your or DH growing up? On all the things you wanted / needed as a kid? And now you're complaining about having to spend a few bucks to buy them fruit and other items they like? Are you for real right now? It's the least you guys can do. They won't be around forever, and you just sound like a petty person.





+++++++++ I AGREE!

/cheap American people.

In Europe, people would be offended if you get a hotel instead of their house, and about the food, I'm not even gonna start.


We're not in Europe, thank god, because the idea of relatives visiting for three! weeks! is horrifying. I always insist on staying in a hotel - I need my space to decompress from people.

OP, your in-laws are rude, but if you can afford it you need to stop sweating the small stuff - it sounds like there's underlying resentment over some other issue.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 23:56     Subject: Re:Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:Your guests are so inconsiderate that it irritates me just reading your post, OP. Cut these visits to just a week unless they are providing free child care, in which case, they have earned their $50 worth of fruit.


This. Is there more to the story Op?.

Go with cheap fruit like bananas. Or buy watermelon which feeds a lot of people for like 3 days.

Shop at costco. Are you shopping at WF???There's your problem there, not your inlaws' fruit binge.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 23:50     Subject: Re:Food - what's fair
Your guests are so inconsiderate that it irritates me just reading your post, OP. Cut these visits to just a week unless they are providing free child care, in which case, they have earned their $50 worth of fruit.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 23:38     Subject: Re:Food - what's fair
I just wonder if you would do the same thing if your parents visit and ask for fruit. PETTY.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 23:35     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:How much money did these grandparents spend on either your or DH growing up? On all the things you wanted / needed as a kid? And now you're complaining about having to spend a few bucks to buy them fruit and other items they like? Are you for real right now? It's the least you guys can do. They won't be around forever, and you just sound like a petty person.





+++++++++ I AGREE!

/cheap American people.

In Europe, people would be offended if you get a hotel instead of their house, and about the food, I'm not even gonna start.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 23:29     Subject: Food - what's fair
How much money did these grandparents spend on either your or DH growing up? On all the things you wanted / needed as a kid? And now you're complaining about having to spend a few bucks to buy them fruit and other items they like? Are you for real right now? It's the least you guys can do. They won't be around forever, and you just sound like a petty person.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 22:34     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:Yes it's rude, yes it's inconsiderate, yes your hubby is mishandling it, yes I can sympathize, yes it's ok to vent on DCUM. Btw, I hope they don't drink too, like our crazy houseguest moochers!

Just mentally write-off $500 a week more for groceries and focus on something else. And continue to be a better houseguest than them. You can't save them all!


It's not rude. A grown son takes his father to Whole Foods and treats him to fruit b/c the son is generous b/c he loves his parents.

OP, you need to talk to your husband b/c it's his actions are irritating you. Stop blaming your in-laws for your DH taking them to the grocery store and buying them food.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 21:18     Subject: Food - what's fair
Unless they live abroad, zero reasons they should visit for that long.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 21:17     Subject: Food - what's fair
Why can't you talk to these people?
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 21:15     Subject: Food - what's fair
Yes it's rude, yes it's inconsiderate, yes your hubby is mishandling it, yes I can sympathize, yes it's ok to vent on DCUM. Btw, I hope they don't drink too, like our crazy houseguest moochers!

Just mentally write-off $500 a week more for groceries and focus on something else. And continue to be a better houseguest than them. You can't save them all!
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 20:56     Subject: Food - what's fair
LIFE IS NOT HARD.

Set a weekly budget and trips-per-week schedule with DH. You go once, he goes once. You buy meals/your family stuff, he buys "their" food/snacks. He goes ALONE. They don't go to the store, unless they go solo and pay for themselves.

When DH shops, he gets grapes, apples, bananas--basic fruits and veggies. If they complain, DH handles it. Directly and firmly. Like a big boy.

Do you really need other adults to troubleshoot this for you?
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 20:42     Subject: Food - what's fair
Anonymous wrote:p.s. Just to be clear, we both work fulltime, have two young children, and are hosting for three weeks. I do not have time to go grocery shopping 3-4 times a week for particular eaters. It is my husband, taking grandpa to the grocery store , letting grandpa pick whatever (not meals, just the whole Produce department), and then my husbands puts down the credit card.

Weekly, I buy the proteins for the week and all the kid foods - milk, yogurt, baby food, pure stuff, etc.


OP, since you're not actually doing the shopping and this isn't a financial hardship for you, you're really begrudging your kids' grandparents for eating fruit?

They are family. You are petty. The sourest of grapes.
Anonymous
Post 07/16/2016 20:38     Subject: Food - what's fair
It sounds like the bigger issue is they are bored. If you are at work and kids are at day care/school, they are bored without a car and just eat all day. Have husband stop on the way home every few days and buy a few things. $10 done.