Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:46
Subject: Re:He slept with someone else.
Last poster is CRAZY. People date more than one person. It's not like he slept at the same time. In some ways more flattering he ended things with her to continue with her. Being exclusive now is no commitment either. You'll see how things go as they go.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:43
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Were you guys talking about how many sexual partners you had ? Why did he feel the need to say this?
Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:37
Subject: Re:He slept with someone else.
Anonymous wrote:Op here. I accidentally left out some information. The woman he was causally dating when he met me is a mutual friend of his best friends girlfriend. He went on three dates with her. He went on two dates with me by the time they slept together but he realized he was more interested in me. Most people keep those things private, but he wanted to tell me in case I found it out later, and thought he was hiding something. I realized I acting ridiculously because he has nothing to be ashamed of. He didn't do anything wrong, and I'm the woman he asked to be exclusive. He a nice guy, maybe a little too honest! We are older - 29 and 32.
Y'all too old for this nonsense.
This does not sound like a good situation for you.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:12
Subject: He slept with someone else.
I would let it go. For sure.
In most situations, the first 5 dates or so are exploratory. You're getting to know people and just don't really know who you want to invest in. It's a little icky but not a deal breaker.
I would, however, be bothered if he had been sleeping with you both at the same time.
In most situations, the first 5 dates or so are exploratory. You're getting to know people and just don't really know who you want to invest in. It's a little icky but not a deal breaker.
I would, however, be bothered if he had been sleeping with you both at the same time.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:05
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:3 dates??!!
1) Dont overthink this - it probably wont make it to 30 dates
2) But, keep your eyes open for other hes just not that into you clues
OP here. He had 3 or 4 dates with her they slept together. We had gone on two dates by then. He said he realized he liked me too much when we had our third date and told her he wasn't interested. We have been dating now for two months ( roughly 10 dates) and he's now asking to become more serious.
So he broke it off with the girl right after sleeping with her? Seems kind of dickish. That's the only thing that would bother me.
While I don't have an issue with him having sex while you guys were in the early stages, I'd agree with this. I also don't know that he told her he wasn't interested. Guys aren't usually blunt...they just do the fade out.
I can't tell you how to feel but this wouldn't bother me at all. Why don't you try being honest and saying it bothers you and then letting it go thereafter? Match honesty with honesty.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 13:03
Subject: He slept with someone else.
What's up with the fantasy of everything being perfect ?
What are you 12 years old? Either live in reality or suffer.
What are you 12 years old? Either live in reality or suffer.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 12:56
Subject: He slept with someone else.
You are totally overreacting. He shouldn't have told you IMO.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 12:47
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Haven't read the whole thread.
I think, yes, it's normal emotionally to not like the idea of a guy sleeping with someone after he'd already been out with you a couple times.
But two dates? That's nothing. It's totally fine that he did that and I wouldn't hold it against him.
So what I am saying is, emotionally, yeah, it's normal and fine not to like it. But rationally, he didn't really do anything wrong and I wouldn't hold it against him.
I think, yes, it's normal emotionally to not like the idea of a guy sleeping with someone after he'd already been out with you a couple times.
But two dates? That's nothing. It's totally fine that he did that and I wouldn't hold it against him.
So what I am saying is, emotionally, yeah, it's normal and fine not to like it. But rationally, he didn't really do anything wrong and I wouldn't hold it against him.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 12:43
Subject: He slept with someone else.
He may actually have been smart to tell you because it sounds like when this got more serious you would have found out and then if you particularly wanted to get angry about it, could pretend he was being dishonest with you. You know he did nothing wrong so start getting over it.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 12:26
Subject: Re:He slept with someone else.
Op here. I accidentally left out some information. The woman he was causally dating when he met me is a mutual friend of his best friends girlfriend. He went on three dates with her. He went on two dates with me by the time they slept together but he realized he was more interested in me. Most people keep those things private, but he wanted to tell me in case I found it out later, and thought he was hiding something. I realized I acting ridiculously because he has nothing to be ashamed of. He didn't do anything wrong, and I'm the woman he asked to be exclusive. He a nice guy, maybe a little too honest! We are older - 29 and 32.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 12:19
Subject: He slept with someone else.
He was foolish to tell you. He was probably well-intended about being honest, but it's only human nature to be icked out about it.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 11:58
Subject: Re:He slept with someone else.
I would be done. That's some shitty behavior on his part to you and her.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 11:40
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Meh. What's the big deal? He's just being open, and he did nothing wrong. Some people appreciate and actually value that kind of openness, and some do not. I personally prefer it, though it means you have to deal with knowing some yucky stuff you really didn't want to or need to. So process it, set it aside, and move forward.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 11:27
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Ugh, it was terrible judgment for him to tell you that. Totally unnecessary if you had only been out on two dates at the time, and its going to make you feel weird now. Agree to be exclusive with him if you want or don't if you don't want to.
Anonymous
07/16/2016 11:14
Subject: He slept with someone else.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's a little weird that a dude sleeps around casually but gets guilty and finds it necessary to hurt you with information you don't need.
I think it is a different question of if he should have been that honest and different people have different preferences. In the DCUM threads on marriage infidelity there is a camp that wouldn't want to know and wouldn't want their spouse to be honest and say "why blow up my world with your guilt". There is also a camp that wants to know and be able to make decisions with all the facts.
I think my thought is once I got serious about DH when we were dating is don't do something I knew would hurt him. Cheating, whether he found out or not, would hurt our relationship. I also try to put a light to my actions and think, what if the situation was reversed, would I be cool if he did X?
Yeah, but they were not exclusive just casually dating when the guy slept with someone who he also was casually dating. The guy shows poor judgement... Dumb.