Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

Yeah, it's a pretty nasty thing to do, but I still feel more visceral bad feelings towards a woman who cheats with a married man. Probably because I am a woman, and if another person knowingly impinged on my territory I would find a way to inflict some pretty terrible revenge. Yes, of course I'd be mad at my DH too, but he wouldn't have been the one who tried to "compete" with me so to speak, so the feeling is different.

In any case, playing a role in breaking down a family is lousy, regardless of gender.

If another woman could get my H more interested in sex, more power to her. Might help me indirectly.

novaguy wrote:Some men just get off on having sex with married women. It's a conquest. There's also a perception that if she is cheating it's because she is unsatisfied at home and will be that much hotter in bed.

In my case, totally true (the unsatisfied part, up to you to judge how hot I am in bed )

Anonymous wrote:I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Ouch.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Men who say this are crazier than shithouse rats and the first to catch feelings. Men expect women to develop feelings and then when they realize the woman is detached and just wants some penis, they get their feelings hurt and start trying for more. Never met a man who could truly do no strings attached. They want you as the woman to want them, while they are pushing you away. I quit messing with single men when the last guy asked me if I missed him during Thanksgiving. I said hell no, I wasn't horny on Thanksgiving. He was very offended and started doing weird things he thought would make me develop feelings. When I dumped him, he refused to go quietly and I had to have a friend threaten him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Do you think she loves you and wishes you met under different circumstances?

She loves who she thinks I am.

I am a limerence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

Yeah, it's a pretty nasty thing to do, but I still feel more visceral bad feelings towards a woman who cheats with a married man. Probably because I am a woman, and if another person knowingly impinged on my territory I would find a way to inflict some pretty terrible revenge. Yes, of course I'd be mad at my DH too, but he wouldn't have been the one who tried to "compete" with me so to speak, so the feeling is different.

In any case, playing a role in breaking down a family is lousy, regardless of gender.

Nobody is worried about you and your revenge. Your post tells me that this is something you worry about with your DH, however. If he knows that you're the insecure type that will blame the OW more than him, I don't see an incentive for him not to have someone on the side.

I am the PP, and these feelings precede my DH, who shows no signs of wanting to cheat.

Just abstractly, the idea of another woman encroaching on my territory brings out very aggressive feelings in me. I think there is something fairly primal about it.

Maybe because I am not really worried about my DH cheating it's hard for me to imagine how I would feel towards HIM. He's pretty devoted. But if it ever happens I'll let ya know since you seem so preoccupied by it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

Yeah, it's a pretty nasty thing to do, but I still feel more visceral bad feelings towards a woman who cheats with a married man. Probably because I am a woman, and if another person knowingly impinged on my territory I would find a way to inflict some pretty terrible revenge. Yes, of course I'd be mad at my DH too, but he wouldn't have been the one who tried to "compete" with me so to speak, so the feeling is different.

In any case, playing a role in breaking down a family is lousy, regardless of gender.

Nobody is worried about you and your revenge. Your post tells me that this is something you worry about with your DH, however. If he knows that you're the insecure type that will blame the OW more than him, I don't see an incentive for him not to have someone on the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

You didn't destroy the marriage. It was already dead, or she wouldn't agree to sleep with you. She stopped being attracted to her husband, for whatever reason, and that opened the door for another man to take his place.

My marriage is far from dead. I'm very attracted to my DH. AP is just an escape. Variety. A little naughty to the mundane. Mid life crisis? 17 year itch? Boredom? Whether you're male or female, we all lust after others. Some of us succumb to temptation.

Your marriage is dead for sure. You just don't realize it yet.

We're alive and kicking:
https://youtu.be/ljIQo1OHkTI

We both have an affinity to shoulder pads.

That was my first concert ever. Howard Jones was second.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Do you think she loves you and wishes you met under different circumstances?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

You didn't destroy the marriage. It was already dead, or she wouldn't agree to sleep with you. She stopped being attracted to her husband, for whatever reason, and that opened the door for another man to take his place.

My marriage is far from dead. I'm very attracted to my DH. AP is just an escape. Variety. A little naughty to the mundane. Mid life crisis? 17 year itch? Boredom? Whether you're male or female, we all lust after others. Some of us succumb to temptation.

Your marriage is dead for sure. You just don't realize it yet.

We're alive and kicking:
https://youtu.be/ljIQo1OHkTI

We both have an affinity to shoulder pads.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Op here, this gave me a laugh because I also like my set up for this reason. I already have a DH to do those things with, my AP is just pure enjoyment. I think this answer makes a lot of sense!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

You didn't destroy the marriage. It was already dead, or she wouldn't agree to sleep with you. She stopped being attracted to her husband, for whatever reason, and that opened the door for another man to take his place.

My marriage is far from dead. I'm very attracted to my DH. AP is just an escape. Variety. A little naughty to the mundane. Mid life crisis? 17 year itch? Boredom? Whether you're male or female, we all lust after others. Some of us succumb to temptation.

Your marriage is dead for sure. You just don't realize it yet.

I don't have to celebrate birthdays or holidays with her. I don't have to take her in public. I don't spend money on her. I can blow her off any time I want and she can't raise a stink about it. We don't have to discuss our future. She believes lies like, I wish we met under other circumstances.

She's perfect.

Anonymous wrote:I have an AP and I am a married women. My AP is not married and I always wonder why he does not want to be with a single lady...I am posting because I saw the other thread where the question was asked of women sleeping with married men. Wondering if there are men who also do what my AP is doing and why?

Married woman and I have an AP too (started off as a revenge affair). I have no delusions that he's only with me though. I'm sure he has some single lady friends and that if he ever gets into a serious relationship with one of them, he'll let me go. As for why he's with me? He's very attracted to me and we have great chemistry. He wanted to date me back when he thought I was single. Our affair is very low hassle. We don't go out anywhere because of fear of getting caught. I come over every once in a while, we watch a little TV, have our fun, chat for an hour and I say bye until the next time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here think the man should be chastised as breaking up a family and destroying a marriage?

You didn't destroy the marriage. It was already dead, or she wouldn't agree to sleep with you. She stopped being attracted to her husband, for whatever reason, and that opened the door for another man to take his place.

My marriage is far from dead. I'm very attracted to my DH. AP is just an escape. Variety. A little naughty to the mundane. Mid life crisis? 17 year itch? Boredom? Whether you're male or female, we all lust after others. Some of us succumb to temptation.