Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of an odd question for this area. At my employer the average age of a FTM is 38 years old (verified fact - they tell us this at orientation). The people having kids at younger ages, especially younger than say 31-32 stick out in the DC metro area. Therefore, there are lots of resources for advanced-maternal age support. It is incredibly common. 44 is definitely on the high side, and most of my friends above 42 having their first are IVF. About half having their second above 42 are IVF. Of course this is just anecdotal. I had mine at 37 and 39.

Depends on your crowd, I guess. Most of my friends had their first babies in the 28-32 range. I am 42 and just can't imagine being in that newborn stage again, but then again I have spent the last decade sleep-deprived. Might feel more energetic if I had spent my 30s doing something else. There were always a lot of older mothers in the birth care waiting rooms so there are a lot of moms around here having healthy low-risk 40s pregnancies.

Curious, where in the DC metro area do you live and in what industry do you work?

I am an attorney that lives in upper NW DC and there are very few FTMs under 30 in my neighborhood or among my colleagues.

Was the employer with the first-time old pregnancies a large law firm? I worked at two and it was common to see 40+ first time moms. That is definitely not the mainstream population though.

Are you new here? They're all 45 year old first time moms.

I am the last poster. I should add since people have been talking about this, I had no issues getting pregnant and both children were healthy and still are very healthy.

1st at 39 2nd just shy of 41st bday (same month as my bday). I am sad I don't have the same energy level as I did 10 years ago. Despite that I still try to do a lot of stuff with them. They are now in middle school and I am in my early 50s, and when I take them to the adventure park I'm not in the trees with them as I would have been if I was 10 years younger.

married at 38, first baby at 39, second at 41. No fertility issues, but #2 was small for gestational age--a tiny baby at birth, but seems to have caught up. No known cause of small size, but perhaps due to environment in womb. Is now a happy, healthy, slightly chubby four year old.

Downsides: we wont be retiring early, i worry about dying before my kids are grown up, worry about being an old grandma who can't help out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 41 and 44, after being told at 40 I'd probably never have any. It can and does happen .

This was me, exactly.

OP, what you need to consider is not if you want a baby in your early 40s, but if you want a 10 year old in your early 50s, or a kid still in college in your early 60s. THAT is the hard part.

The age gap between my first 2 and the new baby and how old I'll be when they're in college is what makes me pause. I'm loving seeing all these positive responses. Negative nellies aside.

OP here. Wow! Came back to check my thread and so happy to see any these responses! This is awesome. Thanks everyone.

Anonymous wrote:I had mine at 41 and 44, after being told at 40 I'd probably never have any. It can and does happen .

This was me, exactly.

OP, what you need to consider is not if you want a baby in your early 40s, but if you want a 10 year old in your early 50s, or a kid still in college in your early 60s. THAT is the hard part.

First at 35. Second born one month after I turned 38.

40 was too old for me.

I married at 28 and waited until 34 to get pregnant.

I'm fit and fine, had easy pregnancies...looking back at 46--I probably would have done 33 and 35 instead of 35 and 37.9.

I had one in my early thirties, and my second in my late thirties. The only difference is that I feel like it took me longer to recover the second time around, but that could just be because I had to take care of two kids instead of one.

I used IVF to have my first at 36. I'm now 38 and got pregnant without intervention on my first month without an IUD. I have heard anecdotally it's easier to get pregnant at an older age if you have been pregnant before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of an odd question for this area. At my employer the average age of a FTM is 38 years old (verified fact - they tell us this at orientation). The people having kids at younger ages, especially younger than say 31-32 stick out in the DC metro area. Therefore, there are lots of resources for advanced-maternal age support. It is incredibly common. 44 is definitely on the high side, and most of my friends above 42 having their first are IVF. About half having their second above 42 are IVF. Of course this is just anecdotal. I had mine at 37 and 39.

Depends on your crowd, I guess. Most of my friends had their first babies in the 28-32 range. I am 42 and just can't imagine being in that newborn stage again, but then again I have spent the last decade sleep-deprived. Might feel more energetic if I had spent my 30s doing something else. There were always a lot of older mothers in the birth care waiting rooms so there are a lot of moms around here having healthy low-risk 40s pregnancies.

Curious, where in the DC metro area do you live and in what industry do you work?

I am an attorney that lives in upper NW DC and there are very few FTMs under 30 in my neighborhood or among my colleagues.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone on the board have babies between ages of 38-44 or so? I think I might want another baby someday and need some words of encouragement.

pregnant with my second, due next week. I'm almost 41 y/o and got pregnant first try.

I had my 3rd at 38. It really didn't feel any different than the first two when I was 32 and 34.

Anonymous wrote:I had my twins when I was 44, just shy of my 45th birthday. I used donor eggs to do it, but I had a totally healthy, full-term pregnancy. Easy birth, easy recovery (scheduled c-section) and healthy kids.

I'm chronically tired and maybe that wouldn't be as true if I were 10 years younger. I'm also hugely better off financially now than when I was younger so I'm much less stressed (and I can afford really good childcare.)

It can be done OP. Good luck!

I was 44 as well. I did IVF (my own eggs), and it worked on the first shot. (Full disclosure, I am gay, so medical intervention was our only option.) My pregnancy was uneventful, and I delivered a healthy baby on time.

The big difference is that I was exhausted the last month of my pregnancy. I am amazed at younger women who work right up until they deliver. Luckily, I was able to take time off to rest the last four weeks. I am sure that I was more tired as the mother of an infant/toddler than a woman 10 or 20 years younger, but I made sure that I went to bed early and cut back non-job related tasks (hired a house cleaner, etc.)

Like PP, I am definitely less stressed and am enjoying being a mom. I am far along in my career, so my income is good. I can afford to send my child to a really nice private school, and I have the flexibility to take time off as needed. I never miss a school event.

OP, can it be done? Absolutely. Will you get pregnant? This is really person specific. Luckily, there are more fertility options open today than there has ever been. Good luck to you.