Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 12:43     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Give the second up for adoption! I am pro-choice, but really we are talking about grown, married adults bringing this embryo into the world -- don't discard her life so easily just because yours did not work out as planned!
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 12:40     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Husband just admitted to having online "flirtations" with about six women over the past year - flirty emails, naked photos - which he attributes to our unhappy marriage. I found one such exchange in his email (yes, I snooped) and this led him to fess up. There are general "communication" issues between us, usually manifesting as his being disrespectful toward me.

I'm much more upset at this then I ever predicted I would be. I want to leave, but I'm nine weeks pregnant, we have a two year old, and I'm a SAHM (no financial independence or family to rely upon). Please, what should I do?


Have you ever worked, do you have a degree? If so you need to figure out what you need to do to get yourself financially independent before you do anything. 9 weeks pregnant so probably not showing, go get a job now with some benefits if you can. Do all this then work on fixing marriage. If marriage can't be fixed and you aren't financially independent, your screwed.


Not showing. Have an undergrad degree, but haven't worked in a few years as we live in Europe and I'm not authorized to work here/don't speak fluent French. Suppose I could find telework jobs, but am a SAHM. I have to do something, I know.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 12:38     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:So the advice is to kill a baby because of the wife is distraught about online "flirtations." Would it should work the other way also...


How would it work the other way?
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 12:29     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
So the advice is to kill a baby because of the wife is distraught about online "flirtations." Would it should work the other way also...
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 12:22     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:Husband just admitted to having online "flirtations" with about six women over the past year - flirty emails, naked photos - which he attributes to our unhappy marriage. I found one such exchange in his email (yes, I snooped) and this led him to fess up. There are general "communication" issues between us, usually manifesting as his being disrespectful toward me.

I'm much more upset at this then I ever predicted I would be. I want to leave, but I'm nine weeks pregnant, we have a two year old, and I'm a SAHM (no financial independence or family to rely upon). Please, what should I do?


Have you ever worked, do you have a degree? If so you need to figure out what you need to do to get yourself financially independent before you do anything. 9 weeks pregnant so probably not showing, go get a job now with some benefits if you can. Do all this then work on fixing marriage. If marriage can't be fixed and you aren't financially independent, your screwed.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 09:03     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The first thing you need to do is get a job.


Nope, first thing she needs to do is terminate and the second is get a job - if she is overseas, then she needs to come back to the states. I'm always doubtful of the narrator when we hear only one side of the story, but taking her entirely at face value, yeah, this is a GTFO situation, ASAP - and no bringing more children into it.


He's being extremely remorseful and apologetic. Laying it all down, saying he will get help, we will get help. I just want to crawl under a rock.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 09:02     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:either OP has posted before or this is a troll....


I am not a troll!
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 08:52     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:The first thing you need to do is get a job.


Nope, first thing she needs to do is terminate and the second is get a job - if she is overseas, then she needs to come back to the states. I'm always doubtful of the narrator when we hear only one side of the story, but taking her entirely at face value, yeah, this is a GTFO situation, ASAP - and no bringing more children into it.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 08:43     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
either OP has posted before or this is a troll....
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2016 08:24     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
I am beginning to remember little flashes of things now. Condoms in the car - when I asked him about them "they're for us." Yeah, right - we go on one date every three months at most. An encounter when he was showing me something from Snapchat and an alert that <"girls name here" sent you a message.> I asked who "girls name" was and he acted dumb, THEN admitted he had just started following her.

Sneaky sneaky sneaky. I am so livid. Ugh!
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2016 23:49     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hi there! I’m so sorry you’re in this difficult situation. Were you able to openly talk to your husband about how this makes you feel? Love, respect and trust are very important in a marriage and I know infidelity can cause severe imbalance to your daily lives. You also mentioned that you have communication issues in your marriage. Do you think it might be helpful if you speak to a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Additionally, check out this insightful link: bit.ly/1Et0cKc. I’ll be praying that God will provide the comfort, strength and guidance you need at this time. Hang in there!


OP: whatever you do, DO NOT call Focus on the Family. I assume you don't need to be told this. But just in case, don't.


Thank you. I do know not to call them, so I can be guilted for considering an abortion - no thanks!
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2016 23:39     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:Hi there! I’m so sorry you’re in this difficult situation. Were you able to openly talk to your husband about how this makes you feel? Love, respect and trust are very important in a marriage and I know infidelity can cause severe imbalance to your daily lives. You also mentioned that you have communication issues in your marriage. Do you think it might be helpful if you speak to a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Additionally, check out this insightful link: bit.ly/1Et0cKc. I’ll be praying that God will provide the comfort, strength and guidance you need at this time. Hang in there!


OP: whatever you do, DO NOT call Focus on the Family. I assume you don't need to be told this. But just in case, don't.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2016 23:35     Subject: Re:Distraught - don't know what to do next
Hi there! I’m so sorry you’re in this difficult situation. Were you able to openly talk to your husband about how this makes you feel? Love, respect and trust are very important in a marriage and I know infidelity can cause severe imbalance to your daily lives. You also mentioned that you have communication issues in your marriage. Do you think it might be helpful if you speak to a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Additionally, check out this insightful link: bit.ly/1Et0cKc. I’ll be praying that God will provide the comfort, strength and guidance you need at this time. Hang in there!
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2016 23:22     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. You guys are advocating abortion because he emailed some dick pics and drinks more than OP wants him to?

He absolutely made some bad choices, but I really don't think this is abortion-worthy.


What's a good solution? Seriously.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2016 23:22     Subject: Distraught - don't know what to do next
Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. You guys are advocating abortion because he emailed some dick pics and drinks more than OP wants him to?

He absolutely made some bad choices, but I really don't think this is abortion-worthy.


I suggested it. Here's the thing. When a guy emails some dick pics, it's not like he goes "Oh great, now the urge is gone. Whew, that's over" and goes back to being a loving husband. He escalates. This won't end well. You want her to be giving birth and in labor asking for ice chips while he's sitting across the room texting a side piece? No.