Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because getting married shouldn't be a career plan. I know a certain former cheerleader married to a doctor who has three daughters and she is clearly grooming them for marriage rather than careers. It's sad because she's basically investing in their looks rather than their educations, and creating women who are not strong and self-sufficient. It's as though we are teaching our daughters to be doctors and lawyers and she's teaching hers to be poodles. And this was really obvious from the time the girls were young -- Some girls chose the Girl Scout badges on health and science and her girls chose Haircare and the like. Kinda sad and limiting.

on the flip side I think it's a mistake if a mom isn't teaching her daughter how to attract a nice man and get married. A career is fantastic and I value mine. However, I would be even more disappointed if I ended up single without a family. Many older career women will admit this. Having a supportive life partner is extremely important. While I want my daughters to have solid careers I also want them to marry and have children.

But this isn't about you they may or may not want this, and teaching them that guys are only interested in their looks and sex is leading them to marry guys who will cheat on them or trade them in once they cease to look 25.

Do you want Trump as your son in law?

How exactly do you 'teach your daughter to attract a nice man and get married' and what does that look like? You make it sound like it's necessary to set a trap and figure out where to put the cheese in. Besides, most women these days meet their hubbies at work. PResumably what draws them together naturally is shared interests, among other things.

The problem with the cheerleader mom is that she's operating on an outdated model, if she thinks that a guy who is a doctor is going to more interested in an unambitious girl who is pretty than he is going to be interested in the total package -- the girl who is beautiful, fun and also a doctor like he is. Why would a guy choose to limit his earning potential by marrying a girl with no career ambitions, no skills and no drive?

Anonymous wrote:Because getting married shouldn't be a career plan. I know a certain former cheerleader married to a doctor who has three daughters and she is clearly grooming them for marriage rather than careers. It's sad because she's basically investing in their looks rather than their educations, and creating women who are not strong and self-sufficient. It's as though we are teaching our daughters to be doctors and lawyers and she's teaching hers to be poodles. And this was really obvious from the time the girls were young -- Some girls chose the Girl Scout badges on health and science and her girls chose Haircare and the like. Kinda sad and limiting.

on the flip side I think it's a mistake if a mom isn't teaching her daughter how to attract a nice man and get married. A career is fantastic and I value mine. However, I would be even more disappointed if I ended up single without a family. Many older career women will admit this. Having a supportive life partner is extremely important. While I want my daughters to have solid careers I also want them to marry and have children.

Because getting married shouldn't be a career plan. I know a certain former cheerleader married to a doctor who has three daughters and she is clearly grooming them for marriage rather than careers. It's sad because she's basically investing in their looks rather than their educations, and creating women who are not strong and self-sufficient. It's as though we are teaching our daughters to be doctors and lawyers and she's teaching hers to be poodles. And this was really obvious from the time the girls were young -- Some girls chose the Girl Scout badges on health and science and her girls chose Haircare and the like. Kinda sad and limiting.

Nothing. Unless that is the only criteria they used to marry.

Anonymous wrote:Ultimately, the only person you should depend on for financial stability is yourself. Attempt to marry rich all you want, but you aren't in control of your spouse's career choices or investments or his relationship with his wealthy parents (or whatever the source of his "stability" is), and he may decide he doesn't care about wealth, or make bad choices and lose it.

Eh - most of the gals who 'marry rich' come from rich families to start with (where do you think they get those ideas and very specific life strategies?! - so there's still mommy and daddy to fall back on.

Where it gets annoying is that these people think that they are better than you. Just for being rich. It's annoying.

^take it up with the person who coined the phrase, not OP, who is just using it.

Anonymous wrote:The problem is the definition. In whose mind does marrying "well" all come down to money?

+1

I would never judge anyone for wanting financial stability any more than any other criteria. But acting as if that in itself is a accomplishment is kind if obnoxious. Bagging a rich guy is no more an accomplishment of the spouse than what's in my husband's pants is indicative of my worth as a human being. The phrase "marrying well" is the worst.

Anonymous wrote:"Filtering" for rich guys when dating does offend me. A marriage is more than an economic partnership. You're not just choosing someone to help build an awesome wedding registry with and to cosign on the loan to your gorgeous new house. You marry someone who you click with, who wants the same things out of life, and who shares your values.

Oh wait, maybe money IS what they want out of life, and it IS the only thing they value. Oh well then, carry on.

And marriage is more than a meeting of looks! What's your point?!

Oh please, men filter for looks every time. Give me a break.

"Filtering" for rich guys when dating does offend me. A marriage is more than an economic partnership. You're not just choosing someone to help build an awesome wedding registry with and to cosign on the loan to your gorgeous new house. You marry someone who you click with, who wants the same things out of life, and who shares your values.

Oh wait, maybe money IS what they want out of life, and it IS the only thing they value. Oh well then, carry on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice that when a man marries a young hot 20 something, he never gets vilified. It's always the girl who is the vicious, scheming gold digger!

It's the same concept when a guy wants to marry a hot/attractive woman. No one thinks there's anything wrong with that. What's the difference?

+1

I recall a long time ago, pre Trump presidential run, when Billy Bush from some entertainment show asked Melania if she would've married Trump if he didn't have money. Her response: "would he have married me if I weren't beautiful"? Has anyone asking Trump if he would've married Melania if she wasn't beautiful? I'd be interested in the response...no, not really.

Nope. No one would ask him that. People would think it's an absurd question. They're too busy giving him the "you did it!" and "good for you!" male-head-nod.

The culture we lived in has been shaped by male opinions and perspectives. Never forget that.

Anonymous wrote:There's nothing wrong with it. Men want you to think there is because it's something that is harder for them to do (marry up).

Boom.

Anonymous wrote:Notice that when a man marries a young hot 20 something, he never gets vilified. It's always the girl who is the vicious, scheming gold digger!

Are you from Earth?

I constantly hear women demonizing men who date much younger women. They call them "predators" and "creepy," etc.

It's fine as long as you can live with your choices. I know several girls who married a well of guy 20 yrs older: they get the lifestyle, he gets a young hot girl, it is a transaction.