There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. You just have to be as sure as you can be, because you don't want to regret not having them later. And I agree with others that it's different dealing with your own v. others' kids.

OP, I'd worry about not having children and regretting this choice later. It doesn't sound to me like you're dead set on a child-free lifestyle, but of course, it's your call.

It is totally ok to not want kids, but you have to be honest before you get married

As someone whomped not want kids but changed thier mind, your own kid is different. whining is always annoying, but overall the good outweighs the bad. I am not saying you should have kids, but if you like them enough to volunteer to spend time with them, I think you just may love the freaking hell out of your own kids.

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of people who like their own kids but not others- even to the point to not do playdates. I am somewhere in the middle- it really is different when it;s your child.

I'm a little like this, but never admit it to anyone. Just not big on dealing with OPK (other people's kids).

There are many guys out there who'd be interested in you on as a life partner with the understanding you don't want kids. There's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. No need to force it.

I know a lot of people who like their own kids but not others- even to the point to not do playdates. I am somewhere in the middle- it really is different when it;s your child.

I agree with others that I like my own kid but other kids, meh, I could take 'em or leave 'em.

Also, if you've been caring for kids of the same age for the past decade, especially if they're young, it's no wonder why you're burned out -- but your own kids will not be screaming toddlers for 10+ years.

Funny, I'm realizing that I dont want to get married, but I definitely want kids.

Do what makes you happy OP. Screw what anyone else thinks.

I think you're just burnt out. Caring for other's kids is harder than your own. When it's your own child all this patience comes out of nowhere. But it also helps to put them in daycare so you're not exposed to their relentless demands 24/7. I really don't know how SAHMs with two kids do it when kids are age 3 or younger.

It's fine whatever you decide!

But with your own kids it's different.

I can't tell you how you should feel, but I can tell you I am in my 40s with no kids, and it's really just fine.

My husband and I don't have that glossy magazine type life where we're jetting off to Paris every other week. (I feel like that's what you hear in every essay about being childfree by choice.)

But we do have a lot of freedoms that people with kids don't have. A big one is that we don't have to save for college, or worry about uprooting kids' stable lives by moving, or any number of things like that. It's given us a lot of career flexibility and geographic flexibility we wouldn't otherwise have had. And we also have a lot of free time - for some people, that might not sound important, but for both of us we really value it.

What do we miss out on? Plenty, I'm sure. My husband actively dislikes children, so I'm sure he doesn't miss any of these things. I like kids (I don't work with them, so easy for me to say) - I think they're fun, I think it's fun to show them things, etc etc.

I think a lot of people our age are busy with kids, so you might find that some of your social life gets more complicated as you get older. But you find people - sometimes they are older or younger, and there's a growing cohort of 30s and 40s types with no kids around, too.

In short: Don't get caught up in that fear of missing out syndrome, though. I'd say trust your own gut, and perhaps trust that you are one of the lucky people who will probably be happy with a kid or two and just as happy without. You have options.

I think there are two separate but related issues

1) you are not sure you want kids. well, either way is fine. plenty of men to date who dont want kids.

2) you are burnt out in your job which is why you dont want kids. but if accepting not having kids is right for you, will you feel less burnt out? or if you change careers where you are not constantly around kids, will you realize that you want one of your own?

I think you need to figure out #2, and the answer to #1 will perhaps be clearer.

Just make sure the partner you choose to spend time with knows that you don't want kids. And if that changes after you meet someone, than, that person has to know. You can't be wishy washy about kids. Don't bring a child into the world if you don't want one.

Even than, after having a kid, you change in the way you think and do things.

Kids are the one choice we make that we can never do-over. And there's really no way to know what parenting will be like until you're in the trenches with YOUR kid.

I know lots of friends that think their kids are the greatest thing that ever happened to them. And more than a few friends that have come to realize they don't like parenthood and regret having children.

That said, I think a lot of personal feelings about parenthood are strongly colored by the temperament of the child. My sister's baby is incredible - sleeps 10 hours per night without interruption, perfect health, is a good eater, and just a happy personality - and thus my sister loves being a mom. My SIL? Both her babies were colic'y, had health issues, did not eat, and my SIL has not slept for more 5 hours straight in 2.5 years. The parenting years are extremely rough for her and she just breaks down crying. She's miserable in parenthood, even with a very supportive husband.

I don't like other people's kids but I love mine!