Anonymous wrote:I adore my sisters, who are 13 and 20 years older than I am. We are very close and always have been.

So much is personality and location. My mom is 10 and 13 years younger than her sisters and was close with the middle one but not the older one. They all lived at home until getting married (except my mom who lived in sin with my dad, haha) so it was a personality thing.

My cousins on one side range from 8 to 20 years older than me and our personalities mesh well. If we lived in the same city we would see them quite often. As it is, we talk frequently. My cousins on the other side are 7 years older and 4 years younger. The older one and I had virtually no relationship until we had kids. Our personalities are radically different. If we weren't cousins we'd never even have crossed paths. Since we are together at family functions and have young kids the same age, we hang out a bit, but it's all superficial small talk. I was close with the younger cousin when we were growing up since they lived nearby, but again, personality differences, distance, and different stages of life mean we don't talk much either.

As these responses demonstrate, it seems to be a bit of a crapshoot, but I say go for it! Even if the kids aren't close you will still have the joy of another child. And hopefully they will be close as kids, adults, or both.

My sister is 8 years old than me. We were at completely different life stages growing up and we rarely speak now as adults. We are more like friendly acquaintances.
Don't let that stop you though, I would certainly hope my parents still would have had me knowing I wouldn't be close with my sibling!

I adore my sisters, who are 13 and 20 years older than I am. We are very close and always have been.

Op, it was fine. Don't let the age difference stop you. I was the young one. Strongly influenced by my siblings' cultural references. Ended up marring someone older.

Anonymous wrote:There are 7 years between my oldest and youngest (with one in the middle). They actually get along great and even find ways to play together at 3 and 10. When the youngest was born, it was great that the oldest was pretty independent (and in my case, kept the middle entertained since they were/are best buddies). Seven years is really not that much - most of my friends with three kids have 6-7 years from oldest to youngest. I know that's not your situation with this being your second, but I'm just saying plenty of people make that age gap work logistically, and the kids find ways to relate to each other.

Thank you! Stories like yours give me hope!!

There are 7 years between my oldest and youngest (with one in the middle). They actually get along great and even find ways to play together at 3 and 10. When the youngest was born, it was great that the oldest was pretty independent (and in my case, kept the middle entertained since they were/are best buddies). Seven years is really not that much - most of my friends with three kids have 6-7 years from oldest to youngest. I know that's not your situation with this being your second, but I'm just saying plenty of people make that age gap work logistically, and the kids find ways to relate to each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're thinking about having a second but it would mean our two children would be seven years apart, at minimum. Anyone out there have experience with sibs this far apart? What worked? What didn't? Were they friends when they were younger? Are they friends now? Thanks for the insights and advice!

Treat both equally. If you have standards for the oldest, have the same for the youngest.

That is just not possible. You can not expect the same level of personal responsibility from a three year old as from a ten year old, which is what we have. However, it is possible to respect the individuality of each child

I'm 27, my sister is 15 and my brother is 13. So there is a 12 year difference between me and my sister and 14 years between me and my brother. When she was a baby, she was my little baby doll pretty much and I loved taking her out and dressing her up. Now that she's 15, we are actually pretty close. She comes out with me at least 1-2 days a week to go to target or the mall and texts me a lot to ask me to take her places (I only live 3 miles from them). My brother and I aren't as close but at the same time, he's the typical teenage boy and only cares about video games.

My brother and I are seven years apart. We are not close because we didn't do things together while growing up because of the age difference. I would characterize our adult relationship as "friendly colleagues."

Anonymous wrote:We have an 8.5 year gap due to secondary infertility. We all were so excited when our second child finally joined us. It's been pretty good so far. Big sis loves playing with little sis. Yes, it's more like a junior parent, but you know what? I didn't have expectations of anything else. Just a little while ago, big sis gave little sis her bath (with supervision). In the mornings, big sis makes waffles for herself in the toaster and shares with little sis while momma is doing her morning routine. Big sis likes to read to little sis and help her slide and swing in the backyard. In return, little sis just thinks big sis is awesome.

I didn't go into this expecting them to be super close or confidants or anything. It's an unusual dynamic, but it is our reality and we're making the best of it.

Scheduling is the biggest challenge so far, but again, we are making it work. Sometimes we have to divide and conquer. Sometimes we have to just allow the older one to take care of herself-which can be good and bad.

In the end, though, having this little one is worth any of the concerns/possible future cons.

Thanks for sharing! A great perspective.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 7 years younger than his youngest brother. He apparently fought with him a lot as a kid but now they are all close ( one +7, another +9 or 10y)

Happy ending! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous wrote:I have siblings 7, 9, and 10 years older than me (as well as a younger sibling close in age). One older sister was like a second mother growing up and my older brother taught me to camp, took me fossil digging, and got me my first 'real' job. I had a much different relationship with my close-in-age sibling obviously, but as adults, all 5 of us are very close and have kids around the same age, which is a lot of fun. When my dad died after a long illness in my early 20s, having my siblings as a support network was invaluable. Part of the reason we're so close now is probably somewhat a result of that experience, but regardless, they are a wonderful part of my life. Even the sister I'm least close with (she has always kind of done her own thing) is a great friend and someone I know will always be there if I need her.

Love this! thank you

My husband is 7 years younger than his youngest brother. He apparently fought with him a lot as a kid but now they are all close ( one +7, another +9 or 10y)

We have an 8.5 year gap due to secondary infertility. We all were so excited when our second child finally joined us. It's been pretty good so far. Big sis loves playing with little sis. Yes, it's more like a junior parent, but you know what? I didn't have expectations of anything else. Just a little while ago, big sis gave little sis her bath (with supervision). In the mornings, big sis makes waffles for herself in the toaster and shares with little sis while momma is doing her morning routine. Big sis likes to read to little sis and help her slide and swing in the backyard. In return, little sis just thinks big sis is awesome.

I didn't go into this expecting them to be super close or confidants or anything. It's an unusual dynamic, but it is our reality and we're making the best of it.

Scheduling is the biggest challenge so far, but again, we are making it work. Sometimes we have to divide and conquer. Sometimes we have to just allow the older one to take care of herself-which can be good and bad.

In the end, though, having this little one is worth any of the concerns/possible future cons.

I have siblings 7, 9, and 10 years older than me (as well as a younger sibling close in age). One older sister was like a second mother growing up and my older brother taught me to camp, took me fossil digging, and got me my first 'real' job. I had a much different relationship with my close-in-age sibling obviously, but as adults, all 5 of us are very close and have kids around the same age, which is a lot of fun. When my dad died after a long illness in my early 20s, having my siblings as a support network was invaluable. Part of the reason we're so close now is probably somewhat a result of that experience, but regardless, they are a wonderful part of my life. Even the sister I'm least close with (she has always kind of done her own thing) is a great friend and someone I know will always be there if I need her.