Anonymous wrote:I think if your eight year old is "refusing" to comply with something you have asked him to do, you need serious parenting help. My youngest hates strep tests. He would rather get an IV. He tried to negotiate that when he was ten and had strep. In the end, when the doctor said "open your mouth" he did it. He wasn't happy. But he knows better than to disobey.

OP, my kids are grown except for one high schooloer left at home. You are in for some difficult years if you can't make an eight year old obey.

We had this same problem with my 8 year old DS. We couldn't get him to open his mouth. We went home without the test and without antibiotics.

DS is now 18 and has given us very little trouble in the teen years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You WILL do this or you will end up sleeping in the hospital by yourself.

So you can just check a kid into a hospital ? Like as punishment? How does that work?

I'm sure people have asked, but how do you force it? Go to the orthodontist and get one of those mouth things they use for putting on braces? Then some sort of head vice? Does anyone know of a pediatrician with these facilities? TIA!

No, the poster means if the kid winds up with an illness so bad it requires being hospitalized all from refusing a strep test. Again, you can squeeze the jaw open - you don't need anything from an orthodontist, or a head vice. You hold the kid in your lap, wrap one leg around their two, one arm around their two, and hold their forehead so their head stays stable against your chest. Then the other person squeezes their jaw open and swabs. Three seconds.

Sounds awesome! Threaten your kid that you won't visit them in the hospital. Is that an idle threat or something real you'd do?

Some areas kids get to negotiate. Matters of health and safety do not fall into this category. End of discussion. My kid hates shots. When he was about 9 decided to flat out refuse to get one. Nope. Not the way that works. Ditto for seat belts, bike helmets and dentist visits. We can do it the easy way or the three nurses plus mom to get the job done way, but it is going to happen (PS-- the easy way usually involves a small treat on the way home).

Northern VA Pediatric Associates has a nurse in the lab who is crazy good at it. She's probably in her 50s, and super efficient. I don't recall her exact technique but she basically told my kid "Oh, I do this different than the other people" had him open his mouth and look up like a baby bird and it was the ONLY time I've not seen him gag. He was literally smiling he couldn't believe how easy it was. Not sure if that helps, but it would be good of you could have a go-to for a good tech.

I am an adult who still has a hard time with strep tests - they are easier when the medical staff knows how to do them. See if you can Google the procedure...I find that saying ahhhhh as I am opening my mouth allows the swab to hit the back of the throat. Not peasant, but try to instruct your child and the nurse on how to do it if there are problems. Having the test is not optional.

Anonymous wrote:I would wait and see if she gets worse. I'm not opposed to bribery or reasonable coercion, but no forcing unless close to deaths door. She's 12, not 5. Many adults make the decision to wait and see- that's not an unreasonable position. Start letting her participate in her medical decisions. If she gets worse, explain the test leads to the medicine to make her better.

So send a kid to school with strep and spread it around?

Or just keep using sick time to stay home?

No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You WILL do this or you will end up sleeping in the hospital by yourself.

So you can just check a kid into a hospital ? Like as punishment? How does that work?

I'm sure people have asked, but how do you force it? Go to the orthodontist and get one of those mouth things they use for putting on braces? Then some sort of head vice? Does anyone know of a pediatrician with these facilities? TIA!

No, the poster means if the kid winds up with an illness so bad it requires being hospitalized all from refusing a strep test. Again, you can squeeze the jaw open - you don't need anything from an orthodontist, or a head vice. You hold the kid in your lap, wrap one leg around their two, one arm around their two, and hold their forehead so their head stays stable against your chest. Then the other person squeezes their jaw open and swabs. Three seconds.

Anonymous wrote:You WILL do this or you will end up sleeping in the hospital by yourself.

So you can just check a kid into a hospital ? Like as punishment? How does that work?

I'm sure people have asked, but how do you force it? Go to the orthodontist and get one of those mouth things they use for putting on braces? Then some sort of head vice? Does anyone know of a pediatrician with these facilities? TIA!

I would first try reason. I know you hate it, but if you do not allow it, you will get sick and need worse tears.

I would add a small reward- cookie, ice cream, extra quarter for the machines, extra screen time

If all that fails, I would say no screen time for a week and count to ten.

I have one that hates needles. HATES. After several freak out episodes, I basically told him he could sit on my lap and be brave for a few seconds, or I'd have to leave and they would have the stronger male nurses hold him down while they administered the shot.

I would do the same for strep. It's either here, with mommy present, or at the emergency room/clinic/wherever, and I won't be present in the room. I give zero cares whether that makes me a bad parent.

No one *likes* strep tests. I STILL hate them and gag as an adult. But occasionally we have to do things we don't like - for our health or other reasons.

Bribery is TOTALLY cool in this situation, too. No judgment whatsoever.

At our doctor a couple of extra nurses came in and had to hold my 7 year old. She had figured out they were trying to do a throat swab, which she hates. Offer of bribe/trip to the market for a treat also helped. This year she did just fine. Finally old enough to figure out it's for her own good.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my child is normally very obedient. This refusal surprised me. I was just wondering to what lengths you would go. I was prepared to force it when the Dr. came up with a bribe that worked.
I felt unsure about forcing it because I didn't want to be judged by the office staff. When it comes to health and safety, yes I would force. People used to die from strep....

We had a long discussion in the car on the way home. "When it comes to health and safety *I* get to decide. In the future any medical related refusal will be met with very serious consequences".

Wait, so your kid accepted a bribe and took the test? Problem solved. What's the issue.

I asked the question because I was prepared to force it. I wondered if that makes me bad or abusive or if others would do the same.
The refusal went on for quite a while. I was on the phone with DH to make him come to the office and hold her down.

Just wanted to know what others would do. Thanks for the input.

You shouldn't need dh. Usually they can send in an extra nurse or two to help you.

Parent up. Strep kills

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you physically squeeze her jaw open. Tell her she can either throw a huge fit and make a scene and waste a half hour having a temper tantrum, or she can sit in your lap and get it done and over with in three seconds, and after that she can have a lollipop - it's her decision. But either way, she's getting a throat culture.

Untreated strep can lead to heart infections.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my child is normally very obedient. This refusal surprised me. I was just wondering to what lengths you would go. I was prepared to force it when the Dr. came up with a bribe that worked.
I felt unsure about forcing it because I didn't want to be judged by the office staff. When it comes to health and safety, yes I would force. People used to die from strep....

We had a long discussion in the car on the way home. "When it comes to health and safety *I* get to decide. In the future any medical related refusal will be met with very serious consequences".

Wait, so your kid accepted a bribe and took the test? Problem solved. What's the issue.

I asked the question because I was prepared to force it. I wondered if that makes me bad or abusive or if others would do the same.
The refusal went on for quite a while. I was on the phone with DH to make him come to the office and hold her down.

Just wanted to know what others would do. Thanks for the input.

I am not an authoritarian parent. I use positive discipline. I have taken classes in this stuff (I mention this to show that I am generally pretty child-centric). But I would absolutely force it if necessary. There are a few things where the kid's opinion/feelings just don't matter. This is one of those.