Based on Dr. Google, most DCUM posters are borderline:

Having an unstable or dysfunctional self-image or a distorted sense of self (how one feels about one’s self)

Feelings of isolation, boredom and emptiness

Difficulty feeling empathy for others

A history of unstable relationships that can change drastically from intense love and idealization to intense hate

A persistent fear of abandonment and rejection, including extreme emotional reactions to real and even perceived abandonment

Intense, highly changeable moods that can last for several days or for just a few hours

Strong feelings of anxiety, worry and depression

Impulsive, risky, self-destructive and dangerous behaviors, including reckless driving, drug or alcohol abuse and having unsafe sex

Hostility

Unstable career plans, goals and aspirations

Me thinks it is a bullshit diagnosis. Or rather a judgement in the absense of a diagnosis or anything specific to diagnose.

Anonymous wrote:Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by extreme fear of abandonment; unstable relationships with other people, sense of self, or emotions; feelings of emptiness; frequent dangerous behavior; and self-harm.[3] Symptoms may be triggered by seemingly normal events.[3] This pattern of behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.[4] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.[5] Substance abuse, depression, and eating disorders commonly co-exist with borderline personality disorder.[3] About 6% die by suicide.[3]
usually cuased by severe trauma in childhood, although not everyone with trauma has BP

This is why we have those smug people called doctors How in the world can you diagnose a person based on the description above?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many people on this forum misuse the term "gaslighting," I will give you that.

But if you are the person who came on the post I wrote about my borderline mother and insisted she was just a pain in the ass -- I really don't know (1) where your data comes from and (2) what makes you such an expert on my mother.

I've lived with the woman and her borderline behavior for 40 years. I know exactly how she behaves. SHE. IS. BORDERLINE. I can't give you examples of her borderline behavior because you would be reading my post for the next two years. But more to the point, it's not possible for you to diagnose or discern or rule out whether someone is borderline from one single anecdote on DCUM. You are irresponsible.

Your post was stupid and your mom is not 'borderline"

New poster. One wonders what PP and her mother represent to you.

Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of mental abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception and sanity.
....usually to cover up some form of abuse.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by extreme fear of abandonment; unstable relationships with other people, sense of self, or emotions; feelings of emptiness; frequent dangerous behavior; and self-harm.[3] Symptoms may be triggered by seemingly normal events.[3] This pattern of behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.[4] People with BPD often engage in idealization and devaluation of others, alternating between high positive regard and great disappointment.[5] Substance abuse, depression, and eating disorders commonly co-exist with borderline personality disorder.[3] About 6% die by suicide.[3]
usually cuased by severe trauma in childhood, although not everyone with trauma has BP

Anonymous wrote:Many people on this forum misuse the term "gaslighting," I will give you that.

But if you are the person who came on the post I wrote about my borderline mother and insisted she was just a pain in the ass -- I really don't know (1) where your data comes from and (2) what makes you such an expert on my mother.

I've lived with the woman and her borderline behavior for 40 years. I know exactly how she behaves. SHE. IS. BORDERLINE. I can't give you examples of her borderline behavior because you would be reading my post for the next two years. But more to the point, it's not possible for you to diagnose or discern or rule out whether someone is borderline from one single anecdote on DCUM. You are irresponsible.

Your post was stupid and your mom is not 'borderline"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

You sound borderline.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

As a licensed professional you would know that a well-reasoned diagnosis by an expert is critical. A true borderline needs years of specialized treatment. On-going. In all likelihood treatment for life. Success will require the active participation of spouses, SOs and other loved ones, who themselves need to have some form of therapeutic support.

An asshole, on the other hand, needs to get smacked in the head with a 2x4.

See the difference?

Pp with the borderline mil here. Borderlines are extremely resistant to seeing someone for diagnosis, let alone treatment. Family members who've been subjected to maltreatment by a borderline person for years are capable of recognizing the disorder. I don't need MIL to see a professional to know she has this personality disorder. I don't care if you think the term is overused - the disorder is recognizable. I'm not sure why you take that so personally.

Not the PP, but let me just mention that most healthy people would naturally resist psychiatric treatment even if the are absolute buttholes. I don't think the term is oversused. It is just mostly used by people who have no clue what they're talking about. It doesn't matter what you and other relatives think. You can't "recognize" something you don't know. Unless you're done with med school, you don't know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

As a licensed professional you would know that a well-reasoned diagnosis by an expert is critical. A true borderline needs years of specialized treatment. On-going. In all likelihood treatment for life. Success will require the active participation of spouses, SOs and other loved ones, who themselves need to have some form of therapeutic support.

An asshole, on the other hand, needs to get smacked in the head with a 2x4.

See the difference?

Pp with the borderline mil here. Borderlines are extremely resistant to seeing someone for diagnosis, let alone treatment. Family members who've been subjected to maltreatment by a borderline person for years are capable of recognizing the disorder. I don't need MIL to see a professional to know she has this personality disorder. I don't care if you think the term is overused - the disorder is recognizable. I'm not sure why you take that so personally.

This is interesting. I'm the PP with the diagnosed BPD sister and she loves going to therapists and psychiatrists. She complains about it, but she likes the undivided attention and in fact she keeps getting fired as a patient because she harasses the doctors/therapists. She alternates between accepting the diagnosis (which she ties to my mom's emotional abuse) to saying she is not mentally ill, just mistreated, hence her unpredictable, mean, and aggressive behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

As a licensed professional you would know that a well-reasoned diagnosis by an expert is critical. A true borderline needs years of specialized treatment. On-going. In all likelihood treatment for life. Success will require the active participation of spouses, SOs and other loved ones, who themselves need to have some form of therapeutic support.

An asshole, on the other hand, needs to get smacked in the head with a 2x4.

See the difference?

Pp with the borderline mil here. Borderlines are extremely resistant to seeing someone for diagnosis, let alone treatment. Family members who've been subjected to maltreatment by a borderline person for years are capable of recognizing the disorder. I don't need MIL to see a professional to know she has this personality disorder. I don't care if you think the term is overused - the disorder is recognizable. I'm not sure why you take that so personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

As a licensed professional you would know that a well-reasoned diagnosis by an expert is critical. A true borderline needs years of specialized treatment. On-going. In all likelihood treatment for life. Success will require the active participation of spouses, SOs and other loved ones, who themselves need to have some form of therapeutic support.

An asshole, on the other hand, needs to get smacked in the head with a 2x4.

See the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are we supposed to know whether OP is the *real* expert on everybody else's relatives or everybody else is?

I need a cookie.

This is how I do it.

Everyone is a troll, everyone pretends the situation is real.

Everyone is gaslighting everyone else.

Which means you're gaslighting me!

Now I need two cookies.

Can I have one? Please?

Now it's all about YOU.

We were talking about other people's needs, all right? You suck all of the energy out of the room.

Borderline.

You're right I'll get help.

Now can I have a cookie?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

A licensed professional tree surgeon? Masseuse? Sex therapist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are we supposed to know whether OP is the *real* expert on everybody else's relatives or everybody else is?

I need a cookie.

This is how I do it.

Everyone is a troll, everyone pretends the situation is real.

Everyone is gaslighting everyone else.

Which means you're gaslighting me!

Now I need two cookies.

Can I have one? Please?

Now it's all about YOU.

We were talking about other people's needs, all right? You suck all of the energy out of the room.

Borderline.

Narcissist, maybe?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody knows what they mean.

Thanks to MIL, I know Borderline very well now. Never heard the term before 5 years ago.

Borderline people create a lot of chaos in the lives of people around them. That's why they're so frequently discussed in places like this. If MIL were chill, I'd have nothing to write about.

I believe your MIL creates chaos, sure. But the term for that isn't as "deep" and "complex" as BPD--she's just a pain in the ass. Really. Don't play armchair psychologist when she's just a PITA!

you obviously have not encountered a borderline person!

NP. I don't give a flying fuck who you encountered. Unless you are a liscenced professional, keep your mouth shut, because every time you hand out a diagnosis, you sound stupid.

I am a licensed professional. PP is more right than you are.

About what?