Anonymous wrote:It sucks for me because I am not demanding, and DH is a good spouse, but he's not an occasion guy - he's bad at birthdays and holidays. Normally, whatever. But for some reason my expectations that something really special "should" happen go up for Mother's Day, and then we have a nice normal day but I find myself easily pissed about how I am not appreciated. But I have arranged something nice for myself today.

Same here, but honestly I look at what I have the rest of the year and it makes it not seem so bad.

Anonymous wrote:Wtf ladies. You all make me happy to be divorced. My mothers days are so lovely. Tell these asshats of husbands to step up. Why let yourself be treated like dirt?

This is your definition of "treating someone like dirt?" No wonder you're divorced.

What is the appeal of going out to eat on Mother's Day? It is a tremendous pain in the ass because that's what the rest of the herd is doing. Go out to eat a different day.

Why why why do you women do this to yourselves with the expectations? Unromantic men do not suddenly remember how to be romantic because it's Mother's Day.

I am not going to have a big blowup fight with my husband because he didn't get me fresh flowers and a coveted brunch reservation today. It won't make anyone feel better. If it's really truly important to you, tell him exactly what you want next year and give reminders. Otherwise decide it doesn't matter and he's still a great husband/father even if it's no something you can photograph for Facebook.

So happy to read this thread because I actually cried today.
DH is I guess not romantic or very creative, which has gotten progressively worse since we've been married for 4 years- I guess to be expected... :/
He works a lot so we literally have not had a solo date night since September and I can't remember the last one before that. If I don't schedule, plan it, and demand that he take the day off, it doesn't happen.
Last year for mother's day he was working so we did nothing, but I was a little annoyed that all I got was a card, though I didn't say anything. I go all out for him on father's day- gifts and I research a really nice restaurant that we've never been too.
Today, he was supposed to start work at 4pm, but since he didn't mention any plans or ask me what I wanted I assumed we weren't doing anything. Then at 9 this morning he says, "Are you hungry? Since it's mother's day we should probably grab lunch or brunch." I remind him that without a reservation, everything decent will be packed. And he's like "no worries, I took care of it." So I actually foolishly think that I'm in for a nice surprise and I get us all nicely dressed and we drive to a "restaurant" connected to a liquor store where the hostess and wait staff look like they're wearing their pajamas and the buffet looks like a penitentiary mess hall. I politely asked to leave because the food looked so disgusting and I got in the car and cried (I've also been having a bad season and super underappreciated at work so I think it all just caught up to me.)
The only bright side in all of this is I think he realized that he messed up big time. He's now scrambling to find a babysitter and is taking off from work Friday night.
If you read all of this, thank you. I needed the vent.

My DH didn't acknowledge it at all. I don't get why men think it's okay to do absolutely nothing for their mother of their children.

Anonymous wrote:I have a wonderful husband. He is my best friend, totally devoted and has my back. He is an awesome father/co parent. He is an awesome dishwasher.

He is not romantic in the traditional sense. He has never been. We've been together 15 years. Here's what I do: make the reservations I want, make the spa appointments I want, buy myself the new shoes/necklace whatever I've had my eye on. I allow myself to splurge where I would otherwise feel too guilty too. It works really well. All those gift expectations/let down just aren't worth it.

I agree with this. I care what my life looks like every single day. Any one day doesn't really interest me. I have a great life - great husband and family! Doesn't do anything for Mothers day except go along with whatever I plan. Works great for us.

Anonymous wrote:I try to be grateful for the things I take for granted: a beautiful, healthy child, supportive parents, etc. I hate that this day is always such a disappointment. It's embarrassing to me that I chose a spouse who can't pull it together for a day, or that I'm not worth pulling it together for.

Back to being grateful for the beautiful kid we made.

I love your perspective. I feel the same as you. I will say that DH tried, he went out this morning and got a couple of cards and gift cards. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I do everything for our family and feel like his gestures were really impersonal. But at least he tried....Happy Mother's Day!

Anonymous wrote:I usually end up with an unhappy wife.

I will make a nice breakfast -- something like lox onions and eggs. Then, I will start on dinner. Tonight will be chicken Marsala (would do veal, but DD is horrified of veal). side of "adult" mac and cheese: use gryere and brie with white wine...

Not sure what veggie.


Wife will be upset because DD (14) will put minimal effort.

Oh, you again? Still married?

Dad died last year on mother's day. Rough day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just asked to be able to sleep in and him get up with the kids, and then me take the kids to my mom's for the day, him included only if he wanted. I was told no to all. I had to tell my mom I wasn't allowed to see her on mother's day.

Why don't you go anyway? What's he going to do about it???
I would laugh in his face and go.
Why are you acting like a dormat?

Calling another woman in an abusive relationship/marriage is mean and hateful.

I try to be grateful for the things I take for granted: a beautiful, healthy child, supportive parents, etc. I hate that this day is always such a disappointment. It's embarrassing to me that I chose a spouse who can't pull it together for a day, or that I'm not worth pulling it together for.

Back to being grateful for the beautiful kid we made.

Anonymous wrote:I just asked to be able to sleep in and him get up with the kids, and then me take the kids to my mom's for the day, him included only if he wanted. I was told no to all. I had to tell my mom I wasn't allowed to see her on mother's day.

Why don't you go anyway? What's he going to do about it???
I would laugh in his face and go.
Why are you acting like a dormat?