I would not like asking, but I could ask her to stay for the whole thing, I guess, in case someone has an important message that they think 2 adults can't communicate?

Wow, you really have a bad attitude about this.

Consensus is rare on DCUM OP. You or your H needs to be at the party when guests are arriving, period.

Kid and at least one parent should be there.

Anonymous wrote:If I arrived to a birthday party and the birthday kid's parents who would be supervising my child were not there, I would not leave. The aunt would have to be really spectacular to make me feel comfortable - is she an elementary school teacher? Kids of her own?

When you invite people to a party, you as the host should be there to greet your guests. I would assume you were disorganized and a bit flighty to not show up to your own kid's party.

I am super laid back compared to 90% of the parents I know. I would feel really, REALLY uncomfortable leaving my kid with the aunt in this situation. You done messed up, OP. I'm also really non confrontational but I'd be sorely tempted to call you out on your poor planning.

I can't evite everyone because I don't have all the emails. But, for those with an evite, is it acceptable to put on there that Aunt will be co-host due to a conflict?

I would not like asking, but I could ask her to stay for the whole thing, I guess, in case someone has an important message that they think 2 adults can't communicate?

My son is turning 8, most of the group is already 8 with, I think, one that will be 7 for another month after.

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually hate it when people post a question and then argue about all the answers they receive. But, here I go.

I didn't think that it's so important that birthday boy be there from the beginning, but you all told me that it's important that he be there from the beginning and I believe you and I will make sure that he's there.

But...honestly, do you really think it's important to greet the actual parent of the birthday child when you are dropping off yours for a drop-off party? I make sure to hand mine off to an adult so someone knows he's there but I cannot imagine being upset if told that birthday boy's parents are on their way due to other child's activity.

C'mon, that's a bit precious, isn't it? I'll be there when they pick up their child.

Moving the party puts the party several weeks away from the birthday; I am really hoping not to do that!

I think we will have birthday boy be with aunt (yes, she's outgoing) at birthday spot. Husband and I will have extra car and one parent will leave early for bday party if younger son does his thing earlier in the program. Otherwise, we will meet bithday boy as soon as possible. I think we'll be there for the start of the actual party but not if anyone comes early to do waivers.

I guess if parents come to some sort of conclusions about me (other than I'm trying my best for both my kids, just like them), then I'll just have to live with that.

Thanks for the advisc, especially that birthday boy must be there early. I underestimated the importance of that one.

How old are the kids. My oldest is not yet old enough for drop-off parties, but if it were one of her first ones I would probably be more comfortable dropping off with the birthday kid's actual parents rather than aunt/uncle (maybe a lot would depend on the aunt/uncle and how willing they seemed to be to be responsible for the party). I'm obviously offering advice based on a hypothetical, but that's just me.

I'm guessing if the kids are older, it's less of a big deal...but I think I would find it odd until kids are much older not to see at least one parent around.

But...honestly, do you really think it's important to greet the actual parent of the birthday child when you are dropping off yours for a drop-off party? I make sure to hand mine off to an adult so someone knows he's there but I cannot imagine being upset if told that birthday boy's parents are on their way due to other child's activity.

C'mon, that's a bit precious, isn't it? I'll be there when they pick up their child.

I don't care about hanging out with the parent, but I expect a responsible adult that I know will be there to be in charge when I drop my child off at a party. A random aunt, as great as she may actually be, is not going to put me at ease the same what that the parent of a child in my child's class is.

If I arrived to a birthday party and the birthday kid's parents who would be supervising my child were not there, I would not leave. The aunt would have to be really spectacular to make me feel comfortable - is she an elementary school teacher? Kids of her own?

When you invite people to a party, you as the host should be there to greet your guests. I would assume you were disorganized and a bit flighty to not show up to your own kid's party.

I'm not a nervous type at all but even I would not feel comfortable leaving my kid at a place if the parents of the birthday kid aren't there. And If I had to wait around for 30-45 mins for you to show up I'd be mighty pissed because then I've got a pretty small window before I've got to be back to pick DC up from the party.

No it is not precious for the parents to expect the hosts to be at the party. They may need to relay pickup info to you that aunt can't keep track of, or whatever. But mostly it's just that you're telling them your time is more important than theirs because you invited their kid to a party and then couldn't be bothered to even be there even though they had to be there early. Do it if you want but you're gonna look bad.

Anonymous wrote:So, I actually hate it when people post a question and then argue about all the answers they receive. But, here I go.

I didn't think that it's so important that birthday boy be there from the beginning, but you all told me that it's important that he be there from the beginning and I believe you and I will make sure that he's there.

But...honestly, do you really think it's important to greet the actual parent of the birthday child when you are dropping off yours for a drop-off party? I make sure to hand mine off to an adult so someone knows he's there but I cannot imagine being upset if told that birthday boy's parents are on their way due to other child's activity.

C'mon, that's a bit precious, isn't it? I'll be there when they pick up their child.

Moving the party puts the party several weeks away from the birthday; I am really hoping not to do that!

I think we will have birthday boy be with aunt (yes, she's outgoing) at birthday spot. Husband and I will have extra car and one parent will leave early for bday party if younger son does his thing earlier in the program. Otherwise, we will meet bithday boy as soon as possible. I think we'll be there for the start of the actual party but not if anyone comes early to do waivers.

I guess if parents come to some sort of conclusions about me (other than I'm trying my best for both my kids, just like them), then I'll just have to live with that.

Thanks for the advisc, especially that birthday boy must be there early. I underestimated the importance of that one.

It's rude. No one will say anything to your face, but it is. It also seems odd from the perspective of the birthday child that on his special event, neither one of the parents can be there to greet. Also, some parents do prefer knowing that an adult who recognizes their kid by name will be around for the whole party. Your sister does not know my child's name. I would not leave until I know that another adult who is familiar with my child is there. You seem a little tone deaf.

Anonymous wrote:
But...honestly, do you really think it's important to greet the actual parent of the birthday child when you are dropping off yours for a drop-off party? I make sure to hand mine off to an adult so someone knows he's there but I cannot imagine being upset if told that birthday boy's parents are on their way due to other child's activity.

C'mon, that's a bit precious, isn't it? I'll be there when they pick up their child.

I don't have any need to interact with the birthday child's parents. But I have had other parents say "Larla's allergic to nuts, please let her know if anything has nuts in it. Here's an extra snack for her in case there's an issue. She keeps her epipen in her backpack"' or "Larla's nervous about the ropes course. She wanted to come and celebrate, but don't worry if she decides she doesn't want to participate." or even general chit chat. I don't need it, but other people certainly do and I could imagine they would be disconcerted by no parents in attendance. Important notices (allergies, emotional considerations, etc) going through a game of telephone (parent -> aunt -> you) get mangled and that can be a more serious problem.

I'm glad you've seen the benefit of your child being there on time.

So, I actually hate it when people post a question and then argue about all the answers they receive. But, here I go.

I didn't think that it's so important that birthday boy be there from the beginning, but you all told me that it's important that he be there from the beginning and I believe you and I will make sure that he's there.

But...honestly, do you really think it's important to greet the actual parent of the birthday child when you are dropping off yours for a drop-off party? I make sure to hand mine off to an adult so someone knows he's there but I cannot imagine being upset if told that birthday boy's parents are on their way due to other child's activity.

C'mon, that's a bit precious, isn't it? I'll be there when they pick up their child.

Moving the party puts the party several weeks away from the birthday; I am really hoping not to do that!

I think we will have birthday boy be with aunt (yes, she's outgoing) at birthday spot. Husband and I will have extra car and one parent will leave early for bday party if younger son does his thing earlier in the program. Otherwise, we will meet bithday boy as soon as possible. I think we'll be there for the start of the actual party but not if anyone comes early to do waivers.

I guess if parents come to some sort of conclusions about me (other than I'm trying my best for both my kids, just like them), then I'll just have to live with that.

Thanks for the advisc, especially that birthday boy must be there early. I underestimated the importance of that one.

Yep either rent 2nd car or Uber/taxi so that parents can divide and conquer.

Anonymous wrote:

Do you think it would be alright if older son is there with his aunt and DH and I show up with younger son right on time or a few minutes late?

It would be ok, but not great. As long as the birthday child himself is there, it is acceptable, but it would be better if a parent could be there as well.

+1. Better to have one of the parents leave the Younger child's event a little bit early (use rental car if needed for a few hours/day) and get to older child's bday to greet parents.