Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

To my knowledge paternity hasn't been established, there's not even a paternity order. Are you kidding? Hopefully OP understands all this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

+1, only this was my reality. So happy to know my brother today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

(raises hand) My dad had many babies with APs! I didn't find out about the half siblings (six of them in total from different APs) until I was an adult. Probably best that was kept from me when I was a kid. What a dirty dog he is. Haven't spoken to him since my mom kicked him out.

Was paternity legally established for all those kids?

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

I agree with this PP.

Wishing you all the best, OP. Your thread was one of the first I ever read on DCUM, and I was truly moved by your story. I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, and wishing for better days ahead for you.

Where is the thread?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to you. It has been interesting following your journey, but I am sorry you had to go through this. I would have made the same decision.

I have a friend who decided to stay and welcome the stepson who is a few months older than her youngest child. Three years down the road, it seems to be working, but only because the baby mama was a one-night-stand and out of the picture.

I admire your friend but if my DH sired a bastard there is no way in Hell I would ever allow communication/connection with my children. I would also divorce my DH because I could not be married to a man I could not trust.

Cute, but it's not your decision. If the court orders visitation and communication, you will allow it or you will go to jail.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

I agree with this PP.

Wishing you all the best, OP. Your thread was one of the first I ever read on DCUM, and I was truly moved by your story. I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, and wishing for better days ahead for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for the positive support. My kids do not know that he exists at this point. That is on my husband to deal with that news. I have repeatedly asked him to consult with some child psychologists to find out what would be the best for them. It has been three months and of course, he has done nothing. The OW is married but constantly calls my soon to be ex yelling at him that he needs to see the child. (He has, just not enough for her). She is also calling my mother-one-law and telling her she needs to see the child because he is her biological grandson. She is now threatening to sue for child support. Mind you, her husband is the legal father.

Not my monkeys, not my circus anymore!!!!!

He's horrible, and it will get better the further you distance yourself from this nut.

Until there's DNA and he's declared the LEGAL father he's technically not the father. I wouldn't involve the children at all unless he's put on the birth certificate. Otherwise I certainly wouldn't consider that child to be related to yours. As you said that's his problem, BUT I would make it clear he not talk to the children about it. The child could be anyone's at this point, and apparently your ex is a pathological liar and cheater.

At this point he may never be the legal father, and that's what counts.

I would move on from your ex with very little contact only related to the visitation. I would get it written in the divorce that your kids are not to be alone with any women he may be dating. Only agreed on sitter, or relatives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to you. It has been interesting following your journey, but I am sorry you had to go through this. I would have made the same decision.

I have a friend who decided to stay and welcome the stepson who is a few months older than her youngest child. Three years down the road, it seems to be working, but only because the baby mama was a one-night-stand and out of the picture.

I admire your friend but if my DH sired a bastard there is no way in Hell I would ever allow communication/connection with my children. I would also divorce my DH because I could not be married to a man I could not trust.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

(raises hand) My dad had many babies with APs! I didn't find out about the half siblings (six of them in total from different APs) until I was an adult. Probably best that was kept from me when I was a kid. What a dirty dog he is. Haven't spoken to him since my mom kicked him out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck, OP. You are a strong woman.

How are your kids holding up? Do they accept their new half sibling?

Read below, he's not the legal father so they don't have any half siblings.


"Mind you, her husband is the legal father".

Well they are blood half siblings legal or not.

No they're nothing to each other. There's a legal father. Doesn't matter what he/she said, lol.

OP get divorced, and once you feel ready to date I am sure you will find someone down the road that appreciates you. Forget about exes drama.

Are you kidding? If my dad had an affair and I had a half sibling, I would want to know about it.