My bf didn't have a degree at all, just took some business classes but had a great job for many years. After she died when I was trying to see if her husband posted an obituary I saw her Linkedin. She claimed she had a bachelor's in Bus. Adm. When I looked up the school, they only had 2 year degrees though I knew she didn't have that. Why do people do this kind of thing?

lol.

Funny, I just found out too. Everyone at work knew, but he'd told me he finished school on our first date and never came back to it.

I said, "IS THAT WHAT'S BEEN BOTHERING YOU?!?" and told him I DGAF. Which is true. He's still the smartest man I know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be shocked. That is huge. It would be like me not telling my husband I'd had an abortion. Big things that affect who you are shouldn't be kept secret.

There are things you do that are different from who you are. How does an abortion define who you are? The world isn't black and white, it's painted in infinite shades of grey.

+1. An abortion is no one's business but the woman's own. It doesn't define who you are.

It may not define who you are, but it is a pretty vivid insight into your values or what they used to be. I'd like to know something like this about a potential spouse. Same with education. It is not the matter of whether OP would date/marry DH without a degree. It's the matter of thinking he was something he was not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be shocked. That is huge. It would be like me not telling my husband I'd had an abortion. Big things that affect who you are shouldn't be kept secret.

There are things you do that are different from who you are. How does an abortion define who you are? The world isn't black and white, it's painted in infinite shades of grey.

+1. An abortion is no one's business but the woman's own. It doesn't define who you are.

Does a college degree define who I am? Is anything anybody else's business, for real? No.

The point about the abortion (for me) was actually about the sharing of important things in my life. It might not be important to other people, but it sure as hell changed my life. If I didn't share that, then I'm holding back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be shocked. That is huge. It would be like me not telling my husband I'd had an abortion. Big things that affect who you are shouldn't be kept secret.

There are things you do that are different from who you are. How does an abortion define who you are? The world isn't black and white, it's painted in infinite shades of grey.

+1. An abortion is no one's business but the woman's own. It doesn't define who you are.

Anonymous wrote:I would be shocked. That is huge. It would be like me not telling my husband I'd had an abortion. Big things that affect who you are shouldn't be kept secret.

There are things you do that are different from who you are. How does an abortion define who you are? The world isn't black and white, it's painted in infinite shades of grey.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people will actually lie about this? Is it really that serious?

In DCUM land it is. There are people who won't date someone without an advanced degree. I can picture a scenario where OP's husband as very much into her and knew she was all about the degrees. He hadn't earned one yet but was maybe a few classes short, so he told her he was in night school to stop the questioning and to keep seeing her.

It's they lying about the degree that matters -- not the degree itself.

Anonymous wrote:In the DC area, lying about having a degree is a big deal.

Most people (with decent jobs) in this area have degrees, so a lack of one is somewhat unusual and could potentially affect your ability to stay employed and pay the bills.

He has a good job and it's been 20 years so probably doesn't matter now

Well, considering you went right to formal degree search instead of asking, it sounds like you both are nuts with major communication issues. A match made in heaven!

My x-wife didn't graduate college. She had all but 3 credits to do to get her degree. She was able to walk through the graduation ceremony as she was to get the last credits over summer. She didn't get the last credits. I know at her government job, she received the higher pay grade because she had a degree. Must not have been verified. She would tell people she graduated. Even her parents, who paid for almost all of her college, think she has a degree. (Unless she has told them or took the credits since our divorce, but I doubt that has happened.) Should have been a sign to me at the time that she really didn't have follow though on things.

In the DC area, lying about having a degree is a big deal.

Most people (with decent jobs) in this area have degrees, so a lack of one is somewhat unusual and could potentially affect your ability to stay employed and pay the bills.

Anonymous wrote:Remember the husband who told his wife he'd been accepted to medical school and they were all set to move so he could attend, but he hadn't even gone to college? He murdered her b/c he couldn't stand to have her find out the truth.

Well... he murdered her because he's a sociopath, not because he was "embarrassed."

Mark Hacking! That was the man who lied about being accepted to medical school. For some reason, that case has always stuck in my mind. How in the world could you get away with that? He had to know it would come out at some point. He definitely had mental health issues.

Remember the husband who told his wife he'd been accepted to medical school and they were all set to move so he could attend, but he hadn't even gone to college? He murdered her b/c he couldn't stand to have her find out the truth.

I would be shocked. That is huge. It would be like me not telling my husband I'd had an abortion. Big things that affect who you are shouldn't be kept secret.