Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:19     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote: I am quite close friends with a number of attractive men. At moments, I am attracted to them, but I don't see why that would stop us from being friends. I think it's a good thing that human beings can find each other attractive, including sexually attractive, and appreciate each other in that way, without acting on it. My is a friendship only real if it is holy lacking any sexual tension? Not to stereotype too much, but that feels like a very American approach. Why would it be hard for men and women to appreciate each other as sexually attractive beings while feeling affection, trust and loyalty toward each other? I don't feel any desire to commit to an exclusive sexual relationship with all of my attractive, male friends. I make that choice with one person, my husband. That doesn't mean I am blind, nor should I be. That doesn't invalidate actual friendship.


I said this on the first page, and the response was that if a man wants a friend, he should talk to another man or get a dog.

I think that it's an all-or-nothing approach that is taken by people who have a history of behaving inappropriately and lying about it. I think it's possible to have friendships where there is a little bit of sexual tension, provided that no one ever acts on the tension and that experiencing the tension is not the reason the friendship continues. I like my male friends for a lot of reasons. It's not the attraction - it's what you do with the attraction that defines how problematic it is.

But then again, I'm not an alcoholic and have no problem not drinking, or ordering 1 drink and leaving half of it on the table. People who are not able to regulate their drinking do not understand this and prefer to abstain all together.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:17     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:100% of guys "think" about it but 99% of guys DON"T act on it.


Yes. I'd say pretty much all men, when meeting or in the company of a woman, are mentally cataloging how much they'd like to have sex with them. In the case of extremely attractive women I'd guess that...while sex might not be an option, it's still a big distraction for a guy.

Anyway ladies, just so there's no confusion...yes your "guy friends" are imagining you naked and writhing beneath them. It's true. But as the PP said 99% will keep this to themselves.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:12     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote: I am quite close friends with a number of attractive men. At moments, I am attracted to them, but I don't see why that would stop us from being friends. I think it's a good thing that human beings can find each other attractive, including sexually attractive, and appreciate each other in that way, without acting on it. My is a friendship only real if it is holy lacking any sexual tension? Not to stereotype too much, but that feels like a very American approach. Why would it be hard for men and women to appreciate each other as sexually attractive beings while feeling affection, trust and loyalty toward each other? I don't feel any desire to commit to an exclusive sexual relationship with all of my attractive, male friends. I make that choice with one person, my husband. That doesn't mean I am blind, nor should I be. That doesn't invalidate actual friendship.


You are so right. Just cause you are married doesn't mean you had your eyeballs removed. I can just appreciate the beauty of an attractive male friend, doesn't mean I am going to jump his bones. Plus sometimes it is nice just to have something pretty to look at.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:10     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here with a number of friends who are beautiful women. Most of them I've known since high school or college. I was immature and picky back then, so I only wanted them as friends while I chased different women.

Now we're all happily married, know each other's spouses, etc.

Like with all long time friendships like that, the shared history is huge. We probably would only be aquantences if we met today, but the bond from our youth keeps us closer.


So, you never think about them "that" way? Honestly?


Why does it negate the friendship if he has thought about them "that" way? Honestly?


Yes. This above exactly. Over the course of my life I probably have at some point, but I'm pretty in to my own wife and now she's friends with them too.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:09     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
I am quite close friends with a number of attractive men. At moments, I am attracted to them, but I don't see why that would stop us from being friends. I think it's a good thing that human beings can find each other attractive, including sexually attractive, and appreciate each other in that way, without acting on it. My is a friendship only real if it is holy lacking any sexual tension? Not to stereotype too much, but that feels like a very American approach. Why would it be hard for men and women to appreciate each other as sexually attractive beings while feeling affection, trust and loyalty toward each other? I don't feel any desire to commit to an exclusive sexual relationship with all of my attractive, male friends. I make that choice with one person, my husband. That doesn't mean I am blind, nor should I be. That doesn't invalidate actual friendship.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 16:05     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
All these women insisting it is impossible and that it can only occur with acquaintances and what not sound really self concious and like they have low self esteem or shitty husbands. It is completely possible. Just because YOUR spouse can't handle it or YOU are too anxious doesn't make it impossible c
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:58     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
If the man thinks the woman likes him in a sexual way (regardless of whether it's true) does that make men more or less likely to be into the woman?
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:46     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:If the woman is average looking, does the calculus change?


If they have great personality they start looking better and then......
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:44     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
If the woman is average looking, does the calculus change?
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:41     Subject: Re:Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Man here, I can be friends with beautiful women, but whether it stays as friends depends on her personality. I am friendly and flirty, so if she is too, bad recipe. On the other hand, I have a good female friend who is drop dead gorgeous, but she is a total ice queen so zero sexual tension at all.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:41     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here with a number of friends who are beautiful women. Most of them I've known since high school or college. I was immature and picky back then, so I only wanted them as friends while I chased different women.

Now we're all happily married, know each other's spouses, etc.

Like with all long time friendships like that, the shared history is huge. We probably would only be aquantences if we met today, but the bond from our youth keeps us closer.


So, you never think about them "that" way? Honestly?


Why does it negate the friendship if he has thought about them "that" way? Honestly?


I wasn't asking you, was I?


I don't really care who you were asking.


And I don't really care what your response to my question is. Now, bug off.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:39     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here with a number of friends who are beautiful women. Most of them I've known since high school or college. I was immature and picky back then, so I only wanted them as friends while I chased different women.

Now we're all happily married, know each other's spouses, etc.

Like with all long time friendships like that, the shared history is huge. We probably would only be aquantences if we met today, but the bond from our youth keeps us closer.


So, you never think about them "that" way? Honestly?


Why does it negate the friendship if he has thought about them "that" way? Honestly?


I wasn't asking you, was I?


I don't really care who you were asking.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:38     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here with a number of friends who are beautiful women. Most of them I've known since high school or college. I was immature and picky back then, so I only wanted them as friends while I chased different women.

Now we're all happily married, know each other's spouses, etc.

Like with all long time friendships like that, the shared history is huge. We probably would only be aquantences if we met today, but the bond from our youth keeps us closer.


So, you never think about them "that" way? Honestly?


Why does it negate the friendship if he has thought about them "that" way? Honestly?


I wasn't asking you, was I?
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:34     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Guy here with a number of friends who are beautiful women. Most of them I've known since high school or college. I was immature and picky back then, so I only wanted them as friends while I chased different women.

Now we're all happily married, know each other's spouses, etc.

Like with all long time friendships like that, the shared history is huge. We probably would only be aquantences if we met today, but the bond from our youth keeps us closer.


So, you never think about them "that" way? Honestly?


Why does it negate the friendship if he has thought about them "that" way? Honestly?
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2016 15:33     Subject: Can man ever be strictly friends with beautiful woman?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about the woman, but I know what the man is thinking about. I'm a guy and I do feel women can be friends with a man but the man usually has one thing in mind. If he wants a friend, there are many guys out there or he can get a dog


yeah, this guy is right.

- another guy


14:54 here.

How do your wives, mothers, and daughters feel about your low opinion of women?


You are missing the point. It's not guys have low opinion of women. Guys are just wired differently than women.


Guy here. Agree. It is not disrespect...just biological and laws of nature at play. Man is always in pursuit of the opposite sex.


I don't understand how it's not disrespectful to say that women rank below dogs in their value as a friend.

As for your second point about biology and the laws of nature. There is no natural law that says that your impulse to have sex with anyone you find attractive makes it impossible for you to be friends with that person. Why is that?