We actually had that reading during our wedding: "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh." It was fitting and appropriate because for us and for our families, it's the start of a new family that's completely separate from our natal families. We cut the ties when we got married.

Anonymous wrote:I get the sense that in some cultures, you actually have children as your insurance plan for old age. Better have kids so someone will be forced to take care of you!

Here, in America, we free our children from the burden of their parents by being responsible for ourselves from the getgo.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Many of you posters need to stop projecting the views of your ancestral culture and country onto modern day Americans.

PSA: make sure your parents have long-term care insurance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are actually a huge help to me. They watch grandchildren, help us with home projects, we eat dinner together weekly, etc. Why exactly would they need supported? They have retirement and social security. Everything in our family has always been for the youngest generation.

So how did your family handle the end of life situations where old folks needed 24/7 care and supervision? I understand that your own parents are not at this stage yet, but they will get there eventually (hopefully many years from now).

My grandparents are in their 90s (4 sets between DH and I) and they all still mostly live in their houses. One has a caretaker for 40 hours a week and a grandkid (grad student) is paid to help her on the weekend. One moved herself voluntarily into assisted living and is extremely happy painting and playing cards with everyone else. The other two live independently and have no issues. Of course they get help for things like setting up the Christmas tree and they pay for lawn maintenance or handyman services. When my grandpa died, I took FMLA as did another relative and cared for him for his last 3 weeks and he died in a hospital bed in his own bedroom with grandma in the room. Cancer took him fast.

All of our sets of grandparents worked blue collared jobs (welders, railroad, coal miner and a plasterer), but they saved for their retirements, had paid off houses and are getting by just fine with social security and savings.